Are single females in the lifestyle less "hot" than married females?

[8inches]

I've been in the lifestyle for several years and I have played with both couples and single females. In my experience, I have found that females when part of a couple to be generally in better shape and to have better figures (assuming that like me you find a dress size 4 to be a "better figure" than a dress size 14).

Has anyone else noticed this or am I alone in this observation?

I've done searches on different lifestyle sites to see if my observations were general or not and indeed I have noticed that among single female profiles you will find a lot more in the "curvy" or "thick" category than you will for married females.

[Drusilla]

assuming that like me you find a dress size 4 to be a "better figure" than a dress size 14).

Very politically correct, 8inches! Lots of thought went into how to word this post, huh? lol

Sorry.....couldn't resist....

And yes, of course, married women are much hotter than single ones.

Oh, is that politically incorrect of me? LOL....

Just joshin' of course.

[JustAskJulie]

I think that what you are seeing comes from...

single women who find their way to swinging do so in one of two ways... either because they used to be half of a swinging couple or because they are just looking for a way to be more open about their sexuality in an accepting environment. What you may also be seeing (and I may get flamed for this) is that the single women who are higher on the hotness scale may not feel the need or desire to advertise on swinger sites because it is easier for them to find playmates in other ways. Whereas women who may not be as high on the physical hotness scale may find that advertising on websites gives them a great ego boost, thanks to all the responses they will get as single women.

From what I've seen overall the averages are about the same in single to married women, I've seen thick and thin in both and hot and NOT in both as well when it comes to swinging. Granted I've see a lot more attached women in the lifestyle than singles but I think from my experiences the percentages work out about the same.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

...What you may also be seeing (and I may get flamed for this) is that the single women who are higher on the hotness scale may not feel the need or desire to advertise on swinger sites because it is easier for them to find playmates in other ways. Whereas women who may not be as high on the physical hotness scale may find that advertising on websites gives them a great ego boost, thanks to all the responses they will get as single women.

I agree with Julie's take on this.

There are very few single female profiles on the ad site we use, and if I researched to see if they fit into a smaller physical size category more than the women of couples, I don't think I'd find that they would.

What I have noticed is that the single women that are usually smaller in size are those 18-25 yo. And on looking at their profiles, I don't think most are even that interested in swinging. They rarely last long on the site and their pictures seem very pornesque and their profiles vague or nearly empty. I figure they joined to get a thrill at being desired for a month (while being a trial member) or the profile was set up by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend or ex-husband and, therefore, the profile isn't even real.

Around here we have found that more females (whether married or single) wear size 14 and up rather than size 4.

LM

[ncmd_couple]

8inches,

I've got some good news, and some bad news. After reading this, I decided that I was going to ignore it. But after reading some of the other responses, and reading a couple of other posts from you, I thought this was probably the best place to give you the news.

The good news is: (and I'm assuming your fairly young as you have never introduced yourself)

In your age bracket the women tend to be young, slender, more fit, more in line with what you see on TV and in magazines.

The bad news is:

You may be able to keep your "buff" body longer by working out. But our sexy ladies pay the price for raising kids and nature isn't often real kind to them. I know, some women can have a child and weeks later you would never guess it. But they are the exception, not the rule. Throw in 25-30 years on top of that.

The really good news is:

As you get older, live through life with a lady, watch your children grow, and watch the changes, you may, or may not learn one of life's great lessons like I did.

I look at my sexy lady and see the beautiful young woman that she once was. Yes, diabitis has caused her to gain weight no matter how hard she has fought. Yes, gravity has taken its toll here and there. Yes, she has scars here and there. But when she smiles at me her eyes still sparkle. When I hold her in my arms she is still a cuddly arm full and I still love feeling her great tits up against my chest.

I hope you learn to do that, for one day you will be 50ish like me, still randy, but you will be chasing 20ish girls when they are looking at young buff 20ish guys. Not some guy who has some grey hair, if he hasn't lost it, who is in good shape, but ewwww, he is her father's age.

Age does not give me wisdom, but it does give me perspective. Enjoy it while ya' got it 8incher, time levels all playing fields...

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

What I have noticed is that the single women that are usually smaller in size are those 18-25 yo. And on looking at their profiles, I don't think most are even that interested in swinging. They rarely last long on the site and their pictures seem very pornesque and their profiles vague or nearly empty. I figure they joined to get a thrill at being desired for a month (while being a trial member) or the profile was set up by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend or ex-husband and, therefore, the profile isn't even real.

