what's up with single guys???

[curiousinca]

Why is it that single guys are sooo hard to hook up with? We have enjoyed several MFM's but lately are having a very hard time getting single guys to show up, or even show interest. My wife is very attractive, average sized but not heavy in the least, nice breasts, and really into it. We have photos posted in our profile at SLS, and even offer to split the room cost with them.

We have had at least 3 guys recently say they will meet us for drinks and play, and they all have flaked without even a phone call....

Are we doing something wrong? We send mails out from SLS, open our private photos, chat a time or two, and then make plans. They all seem eager to play, but most do not show.

It seems to me that NSA sex for a single guy would be too good to pass up. Am I totally wrong here?


let us know what works for you.....

thanks!

[VegasLee]

What you described is nothing new.

You have to remember on the Internet this is a big fantasy for most guys but when it comes time to get real they run for momma. It is not just single guys either. It is many in general, couples and singles.

We had a couple call us from their cell phone telling us they are on the way to the party, that they were five minutes away and never show.

We only meet people at the club now. We never set up dinner or drinks for meeting new people we don't know. Most will not show up so way waste the time. Besides, if we meet at the club and don't click there are many others for them or us to meet and party with.

With many, fantasies just don't pan out when it is time to get real.

[fun4Ds]

I agree with Lee, the only thing I could add because we have been through the single male search is. We were selective true, but we still feel that the very few, good friends we have found, we have kept that way. Our good friends we call our single male few, are just that.. they make it worth knowing them.

We said good buy to many on the ole Internet, without ever meeting them. I guess we lucked out in finding the good few.

We hope you do as well, dont give up on the few who are out there.

[interested-05]

I once fit into the category of being the single guy who was looking to meet a couple. I have what is probably only a partial answer to your questrion and frustration.
First , when I did arrange a meet with another couple, I would always show up and sometimes turned out I was the one who was stood up. If I met them and the chemistry wasn't right, decided to pass on the opportunity.
One of the big issues for the newly interested and looking single guy, Is believeing the couple are truly serious, or that they would really be ok with sharing their wife with a stranger. It is a mistaken belief that it "only happens in movies." Also there is always the question of safety, how do you know you are not being set-up to get mugged and robbbed, or something worse?
After really investigating the lifestyle, and having a couple offfers, some of the guys realize that it is reality and they too can enjoy it, and the couples they passed on were genuine.
I hate to admit passing up a tryst with two couples that hit on me at a bar one evening. It was not an arraged meeting, I wasn't looking for that type of opportunity at the time and was so surprised, that I really didnt believe it was being offered. But it did start me thinking that maybe people really do swap wives, and swinging with strangers.
With time I came to a point where I am now part of a couple, that does enjoy playing with others from time to time. It didn't come fast and didnt come easy, but has come to its own level of reality that is changing and adapting as we explore the possibilities.
Best of luck, some single guys are simply trying to figure out whats real and what isn't. Others are simply predators and then again some are simply nice guys who know how to relate and enjoy the opportunity.

[yuvaraja]

In MFM's I've been involved, I never jump right in. Most have been where I'm courting or having an affair with a married woman so I know what to expect because through her, I know the husband's intentions. Other situations, I've been approached and I need to get the read that I can feel safe with the man. It's not a homophobic thing, but a man thing. If I were a single woman, I'd want the read that I were safe, as well. If I get a bad vibe, i won't like it anyway, so I've 'flaked out' as well. Trust me, if the guy flakes out, it was for the better because he wouldn't be comfortable.

I'm always looking for it to be crystal clear that there's no male contact. Obviously, it's happened, but it's clear and something accidentally happens, it's funny. When it's not clear, it's creepy.

[JustAskJulie]

For many guys they are so into the fantasy of doing something that when the reality of it might actually occur they freak out and can't handle it. Some are just playing from the beginning but I think a higher percentage really want to do it but when the reality of it hits they can't handle it.

Better that they not show up than that they freak out after you get into a room together and they realize they can't have sex in front of another guy.

