single male responds

emanonx · 03-05-2003, 07:38 PM

Let me preface this post by saying I am new to this and I hope everyone will forgive me if I ask what may to some seem obvious.
As a single male that was married and faithful to one woman for almost 20 years, I have several reasons why I am interested in this forum.
First, like most healthy adults males I find the most interesting part of our species the female. So with that said, I would like to say that for a single male on this site I think I’ll have and extremely difficult time actually meeting any one here.
I mean the scrutinies that one would have to go through just to get an email from someone seems sever.
I have read several reply’s to posts that state that the individual was “looking forward to an MFM meeting.” but the rigorous interrogations the single male would be subject to I think would make it unlikely. And this is basically her words, not mine.
I will say for the record that:
1.I like sex
2.I like people and women in particular.
3.I want the woman I’m with to enjoy sex just as much as I do.
4.Swinging for me would be ideal, because I’m not looking for a mate.
5.Sex between two or more people is great, as long as everyone one agrees. (Jealousy sucks)
I know this is a long post but I had to say that not all single males are vermin out to fuck your women because it some game we like to play.
Also I have never had any experience yet in this life style, but I am going to stay with it, at least for now.

OhioCouple · 03-06-2003, 04:18 PM

Emanonx,

You are right, for the single male trying to get into the swinging aspect of life it is very difficult. I have come to somewhat of a conclusion that most swingers are married/committed couples and very few are singles (male or female). There are many that claim to be swinging singles but in actuality are not. They are committed in a relationship that isn't providing them with what they need or desire so they 'turn' themselves into professed swingers and seek it amongst other couples to fulfill their needs.
This is why singles are so much more thoroughly 'screened' (for lack of better words) than other couples.

Since we have never swung with a single man I don't have much to gauge it by, but I can say that we have been looking for a compatible male partner and we do and will continue to screen them pretty thoroughly. We need to be sure that they are not in a committed relationship as we don't want the headaches that could follow from a jealous, outraged spouse or significant other among other things.

I am not sure I follow what you meant about meeting someone on this site. You'll definitely make friends here, but most likely it won't be the kind that you'll end up finding like you will through sites that are strictly geared towards finding compatible partners. This is more of a site where like minded people can come together and discuss issues, (mainly sexual), ask questions and get valuable feedback.

I really feel for all singles and in our case both male and female, as we really scrutinize them more than we would a couple.

Perhaps some of the couples who do entertain singles shed a little more light on what they look for and how the choose their single playmates.

Lori

ciscosv · 03-06-2003, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OhioCouple

I am not sure I follow what you meant about meeting someone on this site. You'll definitely make friends here, but most likely it won't be the kind that you'll end up finding like you will through sites that are strictly geared towards finding compatible partners. This is more of a site where like minded people can come together and discuss issues, (mainly sexual), ask questions and get valuable feedback.

Lori

Ditto.

Flori_DAMAN · 03-07-2003, 07:11 PM

Hell, im a single guy that wouldnt mind getting into the lifestyle for a while, but find the whole thing is getting to be way too much effort for me.

Im torn between finding a female that must go with swinging or just finding a partner for life without that being a factor. I just think Im getting too old to establish myself in a swinging club now. By the time I do I will probably find a woman that loves me anyhow then it would all be for naught. Just too much effort without a real pot of gold at the end of the tunnel for me anymore.

When I was 8 years younger I did ok at swing clubs, but now I don't have the ambition to even try.

Well I have a platonic date tonight anyhow...she has a boyfriend but he ignores her, so she asked me to take her dancing. I am a bonifide swinger for many years (decades even), and always will be. Im just not sure if I will participate anymore.

Rambling john. yall have a good friday night!!

curious24 · 03-08-2003, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN
Hell, im a single guy that wouldnt mind getting into the lifestyle for a while, but find the whole thing is getting to be way too much effort for me.

you know that is so true... that's why i just kind of hang around you know? i mean there are some really nice people and if they want to play with me.. yay! if not no biggie.. but i don't have the time to really seek someone out and find someone who doesn't mind single males..

just too much trouble for me...

emanonx · 03-09-2003, 02:13 PM

The question was; what do I mean by MEETING someone here. I think that would be obvious. I have in away met some people here. Although we have never meet in person I am learning some of the personalities on this site. I am sure that though my writing some has begun to understand me a little more. Aren’t we (Getting-Together) in away when we read others posts. We are in fact having a (Encounter) now I believe.

