Are single females in the lifestyle less "hot" than married females?

[Cpl2share]

Right on Likeminds! Hot? What is that? We see all kinds in the lifestyle, just like in "real life". A skinny woman can be ugly as hell and a heavy woman can be the most sensuos thing on the face of the earth. This thread reminds me of that movie: Shallow Hal. We have found that getting to know someone will tell us if they are hot or not. Like earlier posters have said: Swingers are a cross section of the rest of society. In our opinion a woman who has a "lived in" body is much hotter than a teeny bopper becuase she has earned the respect (by living life) and is comfortable with her body. Any teeny who has not had to struggle with the in laws, children and the daily grind of life can spend lots of time worrying about how she looks, give me a woman who has went to the school of life with surgery and stretch marks, that is hot!

[Sico_tiko]

I also Think that single females are less hot than married ones

[iapr]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

True. But you can say that about couples too.

I think with any swinger, single or couples, knowing the "reason" they are swinging is crucial when deciding if you want to swing with them.

There are plenty of "wacked out" couples in the lifestyle. Avoiding them is easier for some than others. And I believe our chances of finding couples with their heads on straight is higher because there are way more couples out there than single females.

With so few single females to choose from, the likelihood of coming across a good one will be harder to do.

8inches started this thread asking about "hot" single fems versus hot married women, and he was focusing on the physical attributes of what he considers hot. As this discussion has progressed, I think most of us will agree that there is way more to consider than a dress size when determining if a woman is hot or not.

LM

Oh there are definately wacked out couples out there for sure!! And there are surely single fems that are completely squared away and well adjusted, I just haven't ever met any them in my travels and I have traveled a fair amount.

And I agree with you totally that dress size does not determine if someone is hot or not. The OP's verbage may have been a bit sophomoric and more fitting for a fraternity house locker room discussion rather than a serious swinger board but his observations are his observations and giving it some thought they are not all that different from my own. As he is probably a young single guy he is probably more in tune to physical attributes than a middle age married bald guy like me. This is just my personal thoughts but I betcha that a lot of young single guys try to enter the lifesyle thinking that there are going to be all these young hot single porno starlets at every venue and that is just not the reality. He has probably gotten out enough to figure out that the real single fem market in the lifestyle just isn't as enticing as what the fantasy is.

The only thing I disagree with you on is I do not believe that I need to know someone's "reason for swinging" before I can swing with them. Their reasons are their own and my/our reasons are our own. As long as there is a mutual attraction and comfort and as long as everyone is respectfull of feelings and boundries I don't think one persons reasons are any more or any less valid than another persons. We always have a choice to play or to walk away so one can choose to not play with cheaters or with anyone that they are not completely comfortable with. If you pick up a red flag and choose to pass that is always your perogative.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by iapr

The only thing I disagree with you on is I do not believe that I need to know someone's "reason for swinging" before I can swing with them. Their reasons are their own and my/our reasons are our own...If you pick up a red flag and choose to pass that is always your perogative.

What I meant by "reasons for swinging" are their motivations that can make playing with them troublesome.

Examples:

a) One spouse is dragging the other into swinging and the one being pulled into it is agreeing to it because they feel they have no choice.

b) One spouse feels if they don't agree to swinging, they will lose their spouse to cheating.

c) The couple has a marriage breaking down and hope swinging will repair it.

These are a few of the things I'm talking about. Yes, their reasons are their own, but we hope we'll get a sense of these kind of reasons before we ever play with them. I think when you play with a couple who is swinging for any of the above reasons it can affect how the play goes. In the middle of play you can end up thinking to yourself, "What did we get ourselves into!"

LM

[8inches]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

And I believe our 8inches started this thread asking about "hot" single fems versus hot married women, and he was focusing on the physical attributes of what he considers hot. As this discussion has progressed, I think most of us will agree that there is way more to consider than a dress size when determining if a woman is hot or not.
LM

I would say I've met as many if not more fucked up couples in the Lifestyle than swingles. But the married females are generally more attractive than their single female counterparts.

Also, the swingle guys in the lifestyle are usually in way better shape than their married male counterpart.

I guess it's supply and demand in action - since there are so few swingle females in the LS and the demand for them is high, well, "beggers can't be choosers"

Likewise, lot's of swingle males so couples can pick and choose. And if couples want to choose the obese single guy with the small cock who has a great personality, it's their perogative...

[beachguyz]

It's all a matter of perspective. There are many women single and married who are smoking hot. But what is hot? For me it's the entire package. What does not appeal to me is beauty but no brains. It might be a smile, her eyes, how she carries her self that first attracts me but in the end it's her brain. I much prefer a smart woman over a really good looking but smarts challenged woman.

Long after looks are gone, you need to be able to talk to someone interesting.

[crazycatz]

I'll be quite honest and say I think this is a ridiculous question.
You are presuming that there is some generic form of 'hot'...there's not! There's YOUR personal taste and that's it!
And the lifestyle attracts people from all categories, all walks of life, all backgrounds...
Maybe you just have a thing for married women...like many single guys who enter the lifestyle do...i.e. fantasising about fucking another man's wife.

[NYCTeamOfOne]

I have noticed when someone mentions "hot" people'd jump on the person asking the question giving him a speech on how the definition of "hot" is different for everyone or that he shouldn't look for just hot women.

I personally know what OP means when he says "Hot women" and I suspect everyone here knows what he means as well. I also know for sure when he asked his question he was only asking about the physical attribute. You may not agree with what he means by hot but you know what it means to him and probably majority of the population. I think many of us know he'd like his question answered with "HIS" definition of "more attractive" vs "less attractive", not yours.

