All Single Males Aren't Jerks

[LadyHawke]

continuation......

...while not threatening YOUR swing style.

(had to clarify)

[LadyHawke]

I might add that this is not (by far) the ONLY way we swing. Openness is the point I'm trying to make here.

[fun4Ds]

Sex is the question, yes is the answer.

I think you are mistaken YES. Do you feel that we are swingers because our wives are not satisfied with sex from what is available and that is the reason we do this ?

Or because we like sex with others we are all open to single males?

I know your trying to put your best foot foward here, but do you think that its the single males that are the main comidity we search for? And then you try to offer yourself and we shut the door in your face.

What type profiles do you send out seven at a time too..

Give us an example of what the profile says the couple is looking for.

I can't help to think you are just picking out profiles from the picture and thinking they are asking for single males the ones that do are usally short and simple . Are you reading the entire profile before you send a mail ?

I'm seeing so many profiles these days that state just that. We are into MFM but if we want a single male we will find you. That leaves you building the best profile you can come up with and like fishing you wait and wait untill you get a bite. I know there are so many guys like you sending out what your stats and desires are that just never read the entire profile. Are you sure your not sending a mail to someone that clearly states we will find you. Do you have a good picture of yourself.

[two42lovers]

We include single guys from time to time, too, but knowing how to play with a couple seems to be a fairly rare talent.

Single men that are new to the lifestyle can't help but feel a little awkward at first by including the man of the couple in his desire to romance the woman... It's a different game than we're used to with different rules.

Problem with novice guys is exactly as you say. Most don't know the game or the rules. My guess is many couples who enjoy MFM tend to avoid novices. Have to admit we have no big interest in being someone's test case...

Best bet is to create a great profile with an enticing narrative and awesome pics. Several glowing certs will help, too. Find out who's organizing groups and parties in your area, get to know them, and get yourself invited. You can meet a lot of couples at a meet & greet or a house party. Remember, confident and fun is sexy.

I get the feeling that there are some angry women out there.

That kind of thinking isn't gonna win people over. Stay positive, never talk trash about anybody. Be a pleaser, be romantic, be respectful. Remember you have to connect with her husband, too. If you ever are going to be invited to play, he's going to have to enjoy your company, and want to include you. Good luck!

[screaminggood]

Numbskull---Sorry if I sounded down on you. Your clarification post helped me understand that you're not against the single men, you'd just like them to be a bit more creative about how they approach you and your wife!

[Bama0468]

The ones that still approach my wife and I are by no mean "UNcreative" some even start out polite, it is the spot where the meet might have happened where it gets Blown. Now I have applauded Thrax ( hope I got that right, if not, sorry buddy) from what I have seen thus far he has been very patient with those of us with a negative view, and so far our new fella here seems to be headed the right way as well.

It happens for us when they ask .. nay, nearly demand that we bend/break a rule we have for them. If we as a couple choose to include a single guy again, all we ask is that once the ground rules are laid out, thats it. If we invite you to our bed Yes, we are inviting for our pleasure, and in turn we make sure you are not left out and enjoy yourself, WITHIN the boundries already laid out in the begining.

As for the pleasing women part, I think we all like to please women, and as a married male, I please mine, and so do some other folks as the mood strikes us, but I think that is pretty much standard in the lifestyle, don't you all? I mean Single guys certainly do not have a corner on that market. Lets face it if we suck ( I mean at sex not a BJ ) then we don't get invited back, if you suck long enough or often enough, you don't play at all.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Bama0468

If we as a couple choose to include a single guy again, all we ask is that once the ground rules are laid out, thats it. If we invite you to our bed Yes, we are inviting for our pleasure, and in turn we make sure you are not left out and enjoy yourself, WITHIN the boundries already laid out in the begining.

That sounds fair to me. You two want to be respected, and you intend to respect the single male in return. As has been discussed in another thread, no one is doing a "favor" for some poor soul; it's an experience geared toward the satisfaction of all.

I guess it's that "Golden Rule" thing which many of us forget from time to time, but which is unfortunately ignored by many singles...and couples. This is supposed to be responsible fun, right?

Thrax