Advice regarding meeting people on swinger sites

[Tom4Fun]

My advice to single swingers looking to meet real people on swingers sites or any other personals sites: Caveat emptor ("buyer beware"). Save your cash and go to a club, restaurant or bar and meet real people..

[absingleman]

truth

[ShellyM]

Its true that there are LOTS of fakers on internet sites.....couples have as many issues as singles, trust ME. However, we have many, many friends that we have met through sls. True, going to the clubs and meet and greets you find "real" people...but alot of them aren't real swingers. You just have to learn how to ask specific questions in what you are looking for. Shelly

[swyngtyme]

1) There isn't anything like a simple meet and greet in this area. This geographical part of the swingers community has never heard of such a thing. I've asked.

2) Save my money and go to a club where I pay $30 just to get in the door? That doesn't quite add up.

[ShellyM]

Whatever floats your boat and works for you is fine...I just do not want the OP to think that you absolutely cannot find real people on sites, because we have and yes, you can.
Shelly

[WeMayTryIt]

Obviously, I don't know the original poster, know what his profile is like or how he communicates with couples, so this may not apply to him. We've been contacted by many, many single males, and not one--not a single one--has made even a feeble attempt at:

• Indicating that they have any clue what their role is
• Pretending they've read a single word of our profile
• Showing they have any idea who we are or what we are looking for

On the other hand, we've met several couples who are genuine and obviously know who they're talking to and what we expect. Our experience tells us that the problem is with the single males, not the couples (in general--of course there are flaky couples too). Again, this may not apply to the original poster, but it never hurts to check the mirror, just in case.

[swyngtyme]

Originally Posted by WeMayTryIt

Obviously, I don't know the original poster, know what his profile is like or how he communicates with couples, so this may not apply to him. We've been contacted by many, many single males, and not one--not a single one--has made even a feeble attempt at:

• Indicating that they have any clue what their role is
• Pretending they've read a single word of our profile
• Showing they have any idea who we are or what we are looking for

On the other hand, we've met several couples who are genuine and obviously know who they're talking to and what we expect. Our experience tells us that the problem is with the single males, not the couples (in general--of course there are flaky couples too). Again, this may not apply to the original poster, but it never hurts to check the mirror, just in case.

Well, it's good to know that, in my case, I should stand head and shoulders above the crowd, then.

[Tom4Fun]

Originally Posted by WeMayTryIt

Obviously, I don't know the original poster, know what his profile is like or how he communicates with couples, so this may not apply to him. We've been contacted by many, many single males, and not one--not a single one--has made even a feeble attempt at:

• Indicating that they have any clue what their role is
• Pretending they've read a single word of our profile
• Showing they have any idea who we are or what we are looking for

On the other hand, we've met several couples who are genuine and obviously know who they're talking to and what we expect. Our experience tells us that the problem is with the single males, not the couples (in general--of course there are flaky couples too). Again, this may not apply to the original poster, but it never hurts to check the mirror, just in case.

Yeah, I hear you on this one.. However, I'm not in a couples situation.. Again, which my point has become ad nausem so far in this forum, my profile isn't immature or offensive.. I've been very polite and respectful and not pushy..I've read many suggested approaches to profiles, and yet no real deal.. It's very dissappointing when all you get is a bunch of spam because you contacted someone on a so-called reall swing site..All I really want to do is meet real people who are sincere..

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by Tom4Fun

My advice to single swingers looking to meet real people on swingers sites or any other personals sites: Caveat emptor ("buyer beware"). Save your cash and go to a club, restaurant or bar and meet real people..

If you mean swingers clubs, the restaurant or bar would be better place to spend your money. Clubs are not the way to go for most guys, IMHO. Yes, a few guys do get lucky in swing clubs, but they're usually young and good looking guys who would get even luckier in regular bars. Most of the guys there are wasting their money, I feel.

My husband had 2 three-somes before we were married. The first was in Cancun when he was 25 with a couple twice his age. He says he still has nightmares over that one, LOL! The other was with 2 women who used to come into his gym. He doesn't talk about that one very much, so it was either very good or very bad.

We were on AFF as a couple for a while and we got spammed to death also, so I don't think it's just a singles thing.

[fordman460]

Doesnt seem like a huge amount of action in Phoenix either.

[tribbles]

Numb, the other states may be different for single males but here in SoCal, clubs are the way to go from 18-80 (Ok, so the oldest admitted age was only 74 but I bet some are 80!)

Single guys need to check out their areas to find out what is and isn't going to work best for them. SoCal and the right club on the right night and the OP would get more than he could handle.

Maybe he knows that and that is why he is suggesting others follow his lead and try swingers clubs in their areas?

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Tom4Fun

My advice to single swingers looking to meet real people on swingers sites or any other personals sites: Caveat emptor ("buyer beware"). Save your cash and go to a club, restaurant or bar and meet real people..

Your negativity towards swinger ad sites is very apparent but, just because they have not worked for you, does not mean that they haven't worked for others. As I have stated before, we meet the majority of the single men we play with off of ad sites so...they do work for some.

As for the "saving cash" comment...how much money are you saving by only going to clubs, bars and restaurants? I know for us we can easily drop over a 100 bucks on a one time visit to any of the aforementioned places and not talk to or meet anyone at all. Yes, for a single person it could be less but, it could be the same or more depending on the venue.

Swinging ad sites are only one small piece of the puzzle when it comes to meeting people...for singles or couples.

For single men, yes it is harder but it is NOT impossible. Regardless of whether or not it's an ad, going to a club, bar or restaurant it takes effort and time, as well as money.

A single man will only be as successful in the swinging world, as he is in the vanilla world. If anyone (couple or single) isn't meeting people in the vanilla world, chances are they won't in the swinging world and it might be time to take a look at themselves and figure out what it is that they're doing wrong and figure out how to fix it.


Teresa

[gandm]

We're a couple that is open to single men on ad sites and at clubs.

Some clubs in our area do not cater to single men and the people that go there aren't very into single men either. We've seen some good single guys get kind of "beaten down" at these clubs because the prevailing attitude is that no one wants them there. But we have found one club that has many couples that look for single men and several single men do hook up there every time we're there. We have only met a small few at this particular club that don't handle themselves very well. They're not being disrespectful or anything, they're just making mistakes really. And that is about all that holds them back. You do not have to be young or super attractive to hook up. But you do have to have something going for you.

Anyway my point is that the right club does exist and the people you're looking for are out there. The same thing applies to vanilla clubs. If you go to a hangout that is filled with hot 20-somethings and you're warm and middle-aged, you will get nowhere and feel invisible or foolish.

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by gandm

But we have found one club that has many couples that look for single men and several single men do hook up there every time we're there. We have only met a small few at this particular club that don't handle themselves very well. They're not being disrespectful or anything, they're just making mistakes really. And that is about all that holds them back. You do not have to be young or super attractive to hook up. But you do have to have something going for you.

This wouldn't be the club in Dayton where the hostess and some of the female guests don't have any teeth, would it?

[LOL_OMG]

We have said this in other posts but apparently it needs repeated. We searched 3 different clubs for a single guy to have an mfm with. Not one guy we met had a clue how to approach a couple, that fact itself amazed us. We looked on SLS and within a week found a guy that got it and we all had a great time. Were we lucky? Perhaps, and we're sure that other couples have had the exact opposite expierence. Both methods have there ups and downs, but if you thorougly read a profile that has pics, and listen when you do talk to the guy then it just might be a fun expierence.

Lol_Omg