Singles, in or out of the lifestyle

[pleasantinok]

TNT asks..."How are you looking for single men? Are you just using ad sites or are you also going to clubs/socials/parties? Are you making initial contact or are you waiting for the single men to contact you? If they are contacting you, how are you treating them? Are you giving them a chance, i.e. meeting them for face to face conversation or are you just relying on conversations through e-mail/chat?"

We mostly use the ad sites, we can't get to the socials as much anymore. We make initial contact, as well as get contacted. It's amazing how many smokers will contact you when your profile states a preference for non-smokers. The ones we like, we give a chance. We try for a phone call after just a few emails. We treat them well, we believe. We never play on the first meet, that may be a handicap. But if we meet a second time, there is a very good chance of a happy ending. A few have backed out after the first meet, maybe due to them not liking the idea of me being right next to them helping him ravish my wife.

I hate to ask my wife to change her taste in men. I think if more single guys would post pictures that would help. A full body shot gives us more of an idea that just height and weight measurements.

Maybe we are just having a run of bad luck. Perhaps 2008 will be our year.

And thanks TNT, we've always admired your attitude.

Mr. Pleasant

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by TNT

Finding a single man in the vanilla world to fuck is relatively easy...finding one that understands the intricacies of what it takes to have a successful threesome, not so easy. They're all for it until they realize that there's a husband involved and that he has to perform in front of and with that husband as a tandem team.

Teresa

I couldn't have said this better. In our two and half years (we're babies in the swinging world) of swinging, we've found ONE male (who was our first single and we were his first couple) who fits this description. I can't believe how well we all get along. Other singles we've met are either men who are looking to cheat on their wives, or men who thought they could get me alone and maybe Dave could be busy that night.

I think I got off topic here... Sorry!

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2

Speaking from the male perspective...I don't find gangbangs a turn on, even when the woman is semi-hot. It's not "being in the same room with other naked men" that turns me off to GB's, I'm just not interested in standing around stroking my cock and making small talk with them while I wait my turn for something everybody else has already had.

I know there are a lot of desperate guys out there, but there are also quite a few who don't believe in "the pussy almighty" In other words, they won't put up with a lot of crap or allow themselves to get into weird situations just to get laid.

Maybe the guys that "walked out" on you just had better things to do with their time than wait in line for a piece of ass?

They chose to be there, knowing what they were going there for... and for that matter requested to be there. I don't look at gangbangs as just a bunch of guys servicing a girl while she lays there and does nothing. If I'm in a gangbang I'm taking on as many guys as I can at one time... and they are all welcome to get in there and do whatever they can rather than "wait around stroking their cocks". If they had better things to do that's great, I still had a great time without them.

My point was in regards to this thread and that several of the guys who showed up claimed they WANTED to do these things but when they were put in the situation where they actually could, they couldn't live up to their OWN fantasies. Those were vanilla guys. The guys who had had experience previously that showed up, knew what to expect and could handle it.

What was your point?

[two42lovers]

Yes - in our experience the vast majority of vanilla guys can't perform sexually in swing situations. Many would be glad to have 1-on-1 sex, but MFM or gang bangs not so much... They don't have a clue about swinging, don't know the rules, don't even accept the idea of rules, don't know what to do, don't know how to act. When we look for guys to join us for a threeway, we look for experienced guys who have glowing certs, not vanilla wannabees.

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

My point was in regards to this thread and that several of the guys who showed up claimed they WANTED to do these things but when they were put in the situation where they actually could, they couldn't live up to their OWN fantasies. Those were vanilla guys. The guys who had had experience previously that showed up, knew what to expect and could handle it.

What was your point?

My point was that I agree with you, except when you say that they can't live up to their own fantasies "because they're vanilla guys" I doubt anybody reading this considers themselves "vanilla" but I'm sure we've all had fantasies that seemed like good ideas at the time, but weren't. I think when these guys (the ones who walked out on your GB) actually became a part of yours, they realized it wasn't something they wanted to participate in.

Haven't you ever started doing something with someone, then changed your mind? I know I have.

Yes LM, "they should have known that before they agreed to do it", but how would a person know they didn't care for GB's until they'd been a part of one?

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Mr NumbskullsX2 ~

I know that you and Mrs Numb both post on the Board, and often I don't know who is posting, but I'd like to.

It all depends on who's takin' care of Momma. Right now, we're split between 3 jobs and 2 houses 80 miles apart while we deal with some health issues in our family. You're getting the M half tonight.

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Just a thought, since you're both active on the Board, maybe you would each consider having your own profiles on SB?...or sign your posts so I know whose mind is fascinating me.

We (I, actually) insist on sharing online chats, communications, postings and whatnot. So having his-and-hers accounts just adds another layer of complication to our limited ability to participate in things like this. If we ever get back into meeting new people, etc, we'll consider it. But thanks for the suggestion!

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by SCcpl40

If we decide to add a single to the mix, finding a suitable candidates should have certain qualities. Since the lifestyle is about providing variety, the singles we feel should offer more that what's the norm at home.

As a single male, I can offer the female in an MFM something different (although still pleasureable, I hope) than she has with her regular partner. He and I might have some similarities, but obviously we're not going to be physically the same, or have the same technique, experience, etc. So I'm curious to know what you mean by a single "offering more than what's the norm at home." That conjures up images of the single being more endowed than the male of the couple, or having more stamina, maybe, but I get the impression that's not what you mean. Or does it?

In your eyes, does "variety" always equal "more" (however you define it) in your encounters with singles? And do you expect the same concept of "more" from couples? Could you please explain what you mean by that phrase?

Originally Posted by SCcpl40

Remember who's the one who will benefit the most, the single guy for her or the single woman for him or the both of you.

And do you mean here that a single guy (for her) "benefits" more than the female of a couple would in an MFM? If that's what you mean, I'm wondering how that could be, if both the single male and the couple are interested in and seek to provide a pleasureable experience for all. Or isn't that what you mean here? Could you please expand on that also?

Just looking for clarification. Thanks.

Thrax (Unique...just like everyone else.)