Like I said at the beginning of this that I am new, and have a lot to learn about this lifestyle. But I have to say that one of the other posters on this site was a swinger for x number of years, but when he and his mate separated the very same people that he had had encounters with suddenly shunned him. I am sure from reading his posts that he is the same person he was after the separation, but his swinger friends saw him as an outsider, if I understand correctly. Why?

If you look at some of the site on the web that promote the swinging lifestyle they ostracize singles. One site that I reviewed was free for couples but for the single Guy you had a certain number of days in which to join (pay) then excommunication.
I see examples of this on virtually on every site.

Flori_DAMAN · 03-13-2003, 02:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by emanonx
The question was; what do I mean by MEETING someone here. I think that would be obvious. I have in away met some people here. Although we have never meet in person I am learning some of the personalities on this site. I am sure that though my writing some has begun to understand me a little more. Aren’t we (Getting-Together) in away when we read others posts. We are in fact having a (Encounter) now I believe.

Like I said at the beginning of this that I am new, and have a lot to learn about this lifestyle. But I have to say that one of the other posters on this site was a swinger for x number of years, but when he and his mate separated the very same people that he had had encounters with suddenly shunned him. I am sure from reading his posts that he is the same person he was after the separation, but his swinger friends saw him as an outsider, if I understand correctly. Why?

If you look at some of the site on the web that promote the swinging lifestyle they ostracize singles. One site that I reviewed was free for couples but for the single Guy you had a certain number of days in which to join (pay) then excommunication.
I see examples of this on virtually on every site.

You will find that this site doesn't charge single males or anyone else. You can be what or who you want to be here. Its all on you.

John.

LIZA · 03-20-2003, 08:09 PM

I think for a single man to try and find a relationship with a single woman swinger is going to be next to impossible

First of all, men outnumber women about 20-1 in swinging

But even if you do find someone who is available, what are the chances you would be compatable?

I think it is far better to look for a relationship with someone FIRST and then IF you are both interested, pursue swinging as a couple. But not asking her on the second date if she will swing with you!

Flori_DAMAN · 03-20-2003, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LIZA
I think for a single man to try and find a relationship with a single woman swinger is going to be next to impossible

First of all, men outnumber women about 20-1 in swinging

But even if you do find someone who is available, what are the chances you would be compatable?

I think it is far better to look for a relationship with someone FIRST and then IF you are both interested, pursue swinging as a couple. But not asking her on the second date if she will swing with you!

Oh hi LIZA,

I'm not sure about that last sentence but I agree wholeheartedly with your thoughts.

John

LIZA · 03-22-2003, 12:07 AM

I guess my point is......do you want to be in a loving relationship and MAYBE swing? Or do you want to be one of many guys vying for a single fem. swinger and IF you find her, maybe have a relationship based on nothing but swinging??

curious24 · 03-22-2003, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LIZA
I guess my point is......do you want to be in a loving relationship and MAYBE swing? Or do you want to be one of many guys vying for a single fem. swinger and IF you find her, maybe have a relationship based on nothing but swinging??

i can tell you right now.. if i meet my wife and she doesn't want to swing.. i won't swing.. if she does.. well i still have to have my time with her first (i don't know how long that will be) but i'm definately not going to share her or myself until i get to be with her first

naughty A · 03-22-2003, 03:15 PM

as a couple... we have enjoyed the MFM threesome with straight guys a number of times but after our last disasterous experience have sworn it off.

my husband didn't appreciate getting hit on by the "straight?" guy we were with but was willing to write it off

but the experience that called the put a halt to fun and games was yet another cheater

I realize that not all guys are the same and my apologies to the rest of you but how can you SUCCESSFULLY screen out the "cheaters." Guys who will tell you they are single when they are actually married or have a S/O.

Getting a call from some guy's live in girlfriend was not my idea of fun.

We are in this to have fun and are not out to let OUR fun cause someone else Heartache. I don't appreciate being lied to - and yes I'm still bitter.

This is my opinion as to why the swinging community discriminates against single guys... it's why I do.

I keep surfing this board hoping to see some suggestion for a foolproof means of finding the "true" single guy.

Naughty A.

Flori_DAMAN · 03-22-2003, 03:27 PM

LIZA,

Personally I agree with you. Having been in the lifestyle for so long I have had my fair share of fun and whether my next mate swings or not is of little importance. I never started any relationship with the idea of swinging as a priority, and with my last partner we swung fairly infrequently, often many months in between even going to clubs and usually when we went we just went for the titillating sexually free atmosphere, more times that not just ending up either soft swinging or not swinging at all.

