Singles, in or out of the lifestyle

[SCcpl40]

If we decide to add a single to the mix, finding a suitable candidates should have certain qualities. Since the lifestyle is about providing variety, the singles we feel should offer more that what's the norm at home. We've met some in the lifestyle, but the land of opportunity for us, is in the real world.

To seduce and introduce a single into our bedroom far out exceeds someone who's been there done that attitude.

Remember who's the one who will benefit the most, the single guy for her or the single woman for him or the both of you. (We know we're excluding bi couples, sorry.) Let them do the shopping, a regular club is like a supermarket, a smorgasbord of choices.

[Ellyanne77]

I could not agree with you more. If and when we decide to do the single thing, it will most likely be with someone we find in the vanilla world. I think that is what the single guys on the swing sites don't understand when they start complaining. If I want a single guy, why wouldn't I go get one of the guys from the gym that look like GQ cover models. I can almost assure you that the good looking vanilla guys have had as much sex as the out of shape guy with grass stains on his jeans that try and email us on the swing sites. So those who say vanilla singles might not be as respectful or they might not have the maturity or experience to pull off a successful threesome....Yeahh we just don't buy that.

[TNT]

Having done the "single thing" for over eight years now...quite successfully I might add, we tend to disagree.

Finding a single man in the vanilla world to fuck is relatively easy...finding one that understands the intricacies of what it takes to have a successful threesome, not so easy. They're all for it until they realize that there's a husband involved and that he has to perform in front of and with that husband as a tandem team.

Those single men who are experienced in swinging understand what it takes.

Have we ever brought a vanilla over to the dark side? Yep, a couple, but they were friends that we had known for years. They understood the relationship Ted and I have and respected it. The average vanilla single man won't understand the relationship a swinging couple has...they see a man that can't satisfy his wife, so she has to go looking for it somewhere else.


In our experience, we've found that those couples who say they are looking for a good single man but can't find one are looking for perfection...they have a list of criteria so long that the single man has to meet, there's no way he could ever measure up. Therefore, the couple finds fault with all of them.

There are GREAT single men in swinging, a couple just has to open themselves up enough to give them a chance.


Teresa

[VegasLee]

I have to agree with TNT on this one.

Yes, we have also converted a few from the "other side" into the swinging world but found you have to be very careful in doing so.

Most of the singles that are not already in the swinging world are not sure how to handle things. We have also found that those that are not into swinging tend to get attached. Not something anyone wants.

We also have the attitude that they are not gaining anymore benefit from the experience then we are or why would we be doing this. We are no more special then they are.

[Playful1]

I think by focusing on bringing in singles from the "vanilla" side, you are looking for serious drama.

You can actually, with some patience, find a nice variety of both single men and women who are already in this.

Now, if the real reason you are looking to convert someone is the thrill of it, well, I have my thoughts on that, but so be it.

Just be forewarned, while most people in swinging already know the rules, people who aren't, generally don't. so be prepared for that.

[des1re06]

We prefer meeting singles already experienced in the lifestyle.

Mrs. D

[JustAskJulie]

I've had fun in the past both converting vanilla guys (if you can call it that... since I have no idea whether that was their one and only experience) and with experienced single male swingers. What I found was just what was said above... the vanilla single guys = more drama. They may have a fantasy in their head that they can handle 2 guys on one girl, but in the end they don't really like to share. When i had my gangbang I actually had a couple of guys walk out because they really couldn't handle the idea of being in the same room with other naked men... let alone up on the same girl. I've also dealt with situations where they were fine and dandy when it was just me, but as soon as they were physically presented with the idea that I actually did have a husband (I played alone occasionally when married to my ex), they freaked out.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by SCcpl40

We've met some in the lifestyle, but the land of opportunity for us, is in the real world.

SCcpl40, Could tell a little more info on how you have had the opportunity to find these singles ?

We thought about this long ago before this thread. We have some insight from ALURAS about how to start a conversation with those that aren't in the lifestyle and really don't know much about this scenario.

I know, perhaps a vanilla bar . But I'm thinking you have a different resource. Could you add a little more insight about where or how, you find these singles ?

Whats you secrete, other than being fantastically HOT ?

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

When i had my gangbang I actually had a couple of guys walk out because they really couldn't handle the idea of being in the same room with other naked men... let alone up on the same girl.

Speaking from the male perspective...I don't find gangbangs a turn on, even when the woman is semi-hot. It's not "being in the same room with other naked men" that turns me off to GB's, I'm just not interested in standing around stroking my cock and making small talk with them while I wait my turn for something everybody else has already had.

I know there are a lot of desperate guys out there, but there are also quite a few who don't believe in "the pussy almighty" In other words, they won't put up with a lot of crap or allow themselves to get into weird situations just to get laid.

Maybe the guys that "walked out" on you just had better things to do with their time than wait in line for a piece of ass?

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2

Maybe the guys that "walked out" on you just had better things to do with their time than wait in line for a piece of ass?

