emailing with a couple! what to do?!

curious24 · 02-02-2003, 02:41 AM

I need a little help because I'm not sure what exactly to do here. I got bored one night and decided to search some personal ads. I found one that seemed interesting so I sent a reply to it. They asked me for a picture since they had one on their ad so I sent them one. They replied back asking me what I was looking for and what excites me etc. So I naturally reply and I asked them the same thing etc.

However, they just replied back with "what are you doing tonight?" This is fine and all... but it made me think.

I've only seen one picture of them.. (just the woman and it was just of her body). Here's what I think I should do but want to make sure this is okay. I think I should reply and ask them for a couple of pictures of them. If they respond with a few pictures then maybe set up a meeting at a bar or something.

it just seems to me that they are kind of "jumping the gun" a bit.. and since I've never done this before I don't know what is normal and what isn't. Hence the reason why I bring it up.

Thanks!

DragonsLair · 02-02-2003, 08:38 AM

Personally, I think you'd be wise to take it slow and follow your instincts. I'd probably want at least a picture of them together. And I'd want to chat a few times, even before meeting somewhere for dinner or drinks. They might be used to moving quickly but it sounds like it makes you uncomfortable. And if they can't understand your wanting to slow down, they might not be the right playmates for you.

Go with your own instincts. I've found they're usually correct.

Good luck and keep us informed.

DragonsLair

He is T. I am A.

Handyman69 · 02-02-2003, 09:33 AM

We agree with DragonsLair. I think you can get a little insight into them after reading some of their emails. We usually begin with emails, sometimes Yahoo messenger or another chat area, then to phone call and finally a meeting. Comfort is important to us too. You got to be comfortable or you aren't going to have good time when the time comes.

Go and proceed at your own pace, don't let anyone push you. Most will understand and back off to your comfort level. Plus, as for us, takes time to set things around our schedules so we like the slower pace.

Only my 2 cents...good luck

Rhonda

**Alura** · 02-02-2003, 12:35 PM

We think pictures are just one notch above worthless.

You can eat with anybody. How bored can you be for an hour and a half? We'd meet them at the restaurant first, and find out if they can talk about anything other than sex. We'd drive our fastest car in case they couldn't.

Alura

Nymph an' Satyr · 02-02-2003, 01:21 PM

Well pictures aren't everything, but I do think they are important. Me and my wife are heavy (fat if you prefer), and we don't want to give ANY illusions. So we don't mind sending photos at all, and encorage it. There does need to be a modicum of physical attraction. That can be built upon by personality, etc. Emailing photos for us is a good starting point. And g-rated are fine.

Greg & Sheryl · 02-02-2003, 02:24 PM

It can be fun to exchange pictures when you're still at the e-mailing stage with another couple, but regardless of how long the correspondence has lasted, we are generally suspicious of online couples until we have at least one telephone conversation with them. Unfortunately, it's too easy for single men or married cheaters to masquerade on the internet as legitimate swinging couples. Until we get a chance to talk to both parties on the phone, we stay aware that the other party might turn out to be a fraud.

We don’t have any objection to spontaneously setting up a same-night meeting, but under the circumstances you gave, you were right to be hesitant. Asking for additional photos is not a bad idea, but we recommend following up with a phone call. However, there still the possibility of getting stood up even if you do talk to a real couple on the phone. No-shows are disappointingly common in this lifestyle, but establishing phone contact will reduce that possibility.

p_cnaz · 02-02-2003, 03:10 PM

We agree with what everyone else here has said. For us we prefer to talk on line a while, pictures are ok but not a requirement, we just enjoy talking to people first and getting a feel for them, and then exchange numbers so we can chat on the phone before meeting.

We had a couple send us an e-mail this pass Tuesday stating that they were visiting our city this weekend, and wanted to know if we would like to meet. Now they didn't really say what they were expecting to happen if anything, but it left an uneasy feeling for us, because we always like to keep our first meeting non-sexual, so to be sure that they understood our feelings on this we wrote back and told them we would love to meet them, and then explained how we like to do things. At the end of the e-mail we told them if all this was acceptable to them we would love to meet with them.

So like what has already been stated here, move at your on pace and don't let anyone push you into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, and if the other party is not in agreement with you then at least you have been up front with them and saved yourself some undue stress.

***JustAskJulie*** · 02-02-2003, 04:47 PM

I'm wondering, did they give an idea of what they wanted "that night". Were they just looking to meet you? Or were they looking to have you MEAT them.

If you have no qualms with hooking with someone with knowing little to nothign about them other than what they look like... and that is what they are wanting to do... then by all means ask for a couple more pics so you can feel comfortable that there will be an attraction.

