How should a single male act... ?

[curious24]

This is mainly a question for the couples out there... when meeting a single male (or if you haven't ever met one) how would you all want him to act?

I know all the basics *I think* but at the same time.. if I were to meet a new couple for the first time I would want it to go as smoothly as possible...

So back to my question.. what would you all like to see from a single male from the first meet to the bed room?

thanks!

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by curious24
This is mainly a question for the couples out there... when meeting a single male (or if you haven't ever met one) how would you all want him to act?

I know all the basics *I think* but at the same time.. if I were to meet a new couple for the first time I would want it to go as smoothly as possible...

So back to my question.. what would you all like to see from a single male from the first meet to the bed room?

thanks!

Having been in relationships for many years where MMF's were by far the most signifigant mutual enjoyment allow me to share this.

A man that is low keyed, conversationalist, not bullshitter.

Honest. Only a couple of dishonest men makes the liars easy to spot.

A man that can flirt openly and involve the husband in the flirtation.

A guy that stops initiating personal conversation when hubby goes to the bathroom or gets into a conversation or whatever. If she starts it fine, but you should refrain especially until you know them well if hubby aint around.

A man that is impeccably clean and hygienic.

When the bedroom time comes a guy that isn't drunk.

A man that is very in tune with BOTH. When his wife is in the throes of passion he may get uncomfortable because she is totally ignoring him, for physical reasons. You should make eye contact with him and invite him to join in if he looks worried.

A guy that after the sex is done can still be himself, not run out of the room like "mission acccomplished".

A guy that doesn't go on and on about old relationships or his current sexual interests, unless the wife seems quite interested.

A guy that listens carefully and makes honest eye contact.

Just a few things, I'm sure others can add.

John.

[ATAK]

A man that can flirt openly and involve the husband in the flirtation

Ok, admittedly, I've never faced the situation socially where I was talking to a couple who might be interested in a MFM and had to flirt with the husband.

John, I'm sure that's not exactly what you meant, but can you clarify a little bit more about this? I understand the part about including the husband in conversation and not ignoring him, simply because you are not attracted to him. But I am unclear how to include him in the flirtation....

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by ATAK
Ok, admittedly, I've never faced the situation socially where I was talking to a couple who might be interested in a MFM and had to flirt with the husband.

John, I'm sure that's not exactly what you meant, but can you clarify a little bit more about this? I understand the part about including the husband in conversation and not ignoring him, simply because you are not attracted to him. But I am unclear how to include him in the flirtation....

LOL, NO NO NO>.....I didnt mean flirt WITH the hubby!

I meant mutual teasing, flirting, kidding around playing with words, making her blush, teaming up on her.....you get the idea? If you flirt with the hubby you may end up with a busted nose

John

[OhioCouple]

We have only had one instance where we met with a single male.

As a bit of background, a single male is one of my fantasies and part of my desire for a threesome. This is where I feel really bad for the single guys out there, based on our only experieince. Everything stated below is exactly what our expectations were.

The one single gentleman was very nice, neatly dressed and he equally paid attention in conversation with both of us. Admittedly at times I felt somewhat left out of conversation as they conversed on issues that were of no interst to me. Since we do not play on a first meet as a rule, we were all in agreement after dinner that we would get back together soon. My husband chose to steer away from meeting back with him with no real rhyme or reason why. I didn't understand it as this man seemed to be all and everything that we were seeking. He did absolutely nothing wrong and everything right...IMO and my husband's also.

I think we just were not ready for that at this point in our relationship regarding the lifestyle and this man paid the penalty for it. I think if you represent yourself well and if the couple you are meeting with are ready then you'll do well, if the couple isn't though, don't be offended by no further contact to meet and just move on.

Lori

[JustAskJulie]

1. I would want him to be himself. If there is anything about him that seems forced then something would seem off. So don't take the advice people give you and feel that you have to be someone you are not.

2. As John mentioned, do include the husband. The fastest way to disclude yourself would be to ignore my husband and treat him like some voyeur at the table or a third wheel. You are the third wheel and we can drive just fine without you.

3. Kind, courteous, respectful and honest.

4. When it comes to the bedroom, ask me what I want. Ask me what I like and pay attention to my reactions while you are with me in case I don't verbalize something right away. Same for you, if you don't like something let me know.

5. See #3

[2New2it]

Originally posted by OhioCouple

The one single gentleman was very nice, neatly dressed and he equally paid attention in conversation with both of us. Admittedly at times I felt somewhat left out of conversation as they conversed on issues that were of no interst to me. Since we do not play on a first meet as a rule, we were all in agreement after dinner that we would get back together soon. My husband chose to steer away from meeting back with him with no real rhyme or reason why. I didn't understand it as this man seemed to be all and everything that we were seeking. He did absolutely nothing wrong and everything right...IMO and my husband's also.
Lori

Sometimes it's just a gut feeling and I can't explain it, but it's as powerful as words.

We have contacted several single men over the years and invited several of them to play with us, but there were a couple we didn't pick that really turned me off. Even though my wife liked them and though they met our original criteria, there was something uncomfortable for me.

Those we did agree on turned out to be great fun and a couple of them have remained our friends over the years. One especially is a favorite of both of us. When I leave town on a trip, I always ask him to stop in and see that my wife is doing okay and to take care of her sexual needs when she is alone.

It all boils down to who you feel comfortable with and who you do not perceive to be a threat to your relationship with your spouse.