Swingles swinging with couples easier?

[8inches]

I'm a single guy who seems to have an easier time having sex with couples than with singles. Putting aside the numbers issue (more couples in the lifestyle seeking single males than single females) I have found that when I meet a single female and go on a date, inevitably, some of these dates have the "feel" of a vanilla male-female date. And this tends to throw a wrench into the whole sex with no strings attitude that is so easy to maintain with couples.

I also have an easier time "breaking the ice" and making that first move with couples because often the wife will either make the first move or else the husband will say something to encourage me to make the first move with his wife. With single females, there's that same hesitation you feel on a vanilla date because you can't "read" her signals clearly....

That's my experience. Anyone here actually have an EASIER time with singles than with couples?

[JustAskJulie]

Are you just referring to swinging single females? Or to single females as a whole? I can see where it may happen with swinging single females having been one, I know exactly what you mean. I think the problem is the "date" part and you are exactly right.

My experience both personally and from 10 years on this board is that most singles in the lifestyle are also looking for a relationship to some degree. So as a single female swinger when I met single males who were into the lifestyle there was always that worry as well ... what if they get attached. I just wanted no-strings sex too. But when you meet first and have a "date" and get that feel like someone is trying to develop some sort of relationship or even rapport then you get worried that they want more and you back away.

I don't really know the answer to this. For some reason I had an easier time with no-strings sex with vanilla guys than I did with swinger guys. I think there was always a constant worry in my head that what swinger single guys really want (having seen it a million times here) is to find a female who is open to swinging to actually have a relationship with... and I didn't want to be that female.

[8inches]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Are you just referring to swinging single females? Or to single females as a whole? I can see where it may happen with swinging single females having been one, I know exactly what you mean. I think the problem is the "date" part and you are exactly right.
.

I'm referring to swinging females. Of course with vanilla females EVERY date will feel like a vanilla date because it IS!

I just find with swingle females more of a "vanilla date dynamic" than with married females who only want me for my cock...

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by 8inches

I'm referring to swinging females. Of course with vanilla females EVERY date will feel like a vanilla date because it IS!

I just find with swingle females more of a "vanilla date dynamic" than with married females who only want me for my cock...

My guess is that it's because we get into a box of sorts. I can recall when I was swinging single and I occasionally met single guy swingers one on one this same thing happening. Perhaps instead of doing the "meet for dinner and then...." scenario, you should just skip straight to the point. Assuming you've already met them and know what you want to happen, that is. If you haven't already met them and need to "feel them out" do it over something less committal and easier to move on from - like at a swinger club or just over drinks at a hotel bar (with your room already reserved upstairs).

[absingleman]

Its funny. I've had NSA sex with single women I later learned was in the lifestyle. It seems like after they learn I've been involved in swinging activities on a semi-regular basis, they start looking for something to be wrong and back away a little bit. Its almost like going on a first date again.

I choose to look at it this way. If she knows you are a swinger, you know she is a swinger, and she chooses to treat your first meeting like a "vanilla" date rather than two people who are just getting together to bump uglies and go their seperate ways, I would treat it as a date and "jokingly seriously" tell her that the next date will be at that motel you passed on the way to the restaurant...before the check comes. Her reaction will tell you where you stand. Don't read too much into this kind of situation. It may be that she was totally willing to sleep with you but liked you enough not to rush into anything and have the evening end.

Even swinger chicks like romance...sometimes.

[Malachista]

I find it easier with single males then with couples.

Most couples I ever meet are there for "her fun" - means she wants to play with others.
As soon as he wants to touch another woman they get jealous (or crazy) and drag him away (if I'm unlucky they also try to slap or scream at me)

And it happens every so often that a guy comes up to me and asks for my number - hinting that we can meet some other time when is jealous wife is not around....
(that is why I have less an issue with cheating singles, then with cheaters who are part of a swinger couple)