Single guy profiles - an honest question.

[melontstr]

Okay, so we recently decided to "re-open" our profile and let single guys contact us again. (Before, we were new and hadn't really decided whether or not we wanted to consider a single male, so to improve the "signal-to-noise ratio" we had blocked single males from writing.)

Now - I could ask why it is SO HARD for most (and I mean like 90%) of these guys to manage more than a single, often incoherent sentence in their introductory email ... or why they almost always ignore the male half of the couple and act like he isn't in the picture ... but at the moment, my real curiosity is the PROFILES.

From you ladies & couples out there who are seeking an encounter with a single guy ... would you rather see a single guy with a thoughtful, articulate profile and a few quality photographs of his face (and his body, of course) -

- or a mostly empty profile with about fifty low-quality and mostly the same shots of his cock jammed either in some chick's mouth or pussy.

I am not trying to be funny or obnoxious. I am seriously wondering if we are in the minority because we don't find that appealing at all. I should add that it has nothing to do with liking or disliking hardcore photos.

It's just the lack of imagination, and the fact that most of these guys seemingly can't be bothered to add anything else that turns us off.

So - am I just wrong, and is it the case that many (most?) women & couples find those sorts of profiles (from single males) to be just what they seek ... or do most people (like us) wish there were better ones from which to choose?

Just curious ... and seriously not trying to stir the pot!

[Dynamar]

I'm not trying to be snarky either... but there are guys who thoughtfully fill in their profiles who are also dorks, and conversely, there are guys who don't fill in their profiles at all who are also awesome in bed. The question is: Where do your priorities lie?

Myself, I pretty much look to the middle. Stunningly articulate and amazingly complete detail aren't really necessary (although I am a stickler for complete thoughts and good spelling). I'd just as soon see clear answers to the profile questions, even if they aren't that long. After that, you can't really judge a book by the cover. Lots of folks prefer to scope out singles at a club (whether on- or off-premise) or meet & greets for that reason alone.

Remember, you can always say 'no, thank you' to those who don't strike your fancy for whatever reason. Being nice costs nothing.

[pleasantinok]

I can't speak for the majority, of course, but we like a good profile, be it couples or singles. I realize it takes some time and thought to write a good profile, but that is essentially the first impression of a person we get. If you are serious about swinging, don't you want to make a good first impression?

We may contact a profile without pictures if it has something in it that describes the person. If all we get in response is essentially grunts, non-answers, and cock-shots, then we are done with them. They must show some intelligence.

Mr Pleasant

[sweet_tna]

We are not presently seeking single males, though I have perved a few SM profiles every now and then. I find the same disparity of profiles, as well. While an articulate, well-written profile will grab my attention every time, I cannot expect everyone to be a poet laureate. This goes for couples and singles alike. So you read what is there, and either decide to give that single or couple a closer look or pass them by. With luck, there's more to them than a less than impressive profile. Conversely, if it's a wonderfully well-written profile, you have to hope they live up to it. One way or the other, we're all just tossing the dice here.

=)

[JustAskJulie]

My feeling is if that's all the thought they can put into a profile, then how much thought are they actually likely to put into things if you actually met them? And as for nothing but pictures of their dick...... If all I can see is a picture of a dick, I have to assume you are one.

Then again, I see the same thing on couples profiles. Profiles where they put the bare minimum required (one sentence per section) written in all lower case (or ALL CAPS) and those few sentances really say nothing about them or what they are looking for.

[Sico_tiko]

Hey everyone, why are you talking about single swingers as if the are freaks or another types or creatures? remember that without single guys u couldnt easily enjoy MMF or MFM.
We are not freaks, maybe some guys enter swinging aiming only to have sex with a wife with her husband watching or enjoying with them, but not all singles are like that. the most importnat part of swinging is sharing everything even your partner.
For example in all my meetings and my times i did with coules i was trying as much as possible to fulfill there fantasies and let them enjoy the action both the male and the female, and i know alot of single swingers who do that. so not all of them are bad.

[fun4Ds]

I don't know everyones reasons behind their lack of a good profile... I honestly give the benefit of doubt that they just don't know any better. They don't know much about the lifestyle, but I'm guy enough to understand one thing.

There is sex to be had on the Internet Who would of thunk it . This is what they see. Its in a way what we show them, its what we want. I mean looking at it from their point of view, we show sometimes, that we like 3 sums. What would any horny guy think ?

