First experience didn't go well... would like a second chance

[thongLover]

Hello. I finally got together with a really nice couple recently, but I have to say, I didnt perform the way I should have.

I was completely nervous and I couldnt function at all. I WAS able to perform orally but when it came to being erect, forget it! Now, dont get me wrong, the female was quite attractive and I was attracted to her, but the whole thing of her husband being there just kept me from really getting into it. There is absolutely nothing against him, I suppose it's just the whole idea, or something. I've never been thru anything like this before.

I would very much like to meet with them again, I need to figure out how to get over the newbie jitters.

I'm sure you all have runa cross this kind of story before, and with the size of this board, I didnt want to kill half the day trying to find a related topic.


Any thoughts/ ideas on this folks? Thanks in advance.

[babydragon]

I can understand your situation, please dont be put off, it can happen to the best of us. I dont know the back ground of your situation, but I'll atempt to give you some basic advice.
As you stated oral was no problem for you, but the master wouldn't rise to the occasion. There are a few different ways to solve this problem:
1, get your SO to try and give you a jump start as that always seems to help.
2, if that fails you could always try stepping back from the actual full swing and try soft swinging untill you feel at ease with the other hubby be around.
3, if neither of those work try 1, viagra, 2, finding a different couple who you can totally relax around the male.

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by thongLover
...
I need to figure out how to get over the newbie jitters.
...

I would say, practice, practice, practice

Did the couple enjoy themselves? Did you talk with them about what was going on with you? I would think that if they're the kind of people you would want to be with they would understand your situation and perhaps give it another go.

I wouldn't worry a lot about it and just let things happen next time.

-B

[thongLover]

Thanks guys!, I spoke with them this morning and I also told them last night that I was kinda rattled and the totally understood. But you know us men, we sometimes have complexes about such things. The couple did enjoy themselves and I informed them that I did also, so I think there's open communication there. The hubby made a comment along the lines of next time that her and I spend a bit of time together first before he gets involved. I honestly feel I can relax around him, it's just getting past that first hurdle.

Thing is, I will NOT let this happen again! hehe!

[thongLover]

Thanks guys!, I spoke with them this morning and I also told them last night that I was kinda rattled and the totally understood. But you know us men, we sometimes have complexes about such things. The couple did enjoy themselves and I informed them that I did also, so I think there's open communication there. The hubby made a comment along the lines of next time that her and I spend a bit of time together first before he gets involved. I honestly feel I can relax around him, it's just getting past that first hurdle.

Thing is, I will NOT let this happen again! hehe!

[thongLover]

Sheesh, 156 hits and only 4 replys...there's go to be more to be said out there. hehe! :p

[Handyman69]

thongLover,

My husband had the same problem the first few times out but patience is a virtue. He was able to function better the 2nd time out as when I noticed he was in trouble, I came and helped out a little. Did the trick and really not a problem since. Don't get over worked up as will only make the problem worse.

Relax and you will come around.

Have fun...


Rhonda

[JustAskJulie]

I hate to say it but maybe you just aren't cut out for swinging. I've encountered many guys who love the fantasy of the idea of group sex or fucking some other guys wife but when it comes down to they just can't handle having another guy in the room. Whether they just don't want to share or have major homophobia or whatever the reason may be, they just can't handle it.

Fantasy and reality are two different things and sometimes they just don't mesh well.

[MagicEnigma]

My first time out my then BF didn't seem able to handle things. We wound up going our seperate ways.

[eezcum]

Been there, it will get better with time! It's much easier when there is some foreplay. A little teasing, undressing her, her undressing you, etc... definitely helps. Hanging out on the bed with the hubby drinking a beer and suddenly she bursts out of the bathroom naked and ready to jump on both of you, makes it a little tough to perform. I usually don't get much resistance from a couple, the ladys seem to enjoy unwrapping a new toy and the hubby has fun watching her? It's all about them! You might suggest a drink in the lounge first as well just to get all the jitters out and prime your pump!!! Good Luck.......

[thongLover]

Thnax for the input. There has been another get together planned soon with them. I fell abit better about this one too.

