why does Swingers meets cost so much for single males

[cracker0jack]

I have recently attended swingers(as a single male) meet where only a few selective single males were invite... we were ask to pay 70 buck to enter where a couple was 30 and single female 10... Oh did I mention that we had to wear glowing armbands? and could only approach a female with a glowing armband, unless other wise invited to join??? What got me was the part where 4 single females came in, and not one had an armband... so tell me... what the hell did I pay 70 bucks for??
To me its a rip off.. I think that if females come without a male than they should be fair game for everyone, just as the men should... No is No... and if there is only a selected single males then where would there be a problem???
The bottom line is... these meets don't want single males to be involved for some reason... hell, I've gotten laid a lot cheaper than what I paid to get into the meet... and that included dinner driving and the whole nine yards...lol Granted, its not all about if you get laid or not, it about meeting people and having fun...
If they pay that much to get in.. should they not be treated equal as everyone else? Should they not have the right to have fun as everyone else??
But really why does it cost so much for a single male to attend??
Granted I just moved up the Maryville Tn area recently, but I wouldn't waste my money to attend another one... with or without a date...
I think that next time... I'll just throw a house party and everyone can have fun!!!

[sexyshelby]

It is just a matter of simple economics...supply and demand.

~SS

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by cracker0jack

what the hell did I pay 70 bucks for??

Good question. Why did you?

Originally Posted by cracker0jack

I think that if females come without a male than they should be fair game for everyone...

Why should they be "fair game"? You know what the wristbands were for? They were a simple way of showing interest. Everyone who walks through the doors at the club has the option to put that glowing wristband on - to show you that they are interested. If they didn't put it on, then you know it is a waste of your time to talk to them.

Would you prefer to spend the night talking to couple after couple, single woman after single woman, only to find that they aren't interested in single men?

At least with the wristband you know who to talk to. Think of it as a tracking device...

Originally Posted by cracker0jack

should they not be treated equal as everyone else?

No - they should be treated like a single male. Trust me - the club doesn't really control how you will be treated. The couples in the club do.

Originally Posted by cracker0jack

Should they not have the right to have fun as everyone else??

You do have that right - just like everyone else. The problem is, the type of fun that most couples (and single females that we have known who are into swinging) doesn't always involve single men. So - their right to fun excludes you because you do not fit the definition.

There are couples and single females who are looking for you - you are exactly the type of fun they are looking for. And you know what - that wristband helps them find you.

Spoomonkey

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Hello,
Most of the time those rules are imposed to prevent a party or club from becoming 100 single males and 2 couples. When that happens the male half of the couple decides to find a differant party with more women, then what you have left is a sausage party. )
I'm not sure how true those worries are though. Laurie and I attend a house party group that charges $20 per couple and $15 per single of either sex. Every month a dozen or so single males sign up and every month none of them actually attend.
Laurie enjoys the occational MMF threesome. We've contacted several single males. They all talked a really good game but when it came to actually showing up they couldn't be found.
The other common issue I've heard about is the ones that aren't properly housebroken and socialized. Most of our ads have single males blocked because the ones that contact us are usually very rude.
Most people would have nothing against a nice polite dependable single male. Good luck finding one though.

[lovinher]

Dude, maybe if you want more bang for your buck a little attitude adjustment might pay off. You seem to have this attitude of entitlement because you paid to get in the door and just maybe that spills over into other aspects of your search to get laid. The disparities in attitudes towards single females and single males isn't hard to figure out. Is it fair to you? No, but it is what it is and complaining about it will not change a thing except get you nowhere.

So $70.00 bucks is too expensive to get laid? A good dinner and a couple of drinks for two can cost that much without the scenery that you get at a club. Even then there is no guarantee you will get any.
You may think I'm slamming you but the is reality I'm trying to help you.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by cracker0jack

. hell, I've gotten laid a lot cheaper than what I paid to get into the meet... and that included dinner driving and the whole nine yards...lol Granted, its not all about if you get laid or not, it about meeting people and having fun...

:beatdeadh

Hehe I'm sure its not old to you, but your question comes up every few months. A single man will post about the unfair plight of the single male at a swinger event and how their ignoble treatment is cause for righteous indignation.

