Advice for single guys

[EternallySingle]

Now, if someone ASKED for a pic I would send it. I had one woman on SLS call me a fake because I wouldn't send her one. Come to think of it, some of her comments sounded like something a guy would say, but what do I know.

[4HavNfunHung]

I find this issue confusing. There are a lot of mixed messages on the net about this topic. I am very inexperienced to swinging but have growing fantasies about it. This and other factors have lead me to look around enough to notice that a lot of couples that are interested in a MFM do seem to be interested in endowment. And many seem to be interested in another male specifically for this quality – sometimes stating so on profile etc. Its like some are requesting hung men but don’t wish to hear about it.

It seems from reading everyone’s thoughts in this thread that the majority don’t appreciate ’instant cock’ in their ‘instant messages’. I don’t blame them – to me it is kind of crass to blast out a blatant cock shot as one’s swinging business card. Not to mention why would us guys want to expose our personal photo to an absolute stranger.

But, given that a lot of us agree that cock shock isn’t a very effective icebreaker, what approach should a gentleman take to communicate his physical eligibility to those couples that do mention certain criteria and preferences on their profiles and ads?

But, given that a lot of us agree that cock shock isn’t a very effective icebreaker, what approach should a gentleman take to communicate his physical eligibility to those couples that do mention certain criteria and preferences on their profiles and ads?

Get to know them as a person first. That talk will come up plenty soon. If its in your profile that you are well endowed they already know that. Some single males will have their cock shots in with their profile which is fine. But then they feel the need to send pic after pic of it. We have never met any of those. They go straight into "Deleteville" where they remain for ever. Blasting the screen with a cock shot is not the way to get what you want.

[4HavNfunHung]

Thank you very much for the response Naughty,
And, I can completely see why you would delete those men that are so devoid of other, perhaps more fundamental assets or characteristics, that to them putting their best foot forward means putting “it” plastered on your screen right off the bat - not very sophisticated or creative to be sure!

[C&D]

Originally Posted by 4HavNfunHung

But, given that a lot of us agree that cock shock isn’t a very effective icebreaker, what approach should a gentleman take to communicate his physical eligibility to those couples that do mention certain criteria and preferences on their profiles and ads?

Start with a simple hi my name is so and so. I've viewed your profile and feel that I fit the criteria of the type of person you are searching for. Please view my profile and respond if you agree. Thank you.

If you are indeed the type of person they are searching for trust me...you will get a response.


D

[EternallySingle]

Talk to them like you talk to everyone else. The trick I use is I record my email on a tape recorder or my computer's sound recorder, then play it back and write it down. You'll be surprised how easier it is to speak something than it is to think it and write it. You'll also find that by using that approach you are less likely to make crude or overt sexual comments. After that is done, check it for grammer and spelling, then send it.

While I haven't had the chance (or desire really) to try that approach on an ad from a swing site lately, if I ever decide I want to meet a couple from online, thats what I'll do. I actually got a date for this weekend from Mingles using that technique, so I know it works with single women not involved in swinging. Should work for single women and couples who swing as well. Then again, people who swing are wierd. Surrender

[Tom4Fun]

Don't bother signing up for swinging sites. Save your time and money. The chances of you hooking up is statistically the same as getting hit by lightning twice.

You will have a greater chance of meeting people by going out to local bars or by signing up on the mainstream sites. I've tried. Most of the time people think that you're a cheating husband/boyfriend or they just don't want to sift throught the hundreds of emails they get from single guys, which is understandable.

It also doesn't matter how well you write your profile or how polite and respectable you are. If you do get a reply, it's phishing from someone contracted by an adult website (webcams etc.). So save your money and time.

[TNT]

Considering that we meet a lot of the single men we play with off of swinger ad sites, I'd hate to see them stop posting ads.

There are a lot of couples who do enjoy playing with single men so it is possible to find compatible couples on the swinger ad sites.


Teresa

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

What we have found with the singles we have met is that the ones that do have good luck in the lifestyle have it in most areas of their dating and night life. If you have a life outside of the lifestyle (i.e. dates) and can met women at regular bars and other venues then you'll do pretty well on the swinger sites and have no trouble hooking up with interested couples.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[tribbles]

I suggest guys start as free members, if possible, and for the most part let couples and single women come to them in the beginning. View profiles and get the 'hang' of how it all works...and use the sites to find the local parties that allow single guys and GO to them!
Then if they want to pay for membership to keep in touch with people at parties and carefully choose who to send email to that they might meet, go for it.

Parties are the total best way to meet real people IMO.

[EternallySingle]

I have to agree with the OP. I'm sorry, but in the last five years, there have only been six couples and one single woman I would have considered meeting off of a swing site, and all seven were after I decided I wasn't going to actively pursue swinging until certain areas of my personal life were more under control. Almost all of my past contacts came from women I was dating or guys I met out and about. I used to have a knack for spotting and hooking up with bisexual women, and through them I got invited to house parties or was asked to join them at a club or as a fourth. With couples, for some reason I let it slip...before I meet or even see their wives...that I had a pretty unconventional sex life that usually involved multiple women or parties. From there the conversation turned to swinging and they managed to pull me back in just as I thought I was out.

Real life is much easier than the internet for single guys. There are a few lucky ones, but it is much easier to show someone you are real when they are looking you in the eye instead of reading something on a computer screen.

just my experience. yours may vary

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by TNT

Considering that we meet a lot of the single men we play with off of swinger ad sites, I'd hate to see them stop posting ads.

There are a lot of couples who do enjoy playing with single men so it is possible to find compatible couples on the swinger ad sites.


Teresa

I agree with these statements. We live in an area where there are no clubs. Not a one! It's a VERY small town (one stoplight) and where we don't go to bars around here looking for people to play with. Sites are the only place we can meet singles who are discreet also into the lifestyle.

Maybe you're from a larger area and can afford the club scene, but for us who live in smallville, I'd hate to see any single man call it quits on the sites. Just a thought

[EternallySingle]

Its more about using your time wisely than giving up. Single men can, if they choose, travel two or three states every other weekend to a swing club that will allow them to attend if they want to. Again, its then much easier, if they get in, to make a face to face impression than try with just words on a computer screen.

[WesternSwing]

Here's some advice for single guys... don't make your handle SLUTLOVINGUY. I've never seen Mrs. WS click "block" so fast.

Meeting on sites can be very hard for a single guy (thanks to SLUTLOVINGUY above), and only a couple have ever worked out for us. But the one's that have were really different in their profile and their emails to us. They have also remained friends to this day. A well written profile that says more than "I am horny and very open" (I didn't make that up, it's copy and paste) and has pictures that are not of his dick will get a single guy's foot in the door. The rest is up to him to be charming in person.

Mr. WS

[UKsexycouple]

Hi, surely the problem with single guys is that 98% of them are hard up single/married(cheating on partner) who just want free sex? some are just plain weird!

The wife and I were lucky to meet a real swinger for our first 3some a couple of years ago. He was introduced to swinging by his ex-gf (he had to move to another country) and it really showed. Nice, complimentary and very comfortable with a 3some. Compare that with all the so-called up for it single males out there. Most either dont turn up or freak out with another guy there. Or they dont get it up! That really dissapoints the wife

To be honest we found it easier to find single woman than single men who are real swingers. Couples are the way to go we have to admit (we love 3somes or two somes as we watch our partner) which is fun but you would think there would be more decent guys out there (Asia and UK not tried US yet!) All the decent one taken?