[tribbles]

We discovered it was fantasy for many and many 'single' guys aren't really single...but they want the fantasy via email/chat so they say they are.

We agree with Lee....meet at a club, cuz if they don't show, you can still find others to have fun with.

[arvcpl]

My advice is to find a lifestyle club that allows single males and look for the ones that are there week after week and seem to have a lot of friends at the club. They are probably for real and are probably popular for a reason. Most of the flakes you will encounter on the hook-up sites are losers, fakes, cheaters and wannabes. They talk big and talk about how they can drive their rockhard member through six layers of reenforced concrete and they are all for your wife showing up alone at their house in the middle of the night but they freak out when they realize that there is going to be a male partner involved. Most single guys are on the websites thinking that they are going to be swamped with offers from single chicks who are going to bring their girlfriends along with them. There are actually very few legitimate single guys that will accomadate couples.

[Pleaseinu2]

Originally Posted by arvcpl

My advice is to find a lifestyle club that allows single males and look for the ones that are there week after week and seem to have a lot of friends at the club. They are probably for real and are probably popular for a reason.

You know that would be the Ideal Setting, but being on the outside looking in how many clubs allow Singles to participate.....as far as I know None in this Area!!!! Maybe I'm just in the Wrong Area!

[tribbles]

[quote=Pleaseinu2;316485]

Originally Posted by arvcpl

My advice is to find a lifestyle club that allows single males and look for the ones that are there week after week and seem to have a lot of friends at the club. They are probably for real and are probably popular for a reason. QUOTE]


You know that would be the Ideal Setting, but being on the outside looking in how many clubs allow Singles to participate.....as far as I know None in this Area!!!! Maybe I'm just in the Wrong Area!

Look at the SLS groups near you, at the Events and watch 'who's online' for people putting together small house parties where males are invited. Also, you have looked at all the clubs listed in your area by SLS and here at Swingersboard.......

[Pleaseinu2]

[quote=tribbles;316487]

Originally Posted by Pleaseinu2

Look at the SLS groups near you, at the Events and watch 'who's online' for people putting together small house parties where males are invited. Also, you have looked at all the clubs listed in your area by SLS and here at Swingersboard.......

Yeah Looked at the ones in the area from SLS but haven't on here. Still Getting the Feel for Swinger board! None are SM Friendly, but were kinda use to it!! As far as the house partys, the ones I've seen still Exclude the single males!!

[tribbles]

[quote=Pleaseinu2;316511]

Originally Posted by tribbles

Yeah Looked at the ones in the area from SLS but haven't on here. Still Getting the Feel for Swinger board! None are SM Friendly, but were kinda use to it!! As far as the house partys, the ones I've seen still Exclude the single males!!

Time to start your own?

[Pleaseinu2]

[quote=tribbles;316544]

Originally Posted by Pleaseinu2

Time to start your own?

Hey now thats a Idea!!! Maybe one day!!

[NumbskullsX2]

[quote=Pleaseinu2;316511]

Originally Posted by tribbles

Yeah Looked at the ones in the area from SLS but haven't on here. Still Getting the Feel for Swinger board! None are SM Friendly, but were kinda use to it!! As far as the house partys, the ones I've seen still Exclude the single males!!

The number of house parties has grown with the number of clubs who have started allowing "select" single males to attend on Sat nights. We know some couples who still go to those clubs, but it's mostly to parade and flirt with the guys. The real action is at the after-hours party back at somebody's home, or in a private room (when they can find one).

Maybe you should consider hosting your own house parties? Of course, to be fair about it, you'd have to allow "select single males" but since they'd all be "select" I don't see how there could be a problem.

I think that if you do that just one time, you'll understand why most couples hosting house parties just don't invite any of them.

[tribbles]

Plenty of the house parties near us allow single males...they limit the number and have age requirements and even tells them no alcohol.

If you only have 2 or 3 extra and they are mature as well as sober, single males can be fun and not cause any issues.