Singles "at your service"

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

Professional single? Just make sure he knows it is about ya'll and he is along for the ride.

Originally Posted by SCcpl40

When we meet one in public, if he can hold an intelligent conversation and think with the head on his shoulders, he's got a chance, and it's us, doing him a favor.

rpu3's reply to SCcpl40:

Originally Posted by rpu3

I hate global generalizations against ANY group (thus, I usually say something when the whole "single men suck" theme pops up monthly). But I really dislike the superiority exhibited at times by some couples as it relates to single men. This whole concept of "doing him a favor" is just B.S. IMO. I don't want a single or married guy doing me a "favor" when it comes to sex, and I respect other humans enough to not insult them by doing them a "favor". IMO, it's almost demeaning to me to be putting out as a favor instead as a mutually enjoyable experience. The "favor" mentality is just arrogant, IMO, as if I/we are somehow better and we are just generously donating our time and sexuality to help 'em out? I don't think so.

rpu3's comments sum up my thoughts on single swingers - whether men or women - and how I've seen too many couples carry an attitude of superiority to them, as if the singles are there for couples to use, get what they want out of them, and give no thought to sex being an exchange between individuals who offer each other mutual respect.

Couples, would you play with another couple if you knew they thought they were "doing you a favor" by playing with you? Would you play with them if it was "all about them" and they expected you to have only their desires in mind without any consideration for yours?

I don't think so.

Put yourself in the shoes of a single, even though you would never play as a single, try to imagine you were a single swinger. Would you want to be treated with any less respect and consideration as a single than you now expect as a couple?

If single swingers disappoint so many couples I have got to wonder if it is because couples expect singles to accept less from swinging than couples would ever accept for themselves.

LM

[havefuninsun]

Makes you wonder if singles talk about couples as much as couples talk about singles, doesn't it?

[Ellyanne77]

I totally agree with the comments above, although I would say that the "doing them a favor" seems to be more geared toward single men than single women. As if single men can't get laid in the vanilla world or something. I truthfully don't know why single men subject themselves to the scrutiny that they receive from what I have seen in this lifestyle. If I was single and someone spoke or treated me as some kind of "sub-citizen", I would tell them to take long walk off a short pier.

[Spoomonkey]

I've had single men tell me that:

a. they would never share their wife because when they find their "someone special" they want something more "traditional" - "but enough of that, when do I get to play with Mrs Spoo?"
b. they hope I'm okay with the fact that they are going to be better than me in bed.
c. the only reason I don't have to worry is because they don't want a relationship. Otherwise...

I've never had a married man say anything nearly as asinine.

It is true - I have met married assholes just as I have met single assholes. One doesn't really out number the other. But the simple truth is there are single men out there who have a "hired gun" mentality and actually think that THEY are the ones doing the favor.

I don't think anyone is doing anyone any favors, but respect flows both ways. When we find that, we acknowledge it. When we don't, we aren't ashamed to point it out.

There are definitely some single men who approach swinging (and my wife) with the ham-handed lack of respect of a smash-and-grab thief. The fact that those "bad apples" have colored the opinions of swinging couples is no surprise.

Spoomonkey

[fun4Ds]

I know I try to be respectable in every way and maybe I am missing the point ?

But as a guy, that is asked to have sex, to do someone a favor. I'm honestly thinking... Thats a good enough reason for me.

I mean you know, I feel an obligation to help others, what can I say ?

I would feel bad without a "thank you"..... Well, I have feelings too.

[lustylearning]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

they hope I'm okay with the fact that they are going to be better than me in bed.

Someone actually said this to you? Did you answer, "Well, yeah, you being better than me isn't a problem. Your stupidity, however, could be an issue..."?

Good grief.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by lustylearning

Someone actually said this to you? Did you answer, "Well, yeah, you being better than me isn't a problem. Your stupidity, however, could be an issue..."?

Yes. My reply was along the lines of, "I'm sure you won't be."

Needless to say our friendship with him lasted until I was able to get the check.

Spoomonkey

[TNT]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

If single swingers disappoint so many couples I have got to wonder if it is because couples expect singles to accept less from swinging than couples would ever accept for themselves.

