Swingers not accepting of single males?

[TNT]

Originally Posted by playboy444

I get a general feeling that Swiners are generally not too friendly towards single males.

Your general feeling is correct. Generally, you will find that most couples aren't into single men. As a single man, your job is to find those who are friendly toward single men and yes...there are lots out there who do enjoy (and some that prefer) single men.

is this because of hubby fear and jealousy or because of feminist misandry?

Well, sometimes it is due to the husband. I've talked to many couples where they state they won't play with single men because He (meaning the husband) has no female to play with. Not sure if it's due to jealousy or fear or just the fact that unless he's getting some strange, she can't.

As far as feminist misandry...well, if it's a MF couple, I don't necessarily see her as hating men...if it's a FF couple, I suppose that could be true.



Teresa

[pervgeeks]

Originally Posted by playboy444

I get a general feeling that Swiners are generally not too friendly towards single males. is this because of hubby fear and jealousy or because of feminist misandry?

When we first signed up on various sites, our mailbox was overrun with them until we blocked them. Given what we were looking then (and are looking for now), it was obvious they never even bothered to read our profile. We do not play with single men, but have since met a few very respectful, nice ones at parties. The ones who are successful are the ones that respect both members of a couple and realize some women just have high sex drives, not that their partners are lacking anything.

I'm a bisexual woman and we got into this because of that. We do fullswap with other couples as I enjoy watching him receive a variety in pleasure as well and since he's strait, a single man isn't going to cut it lol. When I have sex with other men, they most definitely give me pleasure as well, but for us, not having another woman involved as well would be missing a BIG part of the fun for both of us.

To be frank, accusing couples of jealousy because single men aren't part of their preferences is precisely why the decent single men out there have an uphill battle. If you want to play with couples, you have to come to terms that you are just there for sex, they are the ones in love and committed and it is a privilege to be allowed into their private world. Perhaps if you dropped the ego down a notch and have the needed patience, you too would have more success.

[Playful1]

It's attitudes that assume it must be one of those two things that make people wary of single guys.

[Young_Newbies]

I know our problem with single males came from the fact that #1 we werent interested in a MFM threesome....Yet we had TONS of single males contact us on SLS when we first posted our profile. That left a bad taste in our mouth because we specifically stated we were looking for females or couples...and yet we got a lot of single men asking us if "he could be the one".... That made any chance for us to be interested in any male just go down in flames because we got a bad taste in our mouth from it...

[playboy444]

Originally Posted by tribbles

Hi playboy.

Mostly it's cuz there are just too darn many too choose from. Even for couples who like single guys as an addition to the fun, it's worse than a candy store. Plus you can't eat just candy so sometimes you have to have more of a full course meal (a couple or two).

Imagine if you found a web site with 1000 ladies willing to do you (yeah, everyone dream on ) .....and every day another 250 ladies were added. Even the most ambitious guy couldn't fuck 'em all...so most guys would get very picky with so many to choose from and many ladies would be bummed cuz they either never or almost never got picked. Oh and don't forget you might talk to one and like her and then she flakes out and won't meet....after a few of those you would be a bit jaded and impatient with any who even gave a hint of not being real.....

See how tough the competition is for single guys?

Yes, I believe you are quite right.

[playboy444]

Originally Posted by good times

For us at least, it is neither of the things you mention, we like to play with couples and have absolutely no desire to play with singles, male or female.

While we usually are not unfriendly to single males, neither do we go out of our way to be friendly to them. The reason for that is very simple, while not always the case, more often than not, if you are friendly to single males at a club, they automatically assume the wife wants to have sex with them, and they follow you around all night like a lost dog. Since neither she nor I are interested in that, we tend to ignore single males, thus avoiding having to deal with them at all. Even at that, sometimes a single guy will follow us around anyway. At that point I usually have to tell them outright that we aren't interested in him and suggest he move along. An outside observer may see this and think we are being unfriendly to the single guy. But the fact is we didn't go to the club looking to hook up with single guys in the first place, so if one insists on following us around uninvited, their isn't anything else we can do.

That is a good valid explanation of his situation, perhaps even the Majority opinion is of this frame of mind. I would like to hear what more couples think.

[playboy444]

Originally Posted by lustylearning

Like the Goodtimes, we have never sought a single male because we are not looking for one. We enjoy playing with couples, and what threesomes we've had have been within those couples during our playtime with them. So in our case it's not anti-single male, it's just not our thing.

As for group settings, we socialize within a group that seeks the same things we seek, so single males pose odd numbers and unwanted pressures. Luckily our club does not allow single males alone. Single males can come with single female partners, but it's still all about the numbers...

Thank you for your response. I wish I could take a poll on how many couples think like this.

[DragonSlayer774]

I have been in the lifestyle as a single male for the last 4 years . I have been a staff member of an off premise lifestyle club for 3 1/2 years . I handle security so I am able to meet and know almost everyone who attends our parties . Most single males are their own worst enemies . I have never had the acceptance problem , here's why . I NEVER EVER ask for sex or to join in anything , in person or on the internet !!! I only go where I am invited . They know from being around me they can talk flirt or whatever with me and I'm not going to follow them around like a puppy dog . If I am invited to play I DO NOT expect it every time I see them . I just enjoy myself and what happens happens . I know most single men do not have this opportunity and I am very lucky . I dont fault couples for not being interested in singles just like I am not interested in hooking up with a man . If a couples wants a single male the will find one . A couple from our club once told me "single men are a penny a dozen but ones that are respectful and understand their role untill they become a couple too are priceless " This works for me YMMV.

John