Single female left feeling like a Third Wheel

[Believe07]

As a new single female swinger .. I had dinner with my first couple on Tuesday night ... and I have to say .. as fun as they were, and as much chemistry as we all had .. I had a strange reaction I NEver thought I'd feel .. and I've never read on your forum before ........ has it happened to any other single people out there?

This couple has been together for four years ....... good looking ...... wonderful people. Very welcoming. So, they aren't married ... been together four years as I said .. and they are VERY into each other ... they were cuddly together .. bragged (in a good way) about how hot the other is .. and how they have sex at LEAST once a day .... and they are this wonderful .. and that wonderful ... and on and on ...... until I started to feel ..... a little left out? I started thinking ..... gosh ... no one is telling them how amazing I am ... How hot I am and how irresistible ... and "can you blame me? just LOOK at her!!" .... I started regretting that I didn't have a fan club ...... because honestly, I just can't brag about myself .... which is why I suck in job interviews. I am just too bashful. I mean ... okay .. obviously its all on ME to tell them how great I am ...... but ....... wow ..... that will be SO difficult.

Has anyone else come across this feeling??? I'm wondering if it was a one-time feeling or if I'll feel it again? Any tips from you veterans??

[ShellyM]

Girl, I have never personally had this happen. But I can see where your feelings would be hurt. I would have felt the same way. On the one hand, you are VERY fortunate to have found a couple that are in love with each other and drama free. TRUST ME GIRL!! Now, they should have been more sensitive to you...but hey, they are in love and doing the lovey dovey thing. Jay and I are the same way, so I can't say anything bad about that. Like I said, I wish all couples were in love like that. However, I DO see how your feelings could be hurt. Don't feel like a 3rd wheel girl, cause your not.
Best of luck,
Shelly

[EternallySingle]

Hi Believe07.

Don't let it get you down. They don't mean to act like they are on top of the world and you should have the same thing they have (each other) or you are less of a person. They are happy, they are about to do something that brings them a lot of excitement, and sometimes they can act a little insensitive to the fact that we singles are going to be going home alone and probably not have anyone we can share the experience with who won't judge us harshly.

It gets easier. At some point you will probably learn something that has kept you from finding that one person and know a little bit more about what you need to change in yourself to meet and keep that person. You will also learn to be a better judge of character and can spot those people just out to use you and those who truly want to be a part of your life, however small a part that is. You will also begin to put this swinging thing into better perspective and begin to laugh at those people that, for whatever reason, think you are beneath them because you dont have what they have. And these things will apply to your everyday life as well as your swinging activities.

And those feelings will diminish with each meeting. You'll start to see that they are not rubbing their relationship in your face or excluding you. And you'll stop feeling SO left out and find other ways to make yourself look better to them without bragging on yourself.

I can tell people I'm the greatest guy they are ever going to meet, bu I'm me, and you are you. I can say that because everyone tells me its true. :ROFLMAO

[BiloxiCouple]

For some people the world revolves around them. If they can't hold a conversation that doesn't include how "wonderful" they are, is pretty shallow to me.

It's like the couple that brags about everything they have. How much money, cars, houses and bling bling bling. Gets old doesn't it? They also want to dominate the conversation. Time to walk away.

If you were with us, you would have been included in the conversation. We want to get to know you.

[LFM2]

Mr. LFM and I agree with BiloxiCouple.

Even though I think Mr. LFM is over the top and the best lovers I've ever had, I'm not going to throw that in your face every second and Mr. LFM wouldn't do that either! I don't know if I'd want to have dinner (or sex for that matter) with people who seem to toot their own horn excessively. In fact, that is a big turn off for me, anyway.

Mr. LFM and I are pretty down to earth people and thats who we look for when we want to play. When we're having dinner with prospective males, females or couples, it's nice to know about them.

[havefuninsun]

I wonder if they were just trying to make sure you understood they were a real couple, they were really into each other, and neither one of them were looking to cheat on their mates. If you walked in there and they were both all goo-goo over you, you may have felt like meat and wanted to hit the door. Then you may have questioned either or one of their intentions.

We've never met just a single woman (sniff!), but when we meat couples, it makes me feel very good if it's clear that the couple is totally into each other, and that our play time is just that ... play time. There is no hidden agenda; they are not trying to fix a broken relationship; the green eyed monster seems to be at bay ...

I can see how you'd get your feelings hurt, though, but if I were a betting person, I'd say they'd be mortified if they knew they made you feel that way. They sound like a healthy couple and would be "safe" to play with.

Keep us posted!

[Believe07]

Ok ... its 9:30am Saturday morning and I just got home ...... from the Lovey couple's house. And WOW! I'm on cloud 9. What an AMAZING evening. I feel like doing one of those classic Singing in the Rain dance jigs. Hee!

Well as you can see, they spoiled me rotten. And I think I got down to the nitty gritty and understand the dynamic of their self-worship vs me. They simply REALLY dig each other ... and it is truly evident when you hang out with them. They're touchy, flirty, sexually charged people with each other ... and then when the lights turned low and they turned on me? WOW .. they directed that energy and attention on ME and let me tell you ... I've had a soft smile on my face since .... well since last night!

Thank you for ALL your comments ... it really helped me and I look forward to getting more of your help in the future as I experience more. I know I'll need you again!

[havefuninsun]

YAY! Sounds like great fun!!

[LFM2]

YAY!! Believe07, I'm so glad that everything turned out great for you!

[Tybee Swing]

Hi Believe,

I think this couple sounds as if they were trying to just share with you what they have, and rather than trying to make you feel like a 3rd wheel, I think they may have been trying to include you. I think they were trying to say, "We are very loving people. We're really into each other & we're secure, but we're also very excited to be including you into our little circle." Know what I mean? I think they were trying to share the love, so to speak.

And I think I got down to the nitty gritty and understand the dynamic of their self-worship vs me. They simply REALLY dig each other ...

I think that's right. I don't think they intended it to sound like self-worship, or versus you. I think they were just trying to share, and trying to include you. Does that make any sense?

[nwmifun]

Good for you believe!

LOL - and if you feel like making a trek over to the eastern side of the state, give us a holler!