If you want 100% equal rights the way is quite simple. Date for a bit, find the love of your life, marry her, and get into swinging. There you are now a full fledged swinger who gets the secret decoder ring and handshake! Until then you are a guy who wants to get laid, apparently cheaply. From a sex perspective you only have yourself to offer and as such it better be pretty damn good. Not every swinger is interested in an MFM and of those who are, not every one is interested in an MFM with a single male. On the other hand there are 1000's of horny guys who think they can get easy swinger pussy. These men are basically ignored or in your case, used by a club owner to make easy money.

So you are right in feeling used. You were used. You were used as a source of cash for the party planners, and if they had any couples coming who were into single males you were used by the planners to fill that niche.

I'm not sure what % of couples are interested in single males, and by interested I don't mean did it once, but are actively looking for single males like they are looking for couples, but even that subset of swingers laments how few single males 'get it' and how hard they are to find. If you want to be one of these few single males, you will need to have a completely different mindset. Having fun and getting laid is great but you need to be more aware of the social dynamic you are entering.

[mfmswing]

One way to look at it is like this. Many couples have profiles on sites like SLS, they put in their profile that they are willing to meet with single men and when you contact them they say they are not. The truth is that a good portion of couples in the lifestyle don’t want to meet with single men, but since they can’t find a single woman willing to meet with them, they put single men in their profile. We have been in the lifestyle for almost five years and have found that there are a lot of fakes on sites like SLS. Our experiences with clubs have been about 50/50 good to bad. Our problem with the clubs is that it seems that people there are pushy and only care about their own pleasure. Also, we have run into many people who only want to play with the female half of the couple and expect the male to just watch or find something else to do while they play. Most of the swinging friends we have we met in other ways, such as bars and through other swinging friends. So, I would have to say that some clubs charge such high prices for single men to make money by subsidizing the low rates charged for single female’s.

[Tom & Bonnie]

Originally Posted by Chicup

These men are basically ignored or in your case, used by a club owner to make easy money.

So you are right in feeling used. You were used. You were used as a source of cash for the party planners, and if they had any couples coming who were into single males you were used by the planners to fill that niche.

As a club owner I would take exception to that generalization....

Easy money? Not on your life!

Single males are (for the most part) a source of aggravation to club owners. We are constantly getting inudated by them to be allowed to join our club and when they do attend we usually have to have someone follow them around to keep them from acting like bulls in a china shop.

Just like the original poster they assume that there admission charge is a ticket for sex.

Most couples do not like them there, but on ocassion want to bring one in for their own amusement.

The money we charge is a deterrent to prevent us from being overrun with single males, nothing more...

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Tom & Bonnie

As a club owner I would take exception to that generalization....

Easy money? Not on your life!

Single males are (for the most part) a source of aggravation to club owners. We are constantly getting inudated by them to be allowed to join our club and when they do attend we usually have to have someone follow them around to keep them from acting like bulls in a china shop.

Just like the original poster they assume that there admission charge is a ticket for sex.

Most couples do not like them there, but on ocassion want to bring one in for their own amusement.

The money we charge is a deterrent to prevent us from being overrun with single males, nothing more...

I stand corrected and now that you put it that way I see your point. Though I'm sure there have been more then a few sausage fest 'swinger' parties were they were used as nothing but a source of income.

[VegasLee]

I totally understand what the OP is feeling but it is all about attitude and the wrong attitude will get you nothing in life and in this Lifestyle.

Glad Tom showed up as a club owner. He has been there and knows what he is talking about but depending on what club you go to things can be different.

For 25 years we have allowed single men. They are charge a bit more but not a huge amount. MANY of the couples that come to the RR come there because we have single men. It depends on the type of club you go to. Some allow single men then other welcome them. We happen to be one that welcomes them. Good ones with the right attitude and common sense are more welcome then most of the others. Everyone, couples and singles alike are treated equal and welcome when it comes to us. That does not mean we are a better club, we are different. We fill the niche that some clubs don't want to fill or have to deal with.

Tom was right about why single men are charged more. We do that to keep from being nothing but single men. It also deters some of the lower hanging fruit that think they are deserving just because they show up. those that think that most of us that run clubs use single men just as a money machine have never ran a club and really don't know what it is about.

