Question for Couples seeking single males for MFM

[Tom4Fun]

Question: How do you initiate contact? Do you just look for a picture in a profile or do you actually read the profile? Do you go to clubs to meet them in lieu of the web?

[NakedInSeattle]

web only

[VegasLee]

We talk to tons of guys online but will only consider talking to them if they have a full, complete profile with a real picture on it. If they have a close up of their dic, there is no conversation.

We will ONLY meet them at the club. 99.9% of the guys that we meet online are into the online fantasy only, they don't bother showing up when it comes time to meet reality. That is why we only meet and play at the club. If they don't show, which most online guys don't we have 100's of others there to meet and play with.

[Tom4Fun]

so you don't request pics. You only respond to ones that have pics posted?

[VegasLee]

Yes, that is right. Don't feel we should have to request pictures or anything else.

We have a complete profile with pictures and state right in it, if you don't have the same don't bother contacting us. To bad that most don't bother reading that though.

If a person is going to approach us on line, why should we have to request anything? Why not have it all there for people to decide right up front?

I run some forums and found that the people that spend the most time looking at others profiles and contacting people are the same people that have blank profiles. Makes no sense to me. We look at them as nothing more then trolls.

[Tom4Fun]

I understand what your saying. I was thinking that if you read a profile and liked it, and there was no picture, that you would request it. If I contacted someone, I would attach a pic. My problem is that I really have to be discreet because of the work I do.

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by Tom4Fun

I understand what your saying. I was thinking that if you read a profile and liked it, and there was no picture, that you would request it. If I contacted someone, I would attach a pic. My problem is that I really have to be discreet because of the work I do.

Sorry about the drive-by posting (I've got to get ready for work)...

Most of us have to be discrete because of the work we do. Most of us put pictures up anyway and are simply judicious as to the face pics.

We have pictures of us on our profile even though we, like most others, need to be discrete for work.

We aren't going to bother with writing anyone for pictures, when there are many other single male and couple profiles that do have pics. Sounds mean, I'm sure, but we don't have time for that - it's an extra step that isn't necessary just to figure out if there is any physical interest.

R.

[VegasLee]

To us keeping a profile discrete means you can tell about yourself, where you live, your age, what you like and don't like along with a nice G rated picture.

You don't have to put in your profile that you want to "DO MY WIFE".

I don't care what a persons job is, they can have a general profile without saying they are a pervert in it.

What type of job would fire a person for a general profile?

Now, if a person is hiding from their wife, that might be a different story. Seems that many "discreet" single guys have wives on the Internet.

[LOL_OMG]

Originally Posted by VegasLee

What type of job would fire a person for a general profile?

Actually Lee anything that's a civil service type, state/federal/school district or military could claim conduct unbecoming just for putting your face on a swinger's site. And certain jobs of these types have no protection or recourse such as a union or merit systems protection board.

As far as the original question, our first and only MFM was put together by Mr. We had met several singles at clubs, but they all seemed kind of stupid lol. They would approach ME when the Mr went to the bathroom or walked away for something. They had no clue that we both needed to feel comfortable with them, and right away they alienated him.

We decided that he would look for someone and surprise me (I told him please pick someone hot :p). Well he picked someone from online due to the profile and pics (fully dressed I might add) and, well, he done good. I'll tell him of this thread if he would like to address what it is he looked for.

Mrs.

[VegasLee]

Originally Posted by LOL_OMG

Actually Lee anything that's a civil service type, state/federal/school district or military could claim conduct unbecoming just for putting your face on a swinger's site. And certain jobs of these types have no protection or recourse such as a union or merit systems protection board.

Ok, I should have been clearer, I was talking about AOL and Yahoo profiles since we don't tend to get involved with to many of the swinger dating sites.

I see no reason that everyone can not have a general profile with basic information if it is not a swinging or dating site.

In Nevada they are also more lax about the rules for people here. The school district even wrote law regarding teachers online and the law pretty much is as long as it does not involve the students they can not and will not do anything about it. They found a bunch of local teachers in swingers sites and it hit the local news but the school distract showed them the rules, no involvement with students then you do what you want on your own time.

