What has worked for me.

[stregone22]

First let me say, I've swung first as a couple, now that I'm divorced, as a single guy.
As a couple, we occasionally played with single guys. We used to choose guys who weren't pushy. We would find them by talking with them over drinks at a club or on a rare occasion, through a website. We knew right away if it would work or not.
Of course we ran into A-holes. But we never judged every guy by the idiots.

As a single guy now, I have learned from previous experience. Be friendly, but not pushy. I rarely even introduce myself to couples. I'll sit at the bar at a club and chat with whomever. If a couple is interested, I've found they will come to you.
I think guys need to know, you aren't going to play every night. But if you are friendly and outgoing, when you do play, it will be incredible!
just my 2 cents.

[LFM2]

First off, Welcome to the board!!

I like what's worked for you and I like how you explained what works for you. It all totally makes sense.

As the woman of a couple, we occasionally play with a single man ourself. What's sad is that only one man has passed muster. Why? Probably because he's respectful of us both. I'm sure you understand that MUTUAL respect is a must between a threesome. We really have a special affinity for our single male. He talks to us both and we just seemed to click. Plus, we have no clubs around here. We totally rely on internet and house parties (which are few and far between). We're always looking for more single males to help us out. I hope more heed your advice.

[funbuddy]

As a single guy who has been swinging for a few years, I would like to add something also. For me, I realize that being invited to be with a couple is a privilege, not a right. I appreciate the fact that a couple has asked me to join them, and trusts me to do so. A single male needs to be respectful of the woman (most important), as well as the husband. The husband has to like and trust the single guy, because, after all, he is sharing his wife with you. I also respect a couple's wishes and boundaries, and do not push my limits.

If you are invited to a party, also realize that this is a privilege for you to be there, and don't be pushy or rude to other guests. It does not take any extra effort to be nice and polite to others.

There are lots of good single guys out there. Its like a lot of other things. A few bad ones spoil things for everyone else. I have found that if you follow the above suggestions, you will be "discovered" by other couples looking for an extra guy, and get to know lots of fellow swingers. For the good guys, positive word of mouth about you will spread fast, and couples will find you that way.

[stregone22]

LFM2, I think you make a great point about respecting the male. I know when I was part of a couple many guys would just ignore you. As if I'm going to want my wife to be with someone who doesn't even respect me enough to acknowledge and treat me with respect.

[screaminggood]

You make excellent points. Instead of pushy though, I'd say "needy." The desperation is a huge turn-off in otherwise potential males. Give me a confident guy every time!