Another common reason for this (especially on sites like AFF) is that many of those profiles are set up by people who run websites or do camchat (with a charge) and they just use the profiles on the ad sites to "hook" potential members/paying customers.

[8inches]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

What you may also be seeing (and I may get flamed for this) is that the single women who are higher on the hotness scale may not feel the need or desire to advertise on swinger sites because it is easier for them to find playmates in other ways. Whereas women who may not be as high on the physical hotness scale may find that advertising on websites gives them a great ego boost, thanks to all the responses they will get as single women.

From what I've seen overall the averages are about the same in single to married women, I've seen thick and thin in both and hot and NOT in both as well when it comes to swinging. Granted I've see a lot more attached women in the lifestyle than singles but I think from my experiences the percentages work out about the same.

So your saying that on lifestyle websites you DO see that profiles from single women are less "physically hot" but in real life (at parties I guess) you see the single females about the same physically as the married females? I personally think the single women at parties aren't hotter than the single women on lifestyle websites - to me they are pretty representative...

[WesternSwing]

I think it's the same across the board. Swingers are simply a sampling of everyday people and come from all walks of life. In my experience the ratio of thinner women to thicker women is the same as it is amongst non-swingers.

[8inches]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

And on looking at their profiles, I don't think most are even that interested in swinging. They rarely last long on the site and their pictures seem very pornesque and their profiles vague or nearly empty. I figure they joined to get a thrill at being desired for a month (while being a trial member) or the profile was set up by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend or ex-husband and, therefore, the profile isn't even real.

Yeah, I think some if not most of those "pornesque" profiles are fake also. Could be posted by a disgruntled ex or a gal looking for attention or perhaps even a guy pretending to be a girl for kicks.....

[8inches]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

I think it's the same across the board. Swingers are simply a sampling of everyday people and come from all walks of life. In my experience the ratio of thinner women to thicker women is the same as it is amongst non-swingers.

I think married women in the lifestyle are generally hotter than in the general population but maybe my perspective is skewed from those I play with....

[good times]

I have a hard time answering this question because on the one hand, at any given night at the club, the hottest women are usually part of a couple. On the other hand, that doesn't mean much because their are way more married women than single gals on any given night. On a night with 30-40 couples their might be 2-4 single women. I suspect if their were the same number of each, the average hotness level would be about the same. The same holds true for the ad sites in our area. Their are so few single women compared to couples that it would be impossible say which is hotter as a group, even though the odds of finding a real hot woman as part of a couple is much greater than finding a hot single.

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by 8inches

Has anyone else noticed this or am I alone in this observation?

On one hand, you may not have very much company in this observation.

When I was in my late teens/early 20s (which has only been about 10 years ago), I would have NEVER thought to post an ad on anything like AFF or SLS.

Why? Because as a younger, relatively hotter/thinner female I had no problems finding fuck buddies/play partners/one night stands/whatever. Am I implying that those who are 'less hot' are in some way more desperate and 'resort' to posting on these sites (or others like them)? Not in anyway.

Personally, it never dawned on me to do so....but I had no aversion to meeting people, going out to vanilla clubs, introducing myself, or just having sex with male friends I already knew and were comfortable with. Was my bedroom a revolving door? Hardly, but I still had a good time.

Most swingers are here to play with other couples...and you'll see a representation of hot, not so hot and all in between. If Jeff and I split up, would I swing as a single? Probably. Would I have entered the lifestyle as a single female before doing it with a partner? Eh, probably not.

If you are looking for the 'hot girls' to go have a good time with, then I recommend going to any number of vanilla dance clubs on the weekends and try your luck picking up women there. I would still say it's a crapshoot, just about like going to a swing club...there are no guarantees that you (particuarly as a single male) will have sex. Just like at a vanilla club.

Good luck,

Maria

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by 8inches

I've been in the lifestyle for several years and I have played with both couples and single females. In my experience, I have found that females when part of a couple to be generally in better shape and to have better figures (assuming that like me you find a dress size 4 to be a "better figure" than a dress size 14).

Has anyone else noticed this or am I alone in this observation?

I've done searches on different lifestyle sites to see if my observations were general or not and indeed I have noticed that among single female profiles you will find a lot more in the "curvy" or "thick" category than you will for married females.

If you are a hot female single looking for casual no strings sex, you have absolutely no reason to go to a web site, post photos etc. You can pick and choose, its the nature of sex and swinging.

Thats not to say I haven't seen a few very attractive single females on swinging sites who were in fact real people. Problem is most of them were a bit off in the head, or in fact down right nuts.

Occasionally it seems you might find a recently divorced woman who just wants to go out and have some 'real' fun after years in an unhappy marriage or you might find a divorced half of a former swinger couple, but again those are pretty rare.