Pretty much the same with many of the other "public jobs" in Nevada. Not all but most. They take the attitude here that as long as you do your job and what you do on your own time is none of their business as long as it does not effect your job.

In some cases, times are changing.

[LOL_OMG]

Thanks Lee for the post. I thought maybe you meant a general profile on a generic site

Who wants to move to Nevada? /raises hand

Mrs

[WesternSwing]

We both look for pictures AND read the profile. We'll pass over someone with a sloppy or incomplete profile, or someone with just dick pics. Mrs. WS has said that they don't turn her on. It's who it's attached to that does, and if she clicks with him outside the bedroom than chances are inside is going to be great. But an incomplete or sloppy profile with no pics, or just dick pics, tells us that the person who posted it is not really serious about the whole thing and was just horny at 2:00 AM on Wednesday and was trying to find a date by Friday and thought swinger women would be an easy mark.

I usually let Mrs. WS handle chatting online with him since she will be the center of attention in the experience and chemistry between them is very important. She'll set-up a meeting with all three of us over dinner or drinks and see if stuff works or not.

I have to agree with VegasLee, in our experience also most "single" men usually aren't, or they are just in it for the fantasy and either don't show or chicken-out before we actually meet.

Mr. WS

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Tom4Fun

Question: How do you initiate contact?

Not actively looking at this time, but when we did, it was through responding to a very well-written profile that sparked interest and included a picture.

Originally Posted by Tom4Fun

Do you just look for a picture in a profile or do you actually read the profile?

Both. We read profiles very thoroughly before we respond to anybody.

The picture is important for a couple of reasons: It shows that he's probably sincere and savvy (likely not some guy just using the site for free porn with no intention to meet, and likely not a cheater). It also helps me determine if there's an initial attraction there. I want to see a picture of his face. Women are very attracted to the features of a man's face, especially his eyes (I think that most men underestimate this). A great portrait-style photo is my favorite, but I understand why not everybody could use this. Another type that is also interesting conceals his identity somewhat, like being partially in shadow, or wearing a cowboy hat pulled low - but you can see a smile.

If a man uses a disguised photo as his primary online photo, fine. But if he won't share a clear face shot via email (we will ask) or private gallery provided by the website, there will be no further contact.

Originally Posted by Tom4Fun

Do you go to clubs to meet them in lieu of the web?

No, mainly because we don't live close enough to swinger clubs to be regulars (just the occasional visits - have to make trips). I don't think we'd be interested in picking up single guys in regular clubs because of the likelihood that they wouldn't understand the dynamics of swinging as a single guy, protocol with a couple, etc.

[Tom4Fun]

Thanks to all for the replies. I was referring to a swing-site posting and not the type you would find on yahoo/aol or others.The original post was in the context of the swinging lifestyle and related subtopics.

Unfortunately, some people (e.g., managers or the "public") have issues with the lifestyle based on moral beliefs. Believe it or not, a person can be fired, their careers tarnished, or other negative consequences can happen to a person's career because of this (regardless of legal implications). In some careers, participation in the lifestyle has no negative consequences, while others it does. Even if you are protected by law, the cost and stress of defending yourself can be substantial. There are many couples who don't post their pictures because of this as well.

[rpu3]

I guess I'm curious as to what kind of pictures you talking about - identifying or non-identifying? Do you have non-identifying photos on your profile?

We have pics on our ad - but not face pics. Face pics are always private until we determine otherwise. But we provide a minimum context by way of body photos so that others can gauge potential physical interest in us.

We too have jobs to protect, but we can save everyone time and effort by providing non-identifying photos of ourselves, and only correspond with those that do the same.

Personally, I get a little irritated to get messages from couples or single men that want to meet with us, but won't show even a basic non-identifying body shot of the man because of his job. As if we don't also have the same need for discretion and as if I'm just suppose to be attracted sight unseen.

I think I'm safe in assuming the majority of us have jobs, reputations and families to protect. At the same time, I don't know what the big deal is to post some non-identifying photos, i.e., faces and body art blocked, neutral backgrounds, etc.

You can write a nice profile, but some of us aren't going to spend time corresponding with single men OR couples without even the most basic of photos. You can be discrete AND have a non-identifying picture or two .

JMO, of course.