If it is simply about meeting them that same night to get to know them better... then I agree with those that say that pics aren't really that important at that point.

**Alura** · 02-02-2003, 04:57 PM

Oops! We didn't realize y'all haven't talked on the phone yet. That is an early requirement for us. Meeting for lunch is our preferred second step. We will send G-rated photos but only after we are sure they are a couple.

Alura

Gwendolyn · 02-03-2003, 12:31 AM

It seems like everyone is of the same opinion. We prefer to take things slow as well. Meeting them for dinner or drinks is OK, however If it were me I would at least want to talk on the phone with them first.

Additude · 02-03-2003, 06:54 AM

Elvis said it best....."Only Fools Rush In".

The internet is anonymous, treat it as such.

OhioCouple · 02-05-2003, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Alura

You can eat with anybody. How bored can you be for an hour and a half? We'd meet them at the restaurant first, and find out if they can talk about anything other than sex. We'd drive our fastest car in case they couldn't.

I agree with Alura here. We will not play on our first meeting anyway and we always meet in a public restaurant for lunch or dinner. We make this clear up front so that there is no misunderstanding. We have only had one instance where this did not sit well with the other couple and they chose to not meet at all, which was fine with us.

If we are uncomfortable with someone during initial correspondence for what ever reason, we will not proceed to step two of meeting with them for even just a meal. We feel if there are early warning signs, to go ahead and meet for the heck could be a set-up for an even more uncomfortable situation later on.

Lori

BradAndJanet · 02-05-2003, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by OhioCouple
I agree with Alura here. We will not play on our first meeting anyway and we always meet in a public restaurant for lunch or dinner. We make this clear up front so that there is no misunderstanding. We have only had one instance where this did not sit well with the other couple and they chose to not meet at all, which was fine with us.

If we are uncomfortable with someone during initial correspondence for what ever reason, we will not proceed to step two of meeting with them for even just a meal. We feel if there are early warning signs, to go ahead and meet for the heck could be a set-up for an even more uncomfortable situation later on.

Lori

We agree too. A meal is long enough to size someone up and short enough that no one who is really uncomfortable has to squirm for long. It also helps ensure that you don't miscommunicate as a couple, because you can go home and talk about it before continuing. Finally, if anyone wants to say no, a simple email can be much less awkward for everyone.

Good advice I wish we'd followed the first time

-B

**BiloxiCouple** · 02-06-2003, 03:28 PM

Alot of good advice here. We like to meet people at the local swingers club and "feel" them out there. We have regular people we swing with. E-mails and picture trading are almost worthless. Amazing how they use that alone to get themselves off. Besides the pictures may be traded again.

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02-02-2003, 02:41 AM	#1 (permalink)
curious24 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 696 Location: austin, tx Status: Single Male	emailing with a couple! what to do?! I need a little help because I'm not sure what exactly to do here. I got bored one night and decided to search some personal ads. I found one that seemed interesting so I sent a reply to it. They asked me for a picture since they had one on their ad so I sent them one. They replied back asking me what I was looking for and what excites me etc. So I naturally reply and I asked them the same thing etc. However, they just replied back with "what are you doing tonight?" This is fine and all... but it made me think. I've only seen one picture of them.. (just the woman and it was just of her body). Here's what I think I should do but want to make sure this is okay. I think I should reply and ask them for a couple of pictures of them. If they respond with a few pictures then maybe set up a meeting at a bar or something. it just seems to me that they are kind of "jumping the gun" a bit.. and since I've never done this before I don't know what is normal and what isn't. Hence the reason why I bring it up. Thanks!

02-02-2003, 02:24 PM	#6 (permalink)
Greg & Sheryl Blogging Swingers Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 722 Location: Denver, CO Status: Couple	What to Do It can be fun to exchange pictures when you're still at the e-mailing stage with another couple, but regardless of how long the correspondence has lasted, we are generally suspicious of online couples until we have at least one telephone conversation with them. Unfortunately, it's too easy for single men or married cheaters to masquerade on the internet as legitimate swinging couples. Until we get a chance to talk to both parties on the phone, we stay aware that the other party might turn out to be a fraud. We don’t have any objection to spontaneously setting up a same-night meeting, but under the circumstances you gave, you were right to be hesitant. Asking for additional photos is not a bad idea, but we recommend following up with a phone call. However, there still the possibility of getting stood up even if you do talk to a real couple on the phone. No-shows are disappointingly common in this lifestyle, but establishing phone contact will reduce that possibility. __________________ Greg & Sheryl Our Swinging Blog