John.

Flori_DAMAN · 03-22-2003, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by naughty A

I keep surfing this board hoping to see some suggestion for a foolproof means of finding the "true" single guy.

Naughty A.

The swinging cheating honest lying single married male rears his ugly head again.

The only foolproof way is to get fairly involved with the guy. You need to be able to call his residence unnanounced and get to know him. Of course it is easier to just find someone that you personally know is single anyhow. Club members are usually in tune with guys but it isn't hard to fool lots of people if you are a con. I don't see how married guys can just dissapear on weekend nights but I guess if they travel for work they can do it.

I have sometimes met couples that were BOTH cheating at a club or met me (as a couple couple meeting). I also recall a woman that used to show up at the club on Saturday night around 11pm. Within a few minutes she was involved with anyone that wanted to play with her. It was known that she was married, but people seemed to think it was humorous.

Your post re-inforces the fact that the swinging community will not for the most part tolerate lying cheating guys, but lets extend that to all people. I have always thought that if you want a threesome and don't want to worry about this then just take turns with threesomes with a couple you like. No one needs to be left out but there is always time for various activities during the course of the evening.

John

naughty A · 03-22-2003, 03:53 PM

John - lol

we usually end up with the 4 some now instead anyway but ... hey sometimes I love being the centre of attention - you know and I don't feel comfortable when someone, anyone gets left out.

and speaking of strange people you meet a swingers club I once met a couple that was there on their very first date. It was HIS membership but his usual swing partner was busy because her HUSBAND?? was in town, so he asked a co-worker if she wanted to check it out??? we never went back to that club.

Just because a club lets them in doesn't mean I would choose them as potential partners - that is the point of talking to them at a dance before you get together.

love your posts, btw Naughty A.

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03-05-2003, 07:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
emanonx Registered Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 4 Location: Hamilton Ohio Status: single/male	single male responds Let me preface this post by saying I am new to this and I hope everyone will forgive me if I ask what may to some seem obvious. As a single male that was married and faithful to one woman for almost 20 years, I have several reasons why I am interested in this forum. First, like most healthy adults males I find the most interesting part of our species the female. So with that said, I would like to say that for a single male on this site I think I’ll have and extremely difficult time actually meeting any one here. I mean the scrutinies that one would have to go through just to get an email from someone seems sever. I have read several reply’s to posts that state that the individual was “looking forward to an MFM meeting.” but the rigorous interrogations the single male would be subject to I think would make it unlikely. And this is basically her words, not mine. I will say for the record that: 1.I like sex 2.I like people and women in particular. 3.I want the woman I’m with to enjoy sex just as much as I do. 4.Swinging for me would be ideal, because I’m not looking for a mate. 5.Sex between two or more people is great, as long as everyone one agrees. (Jealousy sucks) I know this is a long post but I had to say that not all single males are vermin out to fuck your women because it some game we like to play. Also I have never had any experience yet in this life style, but I am going to stay with it, at least for now.

03-06-2003, 04:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	Emanonx, You are right, for the single male trying to get into the swinging aspect of life it is very difficult. I have come to somewhat of a conclusion that most swingers are married/committed couples and very few are singles (male or female). There are many that claim to be swinging singles but in actuality are not. They are committed in a relationship that isn't providing them with what they need or desire so they 'turn' themselves into professed swingers and seek it amongst other couples to fulfill their needs. This is why singles are so much more thoroughly 'screened' (for lack of better words) than other couples. Since we have never swung with a single man I don't have much to gauge it by, but I can say that we have been looking for a compatible male partner and we do and will continue to screen them pretty thoroughly. We need to be sure that they are not in a committed relationship as we don't want the headaches that could follow from a jealous, outraged spouse or significant other among other things. I am not sure I follow what you meant about meeting someone on this site. You'll definitely make friends here, but most likely it won't be the kind that you'll end up finding like you will through sites that are strictly geared towards finding compatible partners. This is more of a site where like minded people can come together and discuss issues, (mainly sexual), ask questions and get valuable feedback. I really feel for all singles and in our case both male and female, as we really scrutinize them more than we would a couple. Perhaps some of the couples who do entertain singles shed a little more light on what they look for and how the choose their single playmates. Lori
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