LM

I think you hit the nail on the head with that statement.

As most on here know, Ted and I love single men. We have never had the problems with them that others report they do. The reason we think we don't have problems is because we treat single men just like we treat couples...with respect. We don't expect them to accept less than what we do. We want them to have just as much fun playing with us as we do playing with them.

We have often talked about why other couples seem to have so many problems with single men and honestly, we think it's more the couples fault than the single man's. Couples treat them badly therefore they act badly. If you treat someone with respect, you get respect returned.

It's really quite simple and I believe I've posted the following before.

For single men: Don't contact couples that aren't looking for single men.

For couples: If you're contacted by a single man and they're not your thing, a polite "No thanks" is all it takes...if you're still bothered by them there is always the "delete"," ignore" and "block" features...use them.


Teresa

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Couples, would you play with another couple if you knew they thought they were "doing you a favor" by playing with you? Would you play with them if it was "all about them" and they expected you to have only their desires in mind without any consideration for yours?

LM

Mr LFM and I have a single man that we play with quite often. Believe me, he's doing us no favor. We're not doing a favor for him either. He's a wonderful man whose company we enjoy immensely. Believe me, we've had other single males contact us for play, but in these parts, they're usually married. We have absolutely NOTHING against single males and they have their niche in this lifestyle, just like us couples do.

I don't like the thought of someone thinking they're doing us a favor by playing with us for the night or vice-versa. We're not doing our single man a favor by playing with him. It's a mutual respect we have for each other and we're damn grateful that he considers us play friends.

[Mr. Sweet]

Originally Posted by LFM2

I don't like the thought of someone thinking they're doing us a favor by playing with us for the night or vice-versa. We're not doing our single man a favor by playing with him. It's a mutual respect we have for each other and we're damn grateful that he considers us play friends.

AMEN!!!

If you are going into any swinging situation where you think you're doing anyone a favor......you seemed doomed to "DRAMA" to me!!!

************************************************** *********

However, where's Mrs. Spoo.....I'm sure I can do her the favor of not leaving purple fur all over the place

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by TNT

I think you hit the nail on the head with that statement.

As most on here know, Ted and I love single men. We have never had the problems with them that others report they do. The reason we think we don't have problems is because we treat single men just like we treat couples...with respect. We don't expect them to accept less than what we do. We want them to have just as much fun playing with us as we do playing with them.

We have often talked about why other couples seem to have so many problems with single men and honestly, we think it's more the couples fault than the single man's. Couples treat them badly therefore they act badly. If you treat someone with respect, you get respect returned.

It's really quite simple and I believe I've posted the following before.

For single men: Don't contact couples that aren't looking for single men.

For couples: If you're contacted by a single man and they're not your thing, a polite "No thanks" is all it takes...if you're still bothered by them there is always the "delete"," ignore" and "block" features...use them.


Teresa

I have to speak up here

Maybe I am lost on this favor term or idea. We are like TNT, we haven't had the bad experience with a single males either. We are thinking because we were so selective in choosing the males or females for that matter we have played with. The disrespectful favor hasn't happened. We have seen and heard disrespectful comments from possible playmates like Spoomonkey related too. But that was it, we just wouldn't have pursued things farther. That would have made them, not our cup of tea. This also goes with single females we might have played with.

But the ones we have played with, everything has been on a respectable level.

We have had playmates that have actually changed their schedule and canceled a flight once, just to spend the evening with us.

If thats not a favor, what is it then ?

We have playmates that we have asked for a special 3 some, and returned the favor for a birthday fantasy wish. Male and female, if we ask for something and they carry out a request, If its not a favor in some way.

What would it be called ? Doing us the honor or having the privilage ?

Am I missing something here ?

[rpu3]

Maybe I am lost on this favor term or idea.

There is more than one definition of favor. My dictionary has eight definitions of the generic word "favor".

The "favor" I referred to in the post that LikeMinds quoted was based on the definition of an act performed from a position of superiority.

Other favors may fall into the definition of an act of kindness or generosity.

I may do favors especially in a friends/family context. But I do not approach the single men from a position of superiority in granting them my/our favor. There's no "favor" to be had if all parties have a mutual understanding and respect to the other parties in these interactions.