Single guys (how they are treated)

[Flori_DAMAN]

The fact that there seems to be an influx of single females onto this board lately hasn't escaped my notice.

I'd bet that a lot of them have been lurking for a while now.

I'd just like to point out that I have been around this board for a couple of years both as a single and as half of a couple.

Many people on here have heard me rant and rave and just plain vent a few times (very few LOL), ahem, but I have always been treated respectfully by the regulars.

I hear some guys complain about how single males are treated inferior compared to single females in the swinging world and have often engaged in debate on this subject never taking either side because I have been on both sides. Well, I've never been a single female...but both a swinging half of a couple and a single male.....just to clear that up..ahem.

But for my two cents worth maybe the single females are feeling more comfortable "coming out" now because they understand that everyone is welcome and not judged by there relationship status but by how truthfully they express themselves on this particular site.

Very few have said that single males should be banned from swinging, but lots of advice has been offered on how to have a better swinging experience by not being pushy or obnoxious etc.

When a single male spouts off about how mistreated he is he is almost begging for generalized critisism and will predictably be responded to with horror stories that many couples have had with single males.

Perhaps the new single females would care to engage in conversation about how they feel they are treated in the lifestyle.

I don't look on this board as a site to "hook up" with. I see this as an informational forum that is available for anyone involved in or interested for any reason in the true swinging lifestyle.

Maybe it is time to have a "single females" section or maybe just a "swinglers" for both. Just a thought.

And everyone get that t-shirt cuz when you go to a club and find another one you will have a great conversation starter.

Thanks to all that have been with me through my ups and downs lately. I honestly appreciate your patience with my mood swings, the times I got drunk and posted crap I wish I never did; and the encouragement to stay with my friends.

To those that disagree with me; cheers to you too cuz everyone is entitled to do that.

John.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

But for my two cents worth maybe the single females are feeling more comfortable "coming out" now because they understand that everyone is welcome and not judged by there relationship status but by how truthfully they express themselves on this particular site.

Very few have said that single males should be banned from swinging, but lots of advice has been offered on how to have a better swinging experience by not being pushy or obnoxious etc.

When a single male spouts off about how mistreated he is he is almost begging for generalized critisism and will predictably be responded to with horror stories that many couples have had with single males.

Perhaps the new single females would care to engage in conversation about how they feel they are treated in the lifestyle.

Excellent topic John. I too have noticed that there has been a substancial increase of single females regeistering. I for one am glad to see it as I feel that getting opinions from all sides of the fence can be nothing but beneficial for everyone.

Hopefully the single women and men will respond to this topic and add their experiences so that we will get a better view of how they each perceive it and how they feel treated by couples and each other.

Your idea of "swinglers" forum sounds pretty good to me, but then I think that is one of the reasons Julie has the General Swingers Forum.

You are a great spokesperson for all men in general John as you have been on both sides of the fence and always seem to start some thought provoking topics which help us couples to understand how both sides feel.

Thanks!

Lori

[leo]

Much of the info is well put, and I fear that I'll just add my '02 cents that doesn't help much.

Having swung as part of a couple, and now single, I've seen both sides of the coin. I'll admit that in some instances, I've found some couple's clubs to be very exclusive, only wanting exclusive long-term couples with couples, and others to be more open.

As a single guy, I find it hard to find women who aren't against the "lifestyle" and who feel threatened by it, even if it means they can have sex with other men! I can find plenty of dates, but finding ones who will be more adventurous sexually is tough. So I end up as a dreaded single guy...

And I'm not pushy, rude, etc. As a friend put it, a really nice guy.

In the past I've swung with women partially because they were friends and didn't have anybody else thay could go with; we weren't a dating couple. But maybe that's why we had such fun; there was no baggage or worry or pressure.

One odd problem I ran into was with a female friend who wasn't into other women too much; some women at the clubs expected her to welcome the touch of a woman. In her words, "I want dick, not pussy". This is one thing that I've often found in swing clubs, that women like other women is generally assumed, but men don't want other men fooling around with them.

Gals? Input from your side??

leo

[BiloxiCouple]

Alot of good advice to people looking for it. Thanks.

[JustAskJulie]

Great topic John and great timing. Just before reading this I was reading through the other sections of the board and seeing some of the latest intros from single female as well as some of the newest topics from single women and thinking that maybe it is finally time to give them a forum of their own.

Whatever the reason they are finally coming out of the woodwork it is great to see them and see that "they do exist".

You are right John, it isn't about what your status is but about how you represent yourself (including attitude and honesty).

[BiloxiCouple]

I talk to single guys quite a bit. Because I do fly solo and she does too. Some of them advice I give them is to watch their body language. If a lady comes up to the bar, (singles are restricted to the bar) they should make polite conversation. Your restricted not silenced.

I have noticed when the single females come to the club. The crowd doesn't immediatly run up to them either. But it's also hard to tell who is single or a couple. And since single females are rare I guess most people assume they are part of a couple. Hopefully more and more will be coming out. And single females also need a positive attitude and honesty. (ran into a negative single female one time and kept running!)