SM swinging safety thoughts

[Edison Carter]

Susan here--Wow, a lot in this thread.

As far as safety, I guess you can prepare for the worst and expect the best. But if the sex is that 'anonymous' and if you have so little understanding of the people you're meeting, perhaps you shouldn't. Medic alert bracelets always make sense, conscious or not. Moreover, if you are in a situation that is threatening in any way, you need to just leave immediately.

For me, group play is often best as an extension of friendship. Don't get me wrong, when I began I did experiment with 'meet and mate' experiences. They were great too. This had mostly to do with the party host and not some grand insight on my part.

As far as sex with other men being more fulfilling or helping out where my hubby is deficient is a laughable concept to me. Sex is fun, sex with other people is fun and that's where it begins and ends for most of us.

[JofRIT]

Just putting in my 2 cents worth... I'm pretty inexperienced but here's some things that come to mind.

To be on the safe side, I leave my credit and debit cards at home and head out with maybe $40 cash in my pocket. It's enough to pay for a meal and some gas, but if it gets stolen, whatever. Note that I've never been in a situation where I've worried about this... it seems I've only met really nice, respectable couples who wouldn't dream of going through a guy's wallet--hopefully this trend continues.

I've only been with a few couples, but it's been very clear in all of them that the man is very confident in his sexual skills, and with good reason. I know and they know that I'm just a guy for friendly conversation and sex, and I'm fine with that. Frankly, I don't ever expect to meet a couple where the man is considered "deficient", and I don't really want to.

I'm not too worried about going to somebody's place and ending up at the bottom of a well, "Silence of the Lambs" style. Anybody who wants to do that could probably have a basement full well before I come along

[absingleman]

I just remembered something I do so often I don't even think of it as a safety precaution. Before I even tell anyone about me, I ask them about local coffee shops chain restaurants like TGIFridays or Applebees. I don't get into the sex talk until they let me know they are willing to talk about normal stuff. I don't meet many swingers that want to talk about where they eat before they talk about their favorite positions. I don't even consider them for further conversation becasue it makes me feel unimportant to them. I know swinging is just recreational sex, but if I'm going to spend the time to travel 100 plus miles to meet someone, I want to know something about them other than her bra size. From there it is easy to determine their motives, habits, and whether or not both are on board or if one is pressuring the other to swing. Trouble usually starts when one party is expecting more or is prepared for less than the other party.

BTW, where is the next party? I'm tired of being the good guy. Its time to get baaad again. LOL

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by absingleman

I just remembered something I do so often I don't even think of it as a safety precaution. Before I even tell anyone about me, I ask them about local coffee shops chain restaurants like TGIFridays or Applebees. I don't get into the sex talk until they let me know they are willing to talk about normal stuff. I don't meet many swingers that want to talk about where they eat before they talk about their favorite positions.

Oh dear, I just posted some comments in another thread that are probably going to get me red-dotted, set aflame and driven off the board. But are we the only couple who notices WHAT people eat and drink when we're meeting at a restaurant for the first time? Heavy pasta dishes with cream sauce served with wine, or Chef's salad and bottled water? Garlic wings and (lots and lots of) cheap beer, or lean cuts of white meat, grilled with veggies and diet soda?

The Burrito Grande Special (with extra Jalapenos) and Tequila shots?

Why should it even matter?

God help us. We are SO shallow.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2

...are we the only couple who notices WHAT people eat and drink when we're meeting at a restaurant for the first time?

Well... I dunno... I "notice" what they order, sure. It is there on the table in front of me.

"Hmmm... That looks good..."

or

"Hmmm... That looks positively disgusting..."

I doubt I've ever come up with an opinion about someone based on what they order though. The closest I came was when some new friends ordered calamari as an appetizer for everyone to share. I decided then and there that I was not going to allow them to order the appetizer for the entire table again unless I was sure I would like it.

Still - they were great playmates...

Spoomonkey