single guys homes

[sweetrosy1956]

ok i have never posted before and hopefully some one can help we have been finding hookups on line and so far the worst thing to come up has been no-shows--un-tell now we have been chatting with this guy who's profile and him says that he is single, and we like the mfm so were thinking very highly on meeting this guy now here is the problem he re fusses to meet us in public claiming that he's tired of all the no-shows he insists on his private home- has given us his address and how to get there and his home number- im not to sure about this private home deal- if it was a couple it probably would be less scary so anyone have any thought's on this is meeting a single guy for the first time be in his home?? or should we stick with meeting in public as we always have???

[new2wild]

I would stick with public, No way would I do the first meet at his home. Just seems like a common sense rule to me.

[ShellyM]

If you are uncomfortable than he needs to compromise, as simple as that. I understand that he is pro-active because he has been stood up...this is understandable. However, you can talk with him on the phone, this shows that you are a real person. I would never meet a person at their home, not only feels strange but thats very personal.

[lost_j1]

I would say meet in public at dinner or something to see how things go. This way if there is not na attraction you are not committed by being at his home.

[Reef99]

Definately meet in public. If this guy is interested he will meet you in public. There is NO WAY I would go to his home. You have no idea what may happen when you get there.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Reef99

Definately meet in public. If this guy is interested he will meet you in public. There is NO WAY I would go to his home. You have no idea what may happen when you get there.

Agreed. I mean though, a woman can be raped in a hotel room just as well as in an apartment if the guy is a lunatic. I think that its just more personal...I'm NOT being his girlfriend for the night lol, I'm there to have a great time sexually...use his body as he uses mine for a while and go home with or to my husband and children...my husband is the one that I want to reap the real benefits. Jay and I have an absolute rule that we do NOT snuggle or spoon with play partners after play. I'll lay there talking with you and I'll give you a kiss to say thank you. But I am not falling asleep in your arms, that to us is the ultimate in intimacy. This is our most steadfast rule in swinging.

[socolais]

If you're uncomfortable with a first meeting at his house, that's all it takes. Either find someone else or somewhere else. Surely there's a starbucks in the neighborhood that would serve as neutral ground.

On the otherhand, every encounter carries some risk. I think it's unlikely this is some nefarious trap where you'll suffer physical harm. Tell a friend you're going and have them give you a call after your arrival - if you don't answer, call the cops. The phone call is a perfect milestone to evaluate the evening. If things aren't going so well, it's an easy segue for your departure.

Does he have certifications that look real??? Drive around his neighborhood and through the alleys too. Call the police and ask about any unusual activity in the neighborhood (don't give the cops his actual address, use street intersections to describe the area).

[JW n Laci]

We meet only single guys and it's always in public. IMO, he shouldn't be making such requests. Maybe requests such as this is one reason he's stood up so often.
We've never been stood up, but we have had many cancel shortly before the meeting time (some of the excuses are funny, and lies....one forgot his lie and busted himself on it 2 months later....that was funny ) then never hear back from the guy again.

[purpletiger]

I would vote no on this one also - until after a meet and seeing if there is a connection, we wouldn't even consider that - it would be a Thanks, but no thanks.

I can understand him not wanting to commit to dinner and be stood up - it's not like a couple who can have a great time together - he's eating alone.

As an alternative, I would suggest drinks at a local place or as mentioned above Starbucks (not our favorite coffee), then at least he can have a cup of coffee and leave.

Good Luck!

[des1re06]

Well, he thinks too much of himself doesn't he!

If he won't agree to somewhere public that's close to his home (you're compromising by picking somewhere near him), then forget it.

Remember this: there are many single men available in this lifestyle who are not assholes.

You are allowing him into your relationship so you be in charge!

If he won't bend, then move along. He's not really interested in meeting you, and it will be a bad experience for you. Trust me on this.

climbing off high horse now.

Mrs. D

[tribbles]

Ask him to pick a place really close to HIS home so that he doesn't have to go far, in case of a no show...and then if all feels right, you can go back to his house.

Just give his address and name and all the info and date you meet to someone you trust....then if anything did go wrong, someone knows where to hunt for the guy.

[absingleman]

I ALMOST understand where this guy is coming from. For one, he has been stood up often by couples that have cold feet. Then he reads about all the couples that say they don't contact single men anymore because they always get stood up. So he decides to make couples prove they are interested in MFM and serious about meeting him by asking them to meet at his place.

Giving someone his home address might sound like a good idea in his head, but it is trying too hard to appear serious about swinging. That is extremely naive and dangerous for him. He may be the nicest person in the world (probably why he gets stood up...women can't stand nice men they aren't married to for some reason LOL), but he doesn't know how to make others commit to him. He is trying to take a shortcut by making himself seem more vulnerable than you, and he is shooting himself in the foot in the process.

If you are really interested in meeting him, try and explain to him how revealing his home too soon is not just dangerous for him, but unsettling for you. Explain that divulging too much information too soon makes it feel like he is hiding something bigger and that meeting somewhere neutral REALLY is the best idea, and not because he is a single man.

[absingleman]

OP

I didn't see you were from Michigan. This is NOT a single male friendly state, which is probably the cause of his desperation. Again, tell him if he isn't brave enough to meet you in public, you cannot be sure he will be up to the job he is applying for.

Its not a nice thing to say, but it will get him to either propose an alternative to meeting at his home first or give up swinging altogether.

[Alura]

Somewhere in these forums is a horror story from a couple who met a single man in a hotel room. I don't remember the details but —trust us— you don't want to do it.

You have nothing to prove to him. This lifestyle is all about couples. Singles are guests, and single men are —as they say— "a dime a dozen."

Alura

[funseekers45]

Gee,single guy here,I would want to meet in public,I'm not that super neat,and it would drive me crazy having to clean.