Swinging Males get left out

[lord]

Hai

I am a single male just got into the swinging scene. I t is hard being a single male. It seems so destressing to see that all single females want to swing with couples or other females. And all couples want to swing with other females!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, the single males are left out of evrything........... it is hard.

Why should it be so.............................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

[ciscosv]

There are tons of factors why single males are not heavily sought after. Supply and Demand my freind. The biggest is a couple has a male involved with the relationship. Men typically are not down with hairy butts and sucking a schlong. There are just too many positives for swinging couples to gravitate towards couples.

Hang in there. You may find something

BTW: It can be tough for couples to find campatible couples to
play with.

[Flori_DAMAN]

I went from a 10 year swinging relationship to single in the loss of one heartbeat. I swung single for a few years and did OK. The thing was that I was a familiar person at my club. I was familiar there with my deceased wife but after she passed then I was just another single guy.

So, I started being the bartender. This gave me the opportunity to be familiar. I knew the owners of course, and helped run the joint. A few times I did manage to have short term relationships with single gals that would accompany me. As strictly a single male though, I found that familiarity breeds comfort. People liked me cuz I was never the guy that lurked around the sex rooms. I sometimes just spent the night in the hot tub introducing myself to all the people that "came" and went...lol.

After a while I was a part of the club. When someone needed or wanted a third, I was chosen just because I was trusted.

This is a hell of a price to pay if you are single. I was widowed and had absolutely no interest in a long term relationship so I felt that I was satisfying a part of my life that had been taken away.

The reason I say this is because the average single guy would be better off just doing the dating routine and finding a suitable mate to swing with rather than wasting his life going to swing clubs and never really gaining anything.

But the single guy that really is into swinging, can be successful if he keeps going to the same club and lets people know him. Assuming he isn't some kind of asshole of course.

I had many occasions when I actually had sex with people without ever knowing there names or exchanging any talk.

When you are trusted and the action gets going and you are there you just don't know what will happen.

Now, I'm kinda on the fence. I have been considering going to a club but just don't want to go through the effort of getting established because it is so time consuming and I am in a different state now so I don't know anyone.

And I'm older too. Not old, but older. I know sitting on this puter typing all night is stupid but its free and this is kinda like my social club, maybe a surrogate social club until I can get off my lard ass and get out into the jungle again.

But back to the point. If you are a single male and want to swing you just gotta dedicate yourself to the proposition. It doesn't matter how good looking you are, or how much money you have, or how big your tongue is, it matters how you handle yourself and that you are trusted.

I have seen many super studs go to swinging clubs and fall flat on there face. These guys would do great in a night club, which I can't navigate but they can't figure out why they can't get laid in a swingers club. It is because swingers are not looking for lifetime partners, or just getting fucked. They want a male that has the capacity to create an atmosphere that is conductive to both partners and non-threatening.

John

[FlyBiNiter]

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN
When you are trusted and the action gets going and you are there you just don't know what will happen.

It doesn't matter how good looking you are, or how much money you have, or how big your tongue is, it matters how you handle yourself and that you are trusted.

I have seen many super studs go to swinging clubs and fall flat on there face.

They want a male that has the capacity to create an atmosphere that is conductive to both partners and non-threatening.

John

The portions of John's post are so dead on. The one time that we had a "soft" experience with a single male, he just happened to be observing us in action (we leave the door open often in a private room... we like to watch and be watched.. lol)
He politely offered himself, and was allowed to fondle and caress me while my man and I continued what we were doing. He wasn't a "stud" but he was respectful, and not at all demanding. He didn't expect anything more than what he got... a free feel and a close up view of the show. If we had the chance, we'd gladly invite him to join us for an all out session, simply because he had the perfect attitude. He was in the right place, at the right time, and he was totally non-intrusive. If all single males approached swinging that way, I think more couples would be open to them.


:evil:

[Roxysbayou]

I agree, trust is the biggest thing. I trust swinging with a couple before a single guy because I feel that if he was okay for his mate then he is okay for me. I am sure that I am wrong, but for my own security I just feel that a married man is less likely to be running around picking up just anybody. I just feel that they are less likely to have a contagious disease, and I have found that in my enounters with single men, they are always trying to lure me away from my hubby to play alone. I just don't do that. On the bright side, I do know of several men in this lifestyle that do quite well. They have had numerous encounters and are still happily swiniging today. There are plenty of couples out there who are just looking for single men for various levels of play. Just be patient. If I do talk to a single guy I take a lot more time in getting to know him, than I would a couple. That's just me. And I tend to get turned off easily by over aggressiveness and a constant demand for me to send a bunch of pictures. This is just my opinion and how we do things in our experience in the lifestyle. So I hope that it helps to clarify some things for you.

[ready2pla]

I think you have too hang in there as the male part of the swinging couple we have had some wild times with a single male in our sex lives. We met a couple that were single swingers that both played seperate at times. As sometimes happens we did not hit it off with the female, nothing against her just happens in this lifstyle. We have had some wild times with the single male my wife enjoys the company of two men in a bed to the extream she gets one right after the other and most times two at once she is one happy lady. Neather male is Bi we just have a great time keeping happy.

