Advice for single guys

[funbuddy]

In my experience as a single guy, when I have placed my profile on a swingers site, I will let interested couples contact me first, instead of me bombarding others with sometimes unwanted e-mails. There are a lot of couples that do not want to get e-mails from single guys, so I will just let them e-mail me if interested.

I am extremely grateful to the couples who have asked me (and allowed me) to be invited to house parties. I have met most of the people that I know in the swinging community through parties. I think parties are often a better way to meet people than through ads. As a single guy, I consider it a privilege to be invited to a house party, and therefore, do not want to abuse that privilege.

There are a lot of quality single guys out there, and I am thankful to those who have allowed me to attend their parties, and given me that opportunity to meet other swingers.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by funbuddy

There are a lot of quality single guys out there, and I am thankful to those who have allowed me to attend their parties, and given me that opportunity to meet other swingers.

We agree with you on this. We have met several really nice guys at parties that we may overlook on a swinger's site. The trick for the single guy is to be good enough to get invited in the first place. Then if he is all that he'll dazzle the hell out 'em.

Mr. WS

[Tom4Fun]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

We agree with you on this. We have met several really nice guys at parties that we may overlook on a swinger's site. The trick for the single guy is to be good enough to get invited in the first place. Then if he is all that he'll dazzle the hell out 'em.

Mr. WS

Define "good enough."

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

Here's some advice for single guys... don't make your handle SLUTLOVINGUY. I've never seen Mrs. WS click "block" so fast.

Meeting on sites can be very hard for a single guy (thanks to SLUTLOVINGUY above), and only a couple have ever worked out for us. But the one's that have were really different in their profile and their emails to us. They have also remained friends to this day. A well written profile that says more than "I am horny and very open" (I didn't make that up, it's copy and paste) and has pictures that are not of his dick will get a single guy's foot in the door. The rest is up to him to be charming in person.

Mr. WS

It's stated very clearly in our profile that if a single male sends a picture of his cock, it will immediately be deleted. This sounds harsh, but it's how we feel. :surrender We know what a cock looks like, we don't need to see another picture of one. We understand that men are just trying to sell themselves and I'm sure that there are women and couples out there that base their opinions of a person on his johnson. We're not one of them. We don't mind the butt shots of men, but Mrs. LFM LOVES to look at PG and G rated photos of men. They don't have to be face shots, and they don't even have to be clothed, as long as there is no cock in the photo.

As the Mrs. of this duo, I also delete emails because of the name a single man might give himself. PUSSYLICKER, DEEPTHROATFORME, SWALLOWMEWHOLE, PUSSYRIDER... To me, it says that they are NOT respectful toward women or couples. They're just out looking to get their rock off.

My $0.02

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by Tom4Fun

Define "good enough."

I think what Mr WS is trying to say (correct me if I'm wrong, please) is being respectful of BOTH the husband and the wife, honest, not pushy, and isn't afraid to strike up a conversation with the male of a couple instead of waiting till he goes to the bathroom and then zoom in on his wife.

I believe exhibiting those qualities time and time again proves you are a single male of great character. You'd be the belle of the ball around here, and that's not a bad thing.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Tom4Fun

Define "good enough."

Well, to get your foot in the door, or at least a couple to look at and possibly read your profile take LFM2's advice above. They said it very succinctly and in my verbose manner I could go on and on.

In fact I will for a moment. Actual profile of an guy that emailed us today:

ABOUT ME:
ready to fuck

WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR:
hot wet sex

Here's another one:

ABOUT ME:
im tall athletic horny and ready ... so if u want to try a young good looking guy msg me

WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR:
women that are ready and down for anything .. i need my fantasies to be fulfilled

Umm... yeah. You can see why we replied "Sorry, we're not compatible." And we weren't lying.

See that stuff is not "good enough". Good enough is taking time to thoughtfully fill out your profile and talk about something other than how you would love giving the Mrs. oral sex, how long you last, etc.

Again, it never ceases to amaze me what guys will say to a woman on a swinger's site that they would never in a million years say to a woman on Match.com or hitting on her in a bar. They think that for some reason swinger women get-off on that. If they approached couples in the same manner they approached non-swinger women they'd have allot better luck.

I know we're not alone when we say we wish there were more "good" single male candidates. We'd add allot more of them to our playtime. Believe me when I tell you that Mrs. WS wishes it could get past the first email. For her flirting is foreplay. Mrs. WS loves the flirty emails back and forth while at work or when she's online at home. But, when we get things like what I've copy-and-pasted in the above posts you can see why it never gets that far.