My suggestion to the OP is go to a different party. There are parties out there that WANT the single men and with the right attitude you will have a great time.

When I was a little kid, I got into movies cheap, then they charged me more as an Adult, now that I have my AARP card I get those wonderful discounts again. Sometimes life costs you more for a reason. Use it to your advantage.

[Menage_a_Trois]

Because in reality most (NOT ALL) couples don't want to deal with single men at the parties/clubs. Most single men are clingy, intrusive and annoying.

If you do happen to decide you are going to play with a single man afterward they tend to hang on the woman for the duration of the evening. God forbid you have played with a single man once before and he is at the club again 99% of the time he will "ASSUME" consent for a second round because he has marked his territory previously. They insert themselves into conversations where they are uninvited. My favorite assumption by most single men is that THEY are going to do for you what no other man (especially you husband/SO) can or has ever done for you………PLEASE!!!!

If you go to get into the hot tub with your spouse or SO and another couple - they FLOCK to the hot tub to LURK in hopes that someone will play with them. They generally IMHO don't have any manners.

A straight single male brings little to the table for a couple unless the couple tends to play alone or the wife just can not seem to have enough men........ So for most of us at the club our preference is to not have to deal with the intrusive single male and therefore the clubs charge more as a way to only have the serious men there and to keep from being over run with them. Because again and this is just my opinion but there is no such thing as a single man in the lifestyle, only a single man willing to accept the conditions of the lifestyle to get laid.

There is SOOO much more I could say on this subject but it’s been said 1000 times over by others so no sense in :beatdeadh.

With all this said though like everything else in life EVERYTHING has it’s place, and for the single male who is respectful, non-intrusive, friendly, good personality and knows that he’s not god’s gift to women, then you too my friend will find you place.

I have attached the rules for single men………..just for those who have forgotten the proper etiquette for single men in the lifestyle…….

The Other Mrs. Ménage

[arvcpl]

First off I need to say that we have played with legitimate single men before and I am not a single male basher. However as the male half of a couple I do need to say that it is attitudes like this that is that one of the reasons single males are looked down on and do have a hard time in the lifesyle. If you are going to bitch about paying $70 and not getting any sex to show for it stay the hell out of swingers clubs and take your money to a whore house!! It sounds to me like that is what you are looking for in the first place, whores, only you are too cheap to shell out the going price for some crack addicted street walker. You said you have gotten laid cheaper taking some gal out for dinner, fine what is wrong with that? Maybe if you start taking women out on some legitimate dates and start to treat them with some respect maybe you can get your own chick and don't have to try and score with other peoples wives. Swinging wives and single fems in the lifestyle are not whores or sluts or women with out of control sex drives and their partners are not limp dicked spineless pussys that need your hard dick to satisfy their women. If you think your 70 bucks entitles you to fuck somebody elses wife and mother of their children just because you are feeling a bit horny that night and you don't have it together enough to get your own chick you are in the wrong place. The only reason loners with boners are let into swing clubs at all is there are a very few single guys who actually get it and who realize that it is a priveledge for them to be there and who treat both halves of couples with dignity and respect. They realize that the vast majority of couples and single fems are not going to be interested in them and they leave them alone. A legitimate single male realizes it is a priviledge to be invited into the bedroom of a couple and to be allowed to help them fullfill THEIR fantasy and to be a part of THEIR sexual experience and not to just get their own rocks off on some slut that happens to be there after they shelled out 70 bucks. A legitimate single male would have no problem shelling out a higher entrance fee if he realized it would keep some of the trolls that give all single males a bad name out. A legitimate single male would wear a glowing armband with pride to show the couples that might be interested in him that he was available to be part of their experience. A legitimate single male would appreciate the club that allowed couples and single fems to also wear an arm band that would indicate to him where he may possibly be welcomed and not waste his time on those that aren't interested and run the risk of pissing someone off that was not open to his approach. A legitimate single male would know walking into the place that way more often than not he will not actually hook up that night but would still appreciate that he was allowed in in the first place and got the chance to meet some new people. A legitimate single male would realize that if he is going to play at all it is going to be strickly on the terms of the couple or single fem and will not be about him and he is ok with that. If you want to get a cheap piece of ass and do it completely on your terms your options are to find some old has-been lonely drunk gal in the lounge at the Holiday Inn that is desparate for any form of male attention or find some street walker that is jonesing for her next crack hit and will be glad to take your $70.