[Vjklander]

I think a single guy and a single girl hooking up is called dating.
Beyond that, I agree with ready2pla. We have played with single men and single women and couples. All have been fun experiences. The msgs we tend to respond to say "Hi I'm ... would like to meet and maybe play if we get along". The ones that say "Hi I'm hung like john holmes and I wanna fuck the shit out of your wife" turn us off bigtime. But 2 or more guys really turns my hunny on. For her birthday a couple years ago I arranged 6 guys for her.
J

[ready2pla]

Yes I agree with Vjklander if a male came off with that additude he would not make it past the gate keeper which is my position.
The single male we play with should be a poster child for all single male swingers. He always calls to see if we had a good time. He sends e-mails with plenty of compliments to a sexy lady which happens to be my wife. He ask her what she would like and tries to please her to the fullest. But he get's his reward because she shows us both a fantastic time. He won't come or leave with out shaking my hand all the time thanking me for the great time we just had. We are alway's looking forward to the next meeting.

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by ready2pla
Yes I agree with Vjklander if a male came off with that additude he would not make it past the gate keeper which is my position.
The single male we play with should be a poster child for all single male swingers. He always calls to see if we had a good time. He sends e-mails with plenty of compliments to a sexy lady which happens to be my wife. He ask her what she would like and tries to please her to the fullest. But he get's his reward because she shows us both a fantastic time. He won't come or leave with out shaking my hand all the time thanking me for the great time we just had. We are alw

ay's looking forward to the next meeting.

Well, Johns commin out. I am going to start swinging again. I have been out of every picture for way too long and I'm gonna jump into it head first. Things can't change that much.

BORN SWINGER

John

[TomF_22033]

Vjklander,

6 guys! WOW, sounds like you gave her a birthday to remember!
One thing I can't understand is why do guys send crude come ons like that? Do they really think that they're impressing you? Or are the just immature idiots?

[Vjklander]

Originally posted by TomF_22033
Vjklander,

6 guys! WOW, sounds like you gave her a birthday to remember!
One thing I can't understand is why do guys send crude come ons like that? Do they really think that they're impressing you? Or are the just immature idiots?

Thats a darn good question, but maybe that is more of an 'and' than an 'or'.
Yes, she does remember it well. hehe. She particularly enjoyed the birthday spankings she received. The gentleman who hosted the party is a very nice single guy who has the pleasure of entertaining my girl for the day about once a month. He lives about 5 miles from where I work, which is 65 miles from where we live, so if we have plans in DC or MD, she gets to stay with him for the day.
J

[Nymph an' Satyr]

Originally posted by TomF_22033
Vjklander,
One thing I can't understand is why do guys send crude come ons like that? Do they really think that they're impressing you? Or are the just immature idiots?

That's a good question- why do they say things like that? Me and my wife have no problem with mfm- in fact we like it. But we would never advertise that on our web profile.

The reason we wouldn't advertise for a single male?- well as things stand now, with a "no single males" statement on our web profile we get at least one single male every week or two. They invariably have the "John Holmes" attitude. Well as somebody else said- "I'm the gatekeeper"- and they ain't getting past me.

I think Flori_DAMAN is right- the single male needs "the capacity to create an atmosphere that is conductive to both partners and non-threatening." Cuz if he can't get past me- he ain't getting to my wife.

BTW Vjklander- 6 guys- Good one

[Ashley]

The reason I say this is because the average single guy would be better off just doing the dating routine and finding a suitable mate to swing with rather than wasting his life going to swing clubs and never really gaining anything.

This is an intriguing comment. I'm wondering just how easy it is for the average single guy to find a suitable mate to swing with. Granted my boyfriend found me, but he introduced me to the lifestyle and he's been in it a while. I know we've had some ups and downs revolving around my ambivalence and I think I'm pretty sexually open compared to most women I know. It would be fun to poll single women and ask how many would be willing to swing with their boyfriends. I'm thinking a guy could date a lot of girls before he finds one that's interested. He might be better off hanging out at the swing clubs afterall.

[EternallySingle]

I have asked out nearly 200 women (of course, 190 of them said 'get lost, you gay freak') in the four years since my last girlfriend/swing partner left to pursue a new career and not a one has held my attention long enough for me to bring up what are sexual fantasies are, let alone tell them about my interests in swinging. The one that I had been with more than six months literally ran and told everyone she knew that my ex-girlfried and I used to have sex with other people. Coming from a small community (50K people in the five surrounding communities) that has made getting a date locally an impossibility because now, everyone either thinks that I swing "both ways" or they don't want their reputation ruined by being seen with me in public. I believe that, more than being a prude or finding the lifestyle unappealing is a bigger factor for the scarcity of single women AND why the single men have such a hard time meeting the ones who are interested.

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by EternallySingle
I have asked out nearly 200 women (of course, 190 of them said 'get lost, you gay freak') in the four years since my last girlfriend/swing partner left to pursue a new career and not a one has held my attention long enough for me to bring up what are sexual fantasies are, let alone tell them about my interests in swinging. The one that I had been with more than six months literally ran and told everyone she knew that my ex-girlfried and I used to have sex with other people. Coming from a small community (50K people in the five surrounding communities) that has made getting a date locally an impossibility because now, everyone either thinks that I swing "both ways" or they don't want their reputation ruined by being seen with me in public. I believe that, more than being a prude or finding the lifestyle unappealing is a bigger factor for the scarcity of single women AND why the single men have such a hard time meeting the ones who are interested.

I have noticed that when girls lose a swinging partner they usually give up swinging.

Guys think they can repeat the whole thing, and it is possible, but they may trip over great reltionships trying to do it. For what that is worth.

John, who is starting a swinging club..lol.


OH my.