Julie, my dear, I hope to make you eat your words, LOL, j/k kidding. :-)

I think it just went abit too fat. We didnt start til around 10 or so, went to the hot tub for about 30 minuutes, I did to much talking (obvious for a first timer) then right out of the hottub to the bed next to it.

However, they didnt do anything wronf in my book, I just got chilly feet at first. I think I'll be better next time.


I'll keep you all posted on how my next shot goes.

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by thongLover
Hello. I finally got together with a really nice couple recently, but I have to say, I didnt perform the way I should have.

I was completely nervous and I couldnt function at all. I WAS able to perform orally but when it came to being erect, forget it! Now, dont get me wrong, the female was quite attractive and I was attracted to her, but the whole thing of her husband being there just kept me from really getting into it. There is absolutely nothing against him, I suppose it's just the whole idea, or something. I've never been thru anything like this before.

I would very much like to meet with them again, I need to figure out how to get over the newbie jitters.

I'm sure you all have runa cross this kind of story before, and with the size of this board, I didnt want to kill half the day trying to find a related topic.

WOW you are so cool to post this.

This happens to everyone at some time. If it hasn't happened to any readers rest assured it will.

Don't count on this couple again unless they were very understanding. Just chalk it up to newbie jitters. You need to go slower when you get to the actual incident. They should take time to lighten up with you also. A single guy has a lot on his mind during the first encounter.

I have been on both sides of that fence. I have also made love to probably well a lot of females. Both with hubbies and without. It can happen. Just remember that the ole boy works. It will not always let you down. Do not make a big issue out of it in your own head cuz thats dangerous.

Be aware of your physical and emotional condition. If you drink slow down. If you are stressed out then cancel. Sometimes its just that simple.

One more thing. I have had three swinging relationships in which we included single males. We NEVER swung on the first meet unless we met at a club which can or may not be different. After you meet them once or twice the comfort level bar gets lowered.

If you met them and coaxed them, even if they coaxed you into a same night meeting that can cause undo stress...just a thought, that may not be applicable.

bout all i can say.

john.

[2New2it]

One other suggestion...go easy on the booze. Nothing will kill an erection faster than too many drinks. It might give you courage, but courage does no good without the tools to do the job.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by thongLover
I finally got together with a really nice couple recently, but I have to say, I didnt perform the way I should have.

Not performing well on a first vist is not uncommon. It happens to the best of us. Might I ask where your girlfriend was? Or did she not know in the same way that she didn't when you were planning your visit to a nudist beach without her knowledge? Just curious as you don't seem to mention her now at all. Well except for the fact that she wanted you to find another couple to play with, without her. Did you break up and you are flying solo now? It does seem as though you were flying solo to begin with based on your previous postings anyway.

I'll be quite frank here. I don't think you have any right to try and introduce yourself or portray yourself as a swinger. And you are making it that much harder for the truly single males to gain respect. I feel that you are either playing around on a wife or girlfriend and trying to get some sympathy which you are not deserving of. I've always said that given enough rope any deceitful person will hang themselves.

I'm sure you all have runa cross this kind of story before, and with the size of this board, I didnt want to kill half the day trying to find a related topic.

Finding any topic on this board is extremely easy. There is a search button on the tool bar. If that is too tough for you, then just start from the first topic in the Single Male Forum and start working your way down. You shouldn't have to get through more than 10 or 11 topics to get a good understanding of what I am talking about.

Also, do not refer to Julie by calling her "My dear" or "Jules". In my opinion that is like some cheesy bar language and reeks of desparation. She may not be bothered by it but I am. So as a favor to me, don't do it again. You haven't earned that right and that is my opinion only.

Why not give the truly single guys around here the breaks they deserve. This is not a site to pick up women, cheat on your girlfriend/wife (whatever todays explanation is) or think that after a few postings that you can talk to women like they are your best buddy. Doesn't fly with me. Never has. Never will.

Lori ~ Who can't believe the audacity (sp) of some people.

[Flori_DAMAN]

Woah sis,

what did I miss here. A visit to a nudist camp without her knowledge? Most of the things you referred to I did not find in the original post. Did I miss something?

John