where do i start?

[bbouvier]

i'm a single bi female & while i've been interested in the swinging lifestyle for years (even before i was single) i've never 'taken the plunge' and don't really know how to go about it. and i'm not new to the 'bi' scene though. i love ladies and i love men. i love people. what's most important to me in a partner is chemistry, not whatever parts they have. whatever they're parts are, if i like the person, they are just tools to make them feel good. ok, i deviated.

back to point, my life is kinda hectic these days & even if it wasn't i would have no one to go with to a club & i don't really know people in the lifestyle. i have no idea how to go about meeting people. any suggestions?

swinging is seriously something i've thought about for a long time. and i get that its not 'technically' swinging when you're single, but i feel more interested in swinging couples than vanilla boys. i feel that a swinging couple would be more in tune with their sexuality & exploring it more and with a more like mind to mine. if that makes sense.

i've been reading on these boards & have found much help in the posts of those more experienced than i to this lifestyle. everyone seems honest & open in their posts & i was hoping to get a bit more personalized advice for how to go about this. most pointedly how to meet others minus a club & swinger friends.

thanks in advance

[mosmis84]

Welcome! I am also a single female in the lifestyle, nice to meet you!

[bbouvier]

Originally Posted by mosmis84

Welcome! I am also a single female in the lifestyle, nice to meet you!

well hey there mosmis! thanks for the welcome

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by bbouvier

i'm a single bi female

How YOU doin'?


Seriously though, you have a couple choices I can think of off hand as far as meeting folks.
1. Online sites such as swinglifestyle.com.
2. Look for "Meet & Greets" that a local group or club may be hosting.


You are probably already aware that the SBF is highly sought after, so using one of these methods will probably be productive.

There are some single ladies on the board that can give you more tried and tested methods.

Best of luck to you!

[Dynamar]

Welcome to the board, bbouvier!

You might check around on which is the most popular site in your area. I am on swinglifestyle and swappernet. I don't know which is more populated with Atlanta-area folks, although I have conversed with people from Atlanta on swappernet, which is the better site in the Midwest, where I live.

I can appreciate your desire to meet up with quality couples, since that's the attitude I first came into the lifestyle with. A warning however... people (i.e., couples) talk about single fems being flaky and strange and insecure. In my experience couples are exactly the same way. Rarely do they even follow through past their initial email. So unless your stars are perfectly aligned, plan on doing most of the work in contacting, "courting" them and keeping the lines of communication open. I just decided that was not going to be me... I don't chase, and never want to be perceived as a 'pushy single.'

The reality is I have met a few couples, and I have enjoyed playing with some as well, but I've had much more luck (and hence, much more fun!) meeting up with single men, either solo or in tandem for some fun MFMs. I'm also a member of a swappernet group with some great single females who've become friends, confidants and wing-women

And for the record, you are or at least can be a swinger as a single... and don't let anybody tell you differently!

Good luck in your adventures!

[ncmd_couple]

Bbouvier,

I know a single Bi lady, and her approach was to get connected with another Bi female who is more experienced who could take her to some meet-n-greets etc. It gave her someone to talk to, get experience from, and opened doors to others until she was secure in what she was doing. Have fun!

S

[TNT]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

1. Online sites such as swinglifestyle.com.
2. Look for "Meet & Greets" that a local group or club may be hosting.

Both good suggestions.

As a SBF you will need to be a very strong individual, know exactly what it is that you want and don't want and be very firm in saying NO when you're not interested. You'll probably be bombarded with couples and single men who want your attention.

One thing I always caution single women about is when you are going out to meet someone, make sure you have let at least one person you trust know where you're going and approximately when you expect to return. There are weirdos in all walks of life so be careful.

Good luck and have fun.

Teresa

[midnightplayer]

TNT Makes a lot of sense, first of all be safe.

[Sico_tiko]

Hello bbouvier,
How are you doing??? well u first need to have baby steps into swinging u could get to know swingers from this site or somewhere else and see if your chemistry is compatible with them or not also u could have a visit a swingers club in your are if there is, but please be patient in having relationships u have to know the couple or the person you are playing with also u have to be sure 100% that they are clean, after that u could play as u like, and am sure u r going to enjoy the life style.
Nice to meet and goodbye

[bbouvier]

thanks for all of the good suggestions! i've already checked out swinglifestyle and am also much warming up to the club idea after all

thanks for the welcome, tips, advice & honestly!

xx

[crazycatz]

Hiya BB.
I've found sdc to be the best site actually. I've also managed to make a few friends on there over the years to go to parties with (people that I have and haven't played with).

I found the site was a great starting place for a single bi fem and when you network with others on there you find out really quickly who to avoid and who are sound.

Good luck.

[JustAskJulie]

Welcome to the board ! I've was in your shoes for a while and I honestly didn't like them, but that was just me. My experience was that because SBFs are so hard to find that too often couples want to make you THEIR SBF. That wasn't gonna work for me. The other major issue I encountered was again because there are so few that many couples the second they find out you are a SBF assume you will play with them.