They see a website that promotes couples wanting no strings attached sex with MFM's and those that play separate, let alone gang-bangs. We live a life of no strings attached sex with others. Most of us don't want anything more out of it. What should they presume ? We show pics sometimes in the most alluring of ways. Its about sex plain and simple. I figure that is why websites have the block single males feature. So we don't get bothered by someone we don't want bothered by. I know we never used the entire block single males because we were in fact, open to the wright single male. Like anyone els that likes MFM's sometimes. Its our responsibility to police our own areas. We block the few dick head no brainers, that come with the territory.

I got all pissy one time over a bad e-mail and then had to think.... we were the ones advertising. They are just the reader who would see it like this.

Possibility of sex here: Apply within, fill out a profile with a minimum number of characters and enter the drawing..... Its FREE. Your limited to a small number of mails and profile reviews until you pay.... But keep on trying, its allot easier than dating. After all we are talking, no strings attached sex here.

I think the part about us having a relationship and understanding how we feel about the lifestyle. Wanting couples or singles that are compatible, is in very small print to them.

I chatted with a guy once and asked him why he didn't offer more in his profile that would make him at least give us a reason to be interested. He said "I didn't know I had to" Well there ya go.... duhhhh on me . I'm not the one to educate men on how to play with us or how to behave in the lifestyle. I figure they can learn about the lifestyle on their own. Good luck with what they have in their profile, it does make searching for the good males more simplified .

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by Sico_tiko

Hey everyone, why are you talking about single swingers as if the are freaks or another types or creatures? remember that without single guys u couldnt easily enjoy MMF or MFM.
We are not freaks, maybe some guys enter swinging aiming only to have sex with a wife with her husband watching or enjoying with them, but not all singles are like that. the most importnat part of swinging is sharing everything even your partner.
For example in all my meetings and my times i did with coules i was trying as much as possible to fulfill there fantasies and let them enjoy the action both the male and the female, and i know alot of single swingers who do that. so not all of them are bad.

No one is implying that you are bad..... but you are in with a few bad apples that spoil the basket.

Be yourself, your one of the few good ones then.

[Hot Raleigh Cpl]

We actively seek single guys (and single women and couples) to pleasure L. Our profile on all sites describes what we're looking for.

To us, the email they send to initiate contact is more important than their profile. Sure, it's nice for a guy to have a complete, articulate profile. But it isn't necessary.

The email, though, provides the first impression.

We try not to let grammatical, punctuation, or spelling errors negatively influence us, as we know not everyone has had the good fortune to be well educated. We also know that some folks have difficulty writing, so we don't require that the email be world-class articulate.

To give us the right vibe, the email should be polite, informative, and not pushy or demanding. We like to know where they found out about us (e.g., "saw your post/profile on such-and-such a site"), something about them (e.g., 45yo dwm), an idea what kind(s) of fun they're looking for, where they're located, and when they're available to play. Icing on the cake is stuff like the ways they enjoy pleasuring their playmates, an invitation to something nice, a considerate suggestion for possible meetings. Those emails get an informative, well-considered response. Those single guys have a strong probability of getting lucky.

The ones that drive us crazy are the opposite. Some recent examples we've gotten include:

* A demand: "Meet me in Greensboro on my lunch hour and give me a BJ." No consideration of the fact that Greensboro is 1.5 - 2 hrs away. No offer to do anything to pleasure L. Just a one-sided, selfish demand.

* Lack of information about them: "I'm interested. Send details" Interested in what? Who is he? Where is he?

* The most frequent annoyance: "Send pix."

There are lots more examples.

Often, we give guys the benefit of doubt, and answer "Thanks for your email. Where did you hear about us? (which group?) Please tell us a little about yourself and the kinds of fun you're interested in." Some of these -- 1 in 4 or 5 -- will respond appropriately and be considered. Some never respond, some come back with a response as useless as the initial contact ("I found you on line. I want to fuck your wife." We don't know any more than we did before. Oh, well.

But single guys will almost certainly get lucky with L if they give us the right vibe, are interested in flavors we are, and we can work out the scheduling.

S and L, Hot Raleigh Cpl

[melontstr]

Thanks!

Hey all ... thanks for the variety of thoughtful responses.

I definitely wasn't trying to paint all single guys with the same broad brush ... but there do seem to be some patterns.

To the person who said they place a lot of value in the first email, I agree.

Of course there are plenty of decent guys out there with the class & etiquette to make a great "third party" ... then again, maybe those guys will have couples' profiles before too long! :-)