And maybe, if they were smart guys, they would have thought of that before getting in line.

Mr NumbskullsX2 ~

I know that you and Mrs Numb both post on the Board, and often I don't know who is posting, but I'd like to.

Just a thought, since you're both active on the Board, maybe you would each consider having your own profiles on SB?...or sign your posts so I know whose mind is fascinating me.

LM

[Ellyanne77]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

And maybe, if they were smart guys, they would have thought of that before getting in line.

Mr NumbskullsX2 ~

I know that you and Mrs Numb both post on the Board, and often I don't know who is posting, but I'd like to.

Just a thought, since you're both active on the Board, maybe you would each consider having your own profiles on SB?...or sign your posts so I know whose mind is fascinating me.

LM

That was the most kind and gentle way I have ever seen some subconciously say that hey "sometimes your posts are really offensive"

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by Ellyanne77

That was the most kind and gentle way I have ever seen some subconciously say that hey "sometimes your posts are really offensive"

Ellyanne~

I hate to disappoint you, but there was nothing "subconscious" about it, and no embedded meaning.

I've never been offended by either Mr or Mrs NumbskullsX2's posts. Wanting to know which post is his or hers interests me. When a couple is active on the Board I appreciate knowing which is posting. If they prefer not to make that known, I could never be offended by their decision.

If people read the Board long enough eventually they'll find a few posts/members that rub them the wrong way, me included.

I try to look beyond people's choice of words, beyond the way people say things, and look for the bigger picture - the meaning.

If we all expressed ourselves in the same way, it'd be boring around here.

LM

[cubnamy1995]

Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2

Speaking from the male perspective...I don't find gangbangs a turn on, even when the woman is semi-hot. It's not "being in the same room with other naked men" that turns me off to GB's, I'm just not interested in standing around stroking my cock and making small talk with them while I wait my turn for something everybody else has already had.

As is your right. I can understand that.

Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2

I know there are a lot of desperate guys out there, but there are also quite a few who don't believe in "the pussy almighty" In other words, they won't put up with a lot of crap or allow themselves to get into weird situations just to get laid.

I know you catch a lot of crap about some of the things you say, and while I may not agree very often with your POV, I respect it, because frankly, there are times I do agree with you and don't have the balls to admit it. I love the women of this lifestyle, and respect them to no end. I have learned a lot from all of them about women. But at the end of the day, I'm a dude, and chicks confuse the shit out of me. Especially the great one I'm married to.

While I love the hell out of the sex I get to enjoy, that doesn't mean that I have to have it so bad that I would venture into a situation I was uncomfortable with to get it.

Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2

Maybe the guys that "walked out" on you just had better things to do with their time than wait in line for a piece of ass?

Well, I'm not going to touch that one. But you did get me thinking about a new thread. Thanks for your input.

[pleasantinok]

We enjoy MFMs, and believe that an experienced guy is a better choice than a "vanilla". We personally don't know any vanilla guys that could handle the concept of a MFM, but there has to some out there, we just don't want to train them.

This question is for TNT, way back at the top of this thread. We have a hard time finding a single guy, is it because we are asking for too much? We prefer him to be

(a) non-smoking,
(b) be taller than my wife's 5'7", but not too tall,
(c) 200 pounds or less, she doesn't like them heavy,
(d) be able to write and converse with some intelligence,
(e) respect our relationship.

Non-smoking and under 200lbs eliminates 80% of the guys in Oklahoma.

Are we too picky?

Mr. Pleasant

[TNT]

Originally Posted by pleasantinok

This question is for TNT, way back at the top of this thread. We have a hard time finding a single guy, is it because we are asking for too much? We prefer him to be

(a) non-smoking,
(b) be taller than my wife's 5'7", but not too tall,
(c) 200 pounds or less, she doesn't like them heavy,
(d) be able to write and converse with some intelligence,
(e) respect our relationship.

Non-smoking and under 200lbs eliminates 80% of the guys in Oklahoma.

Are we too picky?

Mr. Pleasant

No, what you're asking for is what most couples look for in single men.

I, personally, might reconsider the weight limit. I know a lot of men who are over 5'7" that weigh more than 200 pounds and they are not heavy/fat looking. Weight is a funny thing, everyone carries their weight differently; what 200 lbs on one person looks like, will look different on someone else...even if they are the same height.

If you've eliminated 80% of the pool you would pull from already, I can see where it would get difficult to find someone.

How are you looking for single men? Are you just using ad sites or are you also going to clubs/socials/parties? Are you making initial contact or are you waiting for the single men to contact you? If they are contacting you, how are you treating them? Are you giving them a chance, i.e. meeting them for face to face conversation or are you just relying on conversations through e-mail/chat?

I know that's a lot of questions but with a bit more information, I'm hoping to help you out and , I took a look at your SLS profile and honestly I can't believe that you don't have 100s of single men knocking on your door.


Teresa