02-02-2003, 03:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
p_cnaz Active Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 33 Location: Flagstaff, AZ Status: couple	We agree with what everyone else here has said. For us we prefer to talk on line a while, pictures are ok but not a requirement, we just enjoy talking to people first and getting a feel for them, and then exchange numbers so we can chat on the phone before meeting. We had a couple send us an e-mail this pass Tuesday stating that they were visiting our city this weekend, and wanted to know if we would like to meet. Now they didn't really say what they were expecting to happen if anything, but it left an uneasy feeling for us, because we always like to keep our first meeting non-sexual, so to be sure that they understood our feelings on this we wrote back and told them we would love to meet them, and then explained how we like to do things. At the end of the e-mail we told them if all this was acceptable to them we would love to meet with them. So like what has already been stated here, move at your on pace and don't let anyone push you into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, and if the other party is not in agreement with you then at least you have been up front with them and saved yourself some undue stress. __________________ P&C

02-02-2003, 04:47 PM	#8 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,260 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	I'm wondering, did they give an idea of what they wanted "that night". Were they just looking to meet you? Or were they looking to have you MEAT them. If you have no qualms with hooking with someone with knowing little to nothign about them other than what they look like... and that is what they are wanting to do... then by all means ask for a couple more pics so you can feel comfortable that there will be an attraction. If it is simply about meeting them that same night to get to know them better... then I agree with those that say that pics aren't really that important at that point. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

02-02-2003, 08:38 AM	#2 (permalink)
DragonsLair Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 1,020 Location: Cleveland, OH Status: Married Couple	Personally, I think you'd be wise to take it slow and follow your instincts. I'd probably want at least a picture of them together. And I'd want to chat a few times, even before meeting somewhere for dinner or drinks. They might be used to moving quickly but it sounds like it makes you uncomfortable. And if they can't understand your wanting to slow down, they might not be the right playmates for you. Go with your own instincts. I've found they're usually correct. Good luck and keep us informed. DragonsLair He is T. I am A.

02-02-2003, 09:33 AM	#3 (permalink)
Handyman69 Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 553 Location: MI..God's country.so we thought. Status: Couple SLS Name:handyman69	We agree with DragonsLair. I think you can get a little insight into them after reading some of their emails. We usually begin with emails, sometimes Yahoo messenger or another chat area, then to phone call and finally a meeting. Comfort is important to us too. You got to be comfortable or you aren't going to have good time when the time comes. Go and proceed at your own pace, don't let anyone push you. Most will understand and back off to your comfort level. Plus, as for us, takes time to set things around our schedules so we like the slower pace. Only my 2 cents...good luck Rhonda

02-02-2003, 12:35 PM	#4 (permalink)
Alura T-Town Playmates Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 6,122 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Married to Mrs. Alura	We think pictures are just one notch above worthless. You can eat with anybody. How bored can you be for an hour and a half? We'd meet them at the restaurant first, and find out if they can talk about anything other than sex. We'd drive our fastest car in case they couldn't. Alura

02-02-2003, 01:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
Nymph an' Satyr Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 352 Location: Street, Maryland Status: Couple SLS Name:nymphansatyr	Well pictures aren't everything, but I do think they are important. Me and my wife are heavy (fat if you prefer), and we don't want to give ANY illusions. So we don't mind sending photos at all, and encorage it. There does need to be a modicum of physical attraction. That can be built upon by personality, etc. Emailing photos for us is a good starting point. And g-rated are fine.

02-02-2003, 04:57 PM	#9 (permalink)
Alura T-Town Playmates Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 6,122 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Married to Mrs. Alura	Oops! We didn't realize y'all haven't talked on the phone yet. That is an early requirement for us. Meeting for lunch is our preferred second step. We will send G-rated photos but only after we are sure they are a couple. Alura

02-03-2003, 12:31 AM	#10 (permalink)
Gwendolyn Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 50 Location: Las Vegas Status: M. Female	It seems like everyone is of the same opinion. We prefer to take things slow as well. Meeting them for dinner or drinks is OK, however If it were me I would at least want to talk on the phone with them first.

02-03-2003, 06:54 AM	#11 (permalink)
Additude Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 310 Location: OBX-NC	Elvis said it best....."Only Fools Rush In". The internet is anonymous, treat it as such. __________________ If you want something you have never had before, you must do something you have never done before.

02-06-2003, 03:28 PM	#14 (permalink)
BiloxiCouple YOUR PLACE OR OURS?? Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 2,755 Location: Biloxi, Mississippi Status: Couple with benefits SLS Name:graceful	Alot of good advice here. We like to meet people at the local swingers club and "feel" them out there. We have regular people we swing with. E-mails and picture trading are almost worthless. Amazing how they use that alone to get themselves off. Besides the pictures may be traded again. __________________ Billy & Elaine You can't fix stupid...

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