Mr. WS

[LOL_OMG]

We have had one mfm. The mrs. told me to line it up so I did. First thing was to look at the profiles, the one I picked had NO dick pics, in fact it was a very vanilla photo spread but also very respectfully written. I sent him an email, he was very receptive and the three of us met the following week for a drink. Things went so well we proceded back to our place and had a great time. We have never met a couple and played the same night so in that aspect it was a first. There is a moral in here somewhere for you single guys, just hope you can figure it out.

Mr.

[lovinher]

There is a moral in here somewhere for you single guys, just hope you can figure it out.

Pay the bar tab?

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by lovinher

Pay the bar tab?

That's a good start!

[LOL_OMG]

Originally Posted by lovinher

Pay the bar tab?

Damn, I missed that moral myself, pretty sure my tab carried the....load.

Mr.

[EternallySingle]

Originally Posted by LOL_OMG

We have had one mfm. The mrs. told me to line it up so I did. First thing was to look at the profiles, the one I picked had NO dick pics, in fact it was a very vanilla photo spread but also very respectfully written. I sent him an email, he was very receptive and the three of us met the following week for a drink. Things went so well we proceded back to our place and had a great time. We have never met a couple and played the same night so in that aspect it was a first. There is a moral in here somewhere for you single guys, just hope you can figure it out.

Mr.

The moral of the story is that if you are a smart single man that has written an intelligently sexy profile, once in a blue moon a couple looking for a single man for whatever reason might come across your profile, agree to meet with you at a time where you don't have any plans (difficult for a single person with a life of any kind), and when you meet, things click and everybody wins.

But for me, that is too much like bingo. A lot of time waiting for someone to call the right series of numbers, and someone calls BINGO just when your number shows up in the video monitor. I haven't played bingo in ten years. Its been two since I've even checked my Swing Lifestyle profile. Tired of waiting, and there aren't that many places where I can be even a little proactive so...

Online swing sites works, and it is probably the way many single men get involved in swinging. The trick with dating web sites (not just swing sites)is getting someone to take you seriously before they meet you in person. That is hard to do, especially if you are a single person who volunteers with a youth group, works one and a half jobs six days a week, volunteers at the senior center, goes on dates because he likes meeting new people, hangs out with friends, does freelance work writing for local newspapers covering high school sporting events, and goes on a lot of first dates just because he likes meeting new people. How does someone verify you are real if you are only on late at night, and sometimes not online for a week or two at a time because you are too tired, then on every day for the next two weeks because things slowed up?

I don't doubt the people who say they have met quality people on the internet. I have, but in ten years I can count them on both hands and my left foot. If you have an active life and is single, you really don't have time to commit to building a relationship online. I can't talk for all single men, but if I'm going to invest time to building a relationship online, single women are going to be way higher on my list than couples, no matter how much I would like to get back into swinging. If I decide to invest that kind of energy into a couple, that couple HAS TO IMPRESS ME AS MUCH AS I MUST HAVE IMPRESSED THEM. Most couples that have said they wanted to meet me only mentioned that the wife thought I was hot and the husband thought I was cool. Not a one gave me a single reason not to hang out with my buddies, let alone not look for a single woman to hook up with for the weekend. Sex won't get it. I can get sex from a single woman with a lot less effort.

Now if I could meet a single woman online that is into swinging and wasn't afraid of starting a relationship with a single man that is into swinging where she wasn't looking for another guy to escort her to couples only events and occasionally one on one sex...but they are the rarest kind of single female swinger. There are a few, but none that I've seen that live NEAR me. Too many opportunities for single women to pay attention to single men that are online.

Its not that it doesn't work, but the odds are not in a single man's favor. The effort to meet someone online is better spent looking for a single woman than a couple. In the back of their minds, I think most couples are thinking the same thing and the effort some single men put into making a good "I'm a swinger" impression probably thows up those "This guy is just out to get laid and won't care a thing about me" flags that the married/attached women used to use to determine which men they should avoid when they were single.

As for the original poster, right sentiment, but the wrong attitude, in my opinion. Its not that there aren't quality couples and single women, but I've been contacted by too many that didn't offer me enough incentive to choose them over a single woman I met at the supermarket or on an online dating site. Numbers count, and the numbers against single men on swing sites just doesn't make it worth the effort.

[EternallySingle]

I'm not being negative. I liked swinging...when I was part of a couple. Not so much as a single man. Thats life. For some, the single life is full of opportunities and freedom. Swinging isn't one of those freedoms for me. For some single men it is. I guess I'm just one of those wifeless husbands (thats what a lady at church called me. I liked it LOL)