what's up with single guys???

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by curiousinca

Why is it that single guys are sooo hard to hook up with? We have enjoyed several MFM's but lately are having a very hard time getting single guys to show up, or even show interest.

It seems to me that NSA sex for a single guy would be too good to pass up. Am I totally wrong here?

You're not totally wrong, you're just not seeig it from most guys perspective. I think it comes down to 2 things which are kind of related, and kind of not. One is that there are a lot of single guys out there, which gives a woman or a couple a lot of choices. So naturally, they choose the best "specimen" from the group. The only problem is, the best specimen from their perspective might not be the best specimen from his. I know that's how it was for me in my first 3-some (this was many years ago, before I knew anything about "swinging"). I hate to sound conceted, but for them, it was like, "Oh boy, look what we found on the beach!" but for me it was like "Oh shit, is this what it's come to? Some horny old woman and her freak husband? I came down here hoping for a hot night with a college girl on spring break, and wound up in a room with "The Ropers" (she looked just like the actress that played her)

Looking back, their mistake was in assuming that most young men would be happy to have sex with anybody, just because it was easy and there were no strings attached. My mistake was in sobering up.

I'm not saying that's YOUR situation, I'm saying that was mine, but I know I'm not the only guy that's happened to (we share war-stories too, you know).

The other thing is what you said, "that NSA sex for a single guy would be too good to pass up" Speaking honestly here? It all depends on who the NSA sex is with. Some times it's good, but some times, it's, well, "Thanks, see ya" or "Thanks, but no thanks" The choice isn't between "NSA sex with you" and "no sex", it's between NSA sex with you and your husband, and maybe sex with another woman alone. Unless the female of the couple is stunningly beautiful (compared to the women he normally dates) or he actually gets off on being sloppy seconds or by being around another guys dick, he'll probably choose to be with the younger, single woman.

My advice to you (if your not already doing it) is the same as it would be if I were coaching you in baseball...know your strike zone and don't swing at anything that isn't passing through it. The farther you get from your own age and appearance, the less likely you'll make a good connection. Also, try to find experienced guys to play with. Swingers get divorced just like everybody else, and the husbands and wives are out there if you know where to look (and what questions to ask).

Good luck to you

[screaminggood]

Please...

You might also want to contact the clubs and ask if there are any "exceptions" for well-behaved single males who know the rules. My fav club says single men only on Fridays, but in reality, some get a Saturday invite, too---it's who they know and how they act.

If you still can't find them in Virginia---ROAD TRIP

[absingleman]

Two years ago I cancelled on two swing parties. One was after crow collided with my windshield when I was travelling 80 mph on I-94. The other was when a woman I had been flirting with for a couple of weeks showed up at my place in a leather coat and a bikini...in November. Both times I called and told them why I was cancelling, and sent pictures to confirm my story the next day (Miss C was a bit of an exhibitionist and had no problems letting me send a video email to the party host...still don't know if she would be interested in going...well, thats another story). Twice in three months with the same hosts was enough to get me blacklisted with their group. Oh, well. I'm still seeing that woman off an on, even though she is seeing someone else as well so its not exclusive.

When it comes to swinging with single men, you are going to find more single men who will cancel at the last minute, the trick is to determine not how experienced he is in swinging but if he puts more value in his swinging couple sex partners than his single female sex partners. Most, not all single men who swing, prefer their single female sex partners over couples. More opportunity exists between two singles to have a long term tryst, and sometimes a deeper friendship can develop between two singles than is possible between a single and a couple.

Its a numbers game (I know I say that alot, but I'm an electronic technician, computer programmer, and now a math tutor. I got numbers on the brain) and the only way to win is to learn how to reduce your odds of failure. Most single men who want to swing successfully put dating on the back burner for a year or so, making it less likely that the random single female will show up on his doorstep wearing nothing but a blue bikini on the night of a planned meeting. Yes, it happens, just like couples sometimes approach single guys in a bar and proposition him for sex.

[WesternSwing]

We've had some problems with single guys lately, mostly with disappearing after they get some from Mrs. WS. It seems they get laid once or twice then disappear as quickly as they appeared, which isn't cool with Mrs. WS and therefore isn't cool with me.

I think some are freaked-out by the having sex with married woman angle since they've been told their whole life that sex with married women leads to death by jealous husband, but I they are mostly just playas and not the real deal. I'm sure they do the same to single women. It's a personality flaw in them.

I also agree with VegasLee and Julie, it all seems like fun until it becomes a reality. Case in point, we've had more "performance" issues with single men than with married men.

We've also had a high ratio of Internet players that hide anonymously behind their computer and play stupid email or IM games with us. It's "safe" there and they can handle that, but not the real thing.

Again, sometimes the fantasy seems really cool, then the reality hits them like a Mack truck and they can't walk the walk.

We too have started looking more at single male friendly parties and club events because in person seems a better, more reliable way to meet someone. Especially in this realm of swinging.

Mr. WS

[jnbsmokin]

If you were in MD, I could send the ones that are pestering me to death!!! It clearly says on our aff, looking for couples(man & woman), groups, and couples(2women). And further down I make it clear that I do nothing without my husband, but just a moment ago, some prick had to be blocked because he wanted daytime 1-on-1! This drives me crazy!
Anyhoo, back to the topic, Some are just in it to talk or could they have been new to the lifestyle and got nervous?