03-22-2003, 03:15 PM	#12 (permalink)
naughty A Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 997 Location: windsor ontario Status: couple - female half	my 2 cents on single guys as a couple... we have enjoyed the MFM threesome with straight guys a number of times but after our last disasterous experience have sworn it off. my husband didn't appreciate getting hit on by the "straight?" guy we were with but was willing to write it off but the experience that called the put a halt to fun and games was yet another cheater I realize that not all guys are the same and my apologies to the rest of you but how can you SUCCESSFULLY screen out the "cheaters." Guys who will tell you they are single when they are actually married or have a S/O. Getting a call from some guy's live in girlfriend was not my idea of fun. We are in this to have fun and are not out to let OUR fun cause someone else Heartache. I don't appreciate being lied to - and yes I'm still bitter. This is my opinion as to why the swinging community discriminates against single guys... it's why I do. I keep surfing this board hoping to see some suggestion for a foolproof means of finding the "true" single guy. Naughty A.

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03-07-2003, 07:11 PM	#4 (permalink)
Flori_DAMAN Previously of MichiganCouple Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,100 Location: Vero Beach Florida Status: Single Male	Hell, im a single guy that wouldnt mind getting into the lifestyle for a while, but find the whole thing is getting to be way too much effort for me. Im torn between finding a female that must go with swinging or just finding a partner for life without that being a factor. I just think Im getting too old to establish myself in a swinging club now. By the time I do I will probably find a woman that loves me anyhow then it would all be for naught. Just too much effort without a real pot of gold at the end of the tunnel for me anymore. When I was 8 years younger I did ok at swing clubs, but now I don't have the ambition to even try. Well I have a platonic date tonight anyhow...she has a boyfriend but he ignores her, so she asked me to take her dancing. I am a bonifide swinger for many years (decades even), and always will be. Im just not sure if I will participate anymore. Rambling john. yall have a good friday night!!

03-09-2003, 02:13 PM	#6 (permalink)
emanonx Registered Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 4 Location: Hamilton Ohio Status: single/male	The question was; what do I mean by MEETING someone here. I think that would be obvious. I have in away met some people here. Although we have never meet in person I am learning some of the personalities on this site. I am sure that though my writing some has begun to understand me a little more. Aren’t we (Getting-Together) in away when we read others posts. We are in fact having a (Encounter) now I believe. Like I said at the beginning of this that I am new, and have a lot to learn about this lifestyle. But I have to say that one of the other posters on this site was a swinger for x number of years, but when he and his mate separated the very same people that he had had encounters with suddenly shunned him. I am sure from reading his posts that he is the same person he was after the separation, but his swinger friends saw him as an outsider, if I understand correctly. Why? If you look at some of the site on the web that promote the swinging lifestyle they ostracize singles. One site that I reviewed was free for couples but for the single Guy you had a certain number of days in which to join (pay) then excommunication. I see examples of this on virtually on every site.

03-20-2003, 08:09 PM	#8 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	I think for a single man to try and find a relationship with a single woman swinger is going to be next to impossible First of all, men outnumber women about 20-1 in swinging But even if you do find someone who is available, what are the chances you would be compatable? I think it is far better to look for a relationship with someone FIRST and then IF you are both interested, pursue swinging as a couple. But not asking her on the second date if she will swing with you!

03-22-2003, 12:07 AM	#10 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	I guess my point is......do you want to be in a loving relationship and MAYBE swing? Or do you want to be one of many guys vying for a single fem. swinger and IF you find her, maybe have a relationship based on nothing but swinging??

03-22-2003, 03:27 PM	#13 (permalink)
Flori_DAMAN Previously of MichiganCouple Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,100 Location: Vero Beach Florida Status: Single Male	LIZA, Personally I agree with you. Having been in the lifestyle for so long I have had my fair share of fun and whether my next mate swings or not is of little importance. I never started any relationship with the idea of swinging as a priority, and with my last partner we swung fairly infrequently, often many months in between even going to clubs and usually when we went we just went for the titillating sexually free atmosphere, more times that not just ending up either soft swinging or not swinging at all. John.

03-22-2003, 03:53 PM	#15 (permalink)
naughty A Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 997 Location: windsor ontario Status: couple - female half	John - lol we usually end up with the 4 some now instead anyway but ... hey sometimes I love being the centre of attention - you know and I don't feel comfortable when someone, anyone gets left out. and speaking of strange people you meet a swingers club I once met a couple that was there on their very first date. It was HIS membership but his usual swing partner was busy because her HUSBAND?? was in town, so he asked a co-worker if she wanted to check it out??? we never went back to that club. Just because a club lets them in doesn't mean I would choose them as potential partners - that is the point of talking to them at a dance before you get together. love your posts, btw Naughty A.

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