I had a rather unattractive vanilla friend who was having big problems in her marriage, which had become sexless. Long story short her husband gave her an open pass, and I suggested swinging to her as an alternative to meeting single guys. I was friends with both her and her husband and was hoping they could keep it together once she got her wild side under control (that was all she claimed she was lacking the sex). She put up an add and had a full dance card from the first weekend, thats just how it works for even less than perfect unicorns.

[iapr]

Which is hotter, accountants or chiropractors? You are trying to compare apples to oranges here. Single fems on websites are a completely different creature than swinging wives. If you want to think that the wives are hotter than the singles go for it.

To be honest I have observed the same thing and I think the other posters have shared some pretty open dialogue on the issue and have shown some pretty admirable sensitivity on a subject that could get real touchy real fast.

I'll try not to be offensive or to put anyone down but I am going to disable the political correctness filter for a while and share my $.02 (which may be a complete rip-off). Females halves of couples as a group are often a cross-section of society as a whole. There are big, small, short, tall, rich, poor, blonde, brunette etc etc. For the most part they are "normal" people that have delved into a nontraditional lifestyle with their husbands as part of their maritial sexual dynamic. Many have lived completely traditional lives for many years untill they dipped their toe into the lifestyle

Single fems putting up profiles on swinging websites and meeting couples and single guys for recreational sexual encounters are "abnormal" from the outset. Now I don't mean abnormal in a bad or insulting way but they have completely stepped out of the traditional bounds of what society expects of a single female. For someone to take such a radical departure from the norm there has to be a reason for that.

There are surely countless reasons for that, but unfortunately some of those reasons are disfunctional in nature. Some have come from nasty divorces and breakups and are there to fuck as many people as they can not because they like the sex and freedom but to get back at their husbands as "punishment" to their ex's. For some it is trying to fill a void in their self esteem or self image and they are just there for the attention. Some are unattractive and the lifestyle is their last ditch effort to get some male attention and to be able to be the one in the drivers seat calling the shots. They have reached a point where they are ignoring their grandmothers admonition to not give the milk away for free and so they are giving away as much milk for free as possible in hopes that someone will buy the cow.

And I also agree with chicup that some are just plain nuts. Some just have so many issues and hangups that societal standards and practices mean nothing to them and they have abandoned all societal norms.

Now after saying all that please keep in mind this is just personal observations from one guy. I am not out on some crusade against single fems, but a good reality check now and then is usually a good thing. We have met some pleasant and charming single gals that were showing no outwards signs of pathology and were pretty self-aware and well adjusted. Were they attractive? No, not really but they were a face in the crowd like you would run into a hundred times a day but never really "see."

I guess what I am getting at after all of this is that your observations are your observations and are your reality. If you are enjoying your encounters with female halves of couples go for it. If you are having fantasies of encountering Jenna Jamison as a single fem in the lifestyle you may want to step back and take another look at what is really out there.

Single fems in the lifestyle are very limited. Single fems in the lifestyle that are for real and actually meet people in person are very rare. Single fems that meet people in person and are attractive are one in a million.

Likeminds321 also made an astute observation. If you come across a profile of a young hot chick, chances are it is either a biological female that is just trying to garner attention or it is actually some gross guy living in his mom's basement with his pants down around his ankles trying to scam people for pictures by posing as a single fem.

I apologize to any that may have taken offense by my above observations. I realize that there are attractive, squared away, self-actualized single gals out there that have no disfunctions or pathologys. I just haven't had the fortune of meeting any of them yet. You all may flame away now.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by iapr

...Single fems putting up profiles on swinging websites and meeting couples and single guys for recreational sexual encounters are "abnormal" from the outset. Now I don't mean abnormal in a bad or insulting way but they have completely stepped out of the traditional bounds of what society expects of a single female. For someone to take such a radical departure from the norm there has to be a reason for that.

True. But you can say that about couples too.

I think with any swinger, single or couples, knowing the "reason" they are swinging is crucial when deciding if you want to swing with them.

There are plenty of "wacked out" couples in the lifestyle. Avoiding them is easier for some than others. And I believe our chances of finding couples with their heads on straight is higher because there are way more couples out there than single females.

With so few single females to choose from, the likelihood of coming across a good one will be harder to do.

8inches started this thread asking about "hot" single fems versus hot married women, and he was focusing on the physical attributes of what he considers hot. As this discussion has progressed, I think most of us will agree that there is way more to consider than a dress size when determining if a woman is hot or not.

LM