With a new baby in tow it's going to make it very difficult for you to have a lot of time to do the ad route unless you just want to jump right into bed with people - which is fine if that'swhat you want. However, if you want to take the time and actually meet them first, it will be a little more difficult. If you do go that route, make sure you meet them somewhere public first and as TnT said, make sure someone knows where you are going and when you expect to be back.

If you do opt to go the club route, I definately understand your trepidation at going alone. I would suggest calling the club owners of the clubs in your area and talking to them. Ask them if they can introduce you to a host couple who you can go to the club with (at least your first time or two), this will give you someone that you can sit with and get to know and not feel like you are there alone. Hopefully, also they will watch out for you a bit and make sure that if you get cornered by some pushy couple or single that they will extricate you if needed.

[twohots4u2]

There was an on-premises swing club in Atlanta that would have been perfect for you, 2Risque. Alas, it has closed as far as I know. We found the people there to be very friendly and lots of fun. As a single female, you would have been a "guest of honor."

Our recommendation would be to try one of the other swing clubs in Atlanta, such as Trapeze. A major advantage of the club route is that you can observe, be very selective, and participate to whatever level you want with whomever you want, no pressure. If you meet someone there is always the implied "we came all this way to meet you and ....).

Good luck. Single bi-females are hard to find. You are a scarce commodity!

[SIRLIXOFATLANTA]

Originally Posted by bbouvier

i'm a single bi female & while i've been interested in the swinging lifestyle for years (even before i was single) i've never 'taken the plunge' and don't really know how to go about it. and i'm not new to the 'bi' scene though. i love ladies and i love men. i love people. what's most important to me in a partner is chemistry, not whatever parts they have. whatever they're parts are, if i like the person, they are just tools to make them feel good. ok, i deviated.

back to point, my life is kinda hectic these days & even if it wasn't i would have no one to go with to a club & i don't really know people in the lifestyle. i have no idea how to go about meeting people. any suggestions?

swinging is seriously something i've thought about for a long time. and i get that its not 'technically' swinging when you're single, but i feel more interested in swinging couples than vanilla boys. i feel that a swinging couple would be more in tune with their sexuality & exploring it more and with a more like mind to mine. if that makes sense.

i've been reading on these boards & have found much help in the posts of those more experienced than i to this lifestyle. everyone seems honest & open in their posts & i was hoping to get a bit more personalized advice for how to go about this. most pointedly how to meet others minus a club & swinger friends.

thanks in advance

Hello: When swinging first started, it was couples swapping with other couples. But over the years, swinging is not complete unless singles are involved. That is due to a lot of factors. There are intangibles that go into swinging now. In couples/couples swap, you have to deal with 4 people that have to like each other. Yes, there are some cases where people take one for the team, but in the most part, they don't. So, if the male on this side is not attracted to the other female or the female on this side is not attracted to the male on the other side or vice versa, it doesn't happen. That is why it takes longer for couples and couples to get together. The easiest part of swinging is a couple either swinging with a single male or single female. Now, when you are in the lifestyle as a single female or single male, you as the single female or the single male can play with each other. Even if it is not technically swinging based on the fundamentals of swinging, but because you are both in the lifestyle, it is considered swinging. Having said that, I would like to discuss further with you and possibly meet and explore the lifestyle with you. You can reach me on yahoo IM at hungblkmle9.

[BiloxiCouple]

Originally Posted by SIRLIXOFATLANTA

Hello: When swinging first started, it was couples swapping with other couples. But over the years, swinging is not complete unless singles are involved. That is due to a lot of factors. There are intangibles that go into swinging now. In couples/couples swap, you have to deal with 4 people that have to like each other. Yes, there are some cases where people take one for the team, but in the most part, they don't. So, if the male on this side is not attracted to the other female or the female on this side is not attracted to the male on the other side or vice versa, it doesn't happen. That is why it takes longer for couples and couples to get together. The easiest part of swinging is a couple either swinging with a single male or single female. Now, when you are in the lifestyle as a single female or single male, you as the single female or the single male can play with each other. Even if it is not technically swinging based on the fundamentals of swinging, but because you are both in the lifestyle, it is considered swinging. Having said that, I would like to discuss further with you and possibly meet and explore the lifestyle with you. You can reach me on yahoo IM at hungblkmle9.

I agree with what you said with the exceptions of the areas I have highlighted in your quote.

Swinging is still largely a couples activity. That is about as "complete" as it gets. If we want a single it is because we want it.

Easy to find a single male/female? Yes and no. Everyone still has to be compatible. And the elusive unicorn is difficult at best.

Single on single is swinging just because you are in the lifestyle. No. Not in my opinion.

Your opinion about "swinging" appears to be biased to a single persons view.