[Chicup]

arvcpl I sense your are holding back, tell us how you really feel

[Alura]

Since your very-limited profile lists you as a "couple," CrackerOjack, but you attended the club as a single male, that could have been your problem. Why wasn't your S.O. with you? Were you cheating?

However, your question, "why does Swingers meets cost so much for single males" reminds me of an incident that occurred on the Turner Turnpike here in Oklahoma several years ago.

A New York yankee had stopped for gas at one of the service plazas. When he went into the kiosk to pay his bill, be became irate with the cashier, berating her for the cost of the turnpike, the gasoline, even the candy bars!

About the time he had the innocent young lady scared for her life, a construction worker, busy with his remodeling work, left his job and went to her side. "I think I can explain why it costs so much to travel our turnpikes here in Oklahoma, Sir."

"You see, that's the way we get the Yankees to pay for our highways. It's not true that Oklahomans are allowed to travel the 'pikes free, by the way. Of course, when we use our Pike Passes, we are charged less, but it isn't free. It's worked out quite well! We have turnpikes all over the state and they make quite a profit. There's no way we could pay for these fancy highways if the burden were shared by the three million Oklahomans."

"Well," sputtered the Yankee, "You'll never find me visiting this state again!"

"You see," replied the construction worker, "That part's working, too!"


Mr. Alura

[EternallySingle]

Glowing Armbands? I wish that the clubs I attended issued glowing armbands to single men and the people interested in meeting them. Then I wouldn't have stayed there three hours trying to chat to people and would have went to the hotel bar earlier.

For the OP and any other single men, get real. In the regular world, how hard do you have to work to find a single woman interested in TALKING to you if you have noone running interference for you and telling her before hand that you have something in common? How much time does it take to convince a woman that gives you that (often phoney) drunken 'Lets go NOW' look at the bar before you have that amazing one night stand? (I say often phoney because most women learn that men are suspicious of sober women that want to just get laid and walk away). How hard is if for you, as a single man, to become friends with the wife of one of your married friends if you have only known him for a few weeks at work or the gym?

And you think paying a few extra dollars entitles you to better treatment at a club where sex is the primary reason for going there?

I don't go to clubs anymore because:

1. I don't have the time to drive three hours to MAYBE meet someone that MIGHT CONSIDER talking to me, let alone someone that wants to actually have sex or even just let me watch
2. For every couple I approach at a swing club or party I can approach five or six women at a bar or regular party and at least say a couple of things before they turn their backs on me
3. Its much easier to learn who are swingers at the coffee shop by listening for lines like "doing something different again this weekend" or "entertaining some friends we met online".
4. Much easier to meet single women by saying something funny to her in the grocery store then seeing if she says something funny back when you see her in the next aisle. then you ask if she wants YOUR phone number so she can nag you when she gets bored tomorrow.
5. I'd rather spend $100 dollars taking a woman out and getting shot down than spending $50 getting into a club and not even being around women that are looking primarily for other women and couples

What Tom and Bonnie, Chicup, and Vegas Lee are all true. We get used, excluded, and ignored because we are SINGLE MEN! Accept that you are on the outside and either spend more time looking for single women outside of swinging or change your attitude and expectations and look for couples that are looking for you. No other choices. I'm sorry, but thats how it is.

I've said it many times before. Before the internet, it was much easier to swing as a single man because there weren't that many single men that knew swinging existed outside of Penthouse Forum letters, and most thought those stories were made up. With the internet, many single men thought they had uncovered a whole new group of women that didn't require anything from men other than a hard penis. It doesn't work that way. And until that is understood, the ones who are really suffering are the couples and single women actually looking for quality single men to join them in the lifestlye.

Not because those men don't exist, but because it is easier to ignore all single men than to take a chance that the one they want to meet is really worth the time.

(how do you do that beating a dead horse thing?)