Why can't we simply answer his question without trying to correct him? In you accusing him being judgmental you yourself is being judgmental.

P.S. I am not addressing this to any one specific person

[crazycatz]

Originally Posted by NYCTeamOfOne

I have noticed when someone mentions "hot" people'd jump on the person asking the question giving him a speech on how the definition of "hot" is different for everyone or that he shouldn't look for just hot women.

I personally know what OP means when he says "Hot women" and I suspect everyone here knows what he means as well. I also know for sure when he asked his question he was only asking about the physical attribute. You may not agree with what he means by hot but you know what it means to him and probably majority of the population. I think many of us know he'd like his question answered with "HIS" definition of "more attractive" vs "less attractive", not yours.

Why can't we simply answer his question without trying to correct him? In you accusing him being judgmental you yourself is being judgmental.

P.S. I am not addressing this to any one specific person

Well tell us, what DOES he mean by hot????
To many women Brad Pitt is hot. Not to me. In fact, I find him completely unattractive. Same goes for Tom Cruise. HOT has no generic definition!
I think you're being a little naive there bud.

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by NYCTeamOfOne

Why can't we simply answer his question without trying to correct him? In you accusing him being judgmental you yourself is being judgmental.

Yes, hotness is relative to the person being asked. However, I assumed that the OP was talking about females aged 18-25 that look like the just stepped off of a porno or Playboy.

And my original answer to him was when I was that age, I didn't resort to the lifestyle to find fuck buddies. I just asked. No ads, no swing clubs, no personal ads of any kind. Did I want for partners? No, I had a few that I liked and kept in the rotation. Did I fuck every male that looked my way? No to that too. I did however quite enjoy myself and that's all that mattered to me.

Now, 10 years later and I'm part of a couple and we play together. It's still quite easy for me to get an outside partner (even though I look nothing like I did when I was 19)...to find like minded folks that don't mind sharing or joining in the action we do have an SLS ad and don't mind going to clubs.

Maria

[Edison Carter]

Susan here, I spent two years as a fabled unicorn. I was playing for a year before I even heard the term. In my case, group partner play evolved with friends who also had no previous experience in the Lifestyle. One time I went to an on-premise club, with a friend, we were both learning about this broad Lifestyle. I never advertised with a web profile, per se, early on because I seemed to keep running into opportunities for great sex with interesting people. Of course it didn't hurt that I was considered attractive and fun in bed. Yet, I wasn't everyones 'type' and that never bothered me.

Yet, I think being fun trumps being pretty,at least with people I wanted to Play with. When a couple was evaluating me as 'fuckworthy' I felt there was a 'target' on me and never would be interested. Yet, the people who were fun to chat with or those who were very comfortable with themselves, polite too, always were the most fun and continue to be so.

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by 8inches

I've been in the lifestyle for several years and I have played with both couples and single females. In my experience, I have found that females when part of a couple to be generally in better shape and to have better figures (assuming that like me you find a dress size 4 to be a "better figure" than a dress size 14).

I've done searches on different lifestyle sites to see if my observations were general or not and indeed I have noticed that among single female profiles you will find a lot more in the "curvy" or "thick" category than you will for married females.

I think asking the question in the first place is kind of rude.

Maybe some of the single women run closer to size 14 than you like, but pretty much every guy we've met that calls himself a "single male swinger" runs closer to being a LOSER than we would like, so I guess it's about even, isn't it?

If you want to see more "size 4 single women" in the lifestyle, you could start by bringing more attractive, intelligent, successful single men into it first. Most of the guys we see now are towel sharks and mouth-breathers who have NEVER brought their wife or girlfriend into our club.

-the male half-

[8inches]

Originally Posted by NYCTeamOfOne

I personally know what OP means when he says "Hot women" and I suspect everyone here knows what he means as well. I also know for sure when he asked his question he was only asking about the physical attribute. You may not agree with what he means by hot but you know what it means to him and probably majority of the population. I think many of us know he'd like his question answered with "HIS" definition of "more attractive" vs "less attractive", not yours.

Thanks for being honest. OK, for clarification "hot" means looking like a beauty pageant winner - nice body and overall good looks. And contrary to what posters have said "hot" is not dependent on age - I have seen plenty of very hot 40-something women in California. Take Angelina Jolie as an example of an older hottie.

[8inches]

Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2

If you want to see more "size 4 single women" in the lifestyle, you could start by bringing more attractive, intelligent, successful single men into it first. Most of the guys we see now are towel sharks and mouth-breathers who have NEVER brought their wife or girlfriend into our club.

-the male half-

I have been to several lifestyle clubs and they generally do not allow single men unless you get special permission from the organizers and then you have to be an attractive single male and have recommendations from other couples. If I bring a hot girl with me I can get in with no recommendations and it doesn't matter what I look like....

This is the way the lifestyle is where I live.

[NYCTeamOfOne]

Originally Posted by crazycatz

Well tell us, what DOES he mean by hot????
To many women Brad Pitt is hot. Not to me. In fact, I find him completely unattractive. Same goes for Tom Cruise. HOT has no generic definition!
I think you're being a little naive there bud.

I completely understand that you do not think BP and TC are hot but I'd bet everything I own that the vast majority of females on this planet would think that they are hotter than Rob Schneider.

I think people often take questions like this too personally or try to be politically correct which is ironic since the lifestyle itself isn't.

I am speaking out because I am interested in this question and I want the true answers, not sugar coated one.