Single Guy Syndrome

[Tom4Fun]

I've been reading a lot of posts that indicate it's hard to find a single-guy, or that when they do, the guy is flakey or not the real deal! That's seems so odd to me, because I see that most single guys are always ignored or just never contacted. I'm sure there are a lot of idiots out there who are rude and act stupid, but I think that when you read a profile of a single guy who is an idiot, some of that has to be apparrent in their posts or adds? Right?

How does a single guy who is respectful and polite even get a chance in this lifestyle??

[good times]

I can't really say if it is hard to find a single guy or not as we have never been looking for one. Like the majority of swingers, we are only interested in couples.

We have met some flakes at the clubs though that had profiles that made them sound pretty normal, so I wouldn't agree that it is easy to tell by their profile what they will be like in person, any more so than it is easy to determine if a couple is compatible with us without meeting in person. For the single guy though, that is where the problem comes in, they aren't in as high a demand as couples and their are an over abundance of them to fill what little demand their is, so their chances of being considered to meet are comparatively rare.

So, to answer your final question, to get a chance you need to go where the swingers are, clubs that allow singles are the best bet, and you need to be patient.

We attend a couple of clubs that allow singles and I would guess, just by observation, that single guys, that have what it takes to get offers in the first place, have to attend about six to twelve nights per opportunity to play compared to couples which average an opportunity every two to three visits. When we go to a club that allows single guys, it is unusual if their are more than one couple out of twenty that would even consider playing with a single male, yet, there are usually about three to four single males for every twenty couples in attendance. What that translates to, is that the average single male is on the wrong side of the supply and demand curve.

In the end though, it really depends on the single males attitude whether he hooks up with couples or not. We have also noticed that of the single males we see regularly at the clubs, less than ten percent of them ever hook up at all. Of the single males that do hook up once in a while, it is usually always the same ones that hook up.

I personally don't think their is anything you can do to improve your odds of hooking up on a given night at the club, it is assumed that you are clean, presentable, and outgoing enough to meet and mingle with folks of course. It has been my experience from observing a lot of single males at the clubs over the years that they have either got what it takes or they don't. A few visits to the clubs will most likely tell you if you will have a chance of hooking up with a couple, or if you will just be joining the majority of single males who spend their time at the club on the sidelines.

[ShellyM]

OP,
You are right, there are honest to goodness single men out here who are just looking for some fun like everyone else. However, you have to understand that the BAD ones outnumber the good ones 10 to 1. Most "single" men that we have come across fall into one of two categories:
1. Married and cheating....or married and playing "with permission". OR the businessman in town for a week.
2. In it for the "could have had her" factor. You talk, say you know what, we'll give him a shot...then when you agree to meet they disappear.

So what happens is its just easier to block them all vs. waste time in trying to weed the few diamonds in the rough out of the sand. Its unfortunate but true.
Shell

[lost_j1]

Tom4fun,

We had looked around on Swing Lifestyle for maybe a MFM. After like three back outs and one that wasn't what we expected we are looking very less. The thought is nice and at the last house party we did do some MFM's with the couples we were with. They were great, but I did prefer the MFM and FMF with the couples we were with. It was like one would take a break and the resst of us continued. I stopped looking for sinlge men, because like what was said o this thread the bad out weigh the good. There are so many corney ass pick up lines you get from the bad singles males to turn you off. Then some of the ones we did contact that looked like we might click never did. You know you who are and I qoute" The lifestyle would shut down without the single males.." is what I heard before. Some line of shit I have to say. Even at the clubs like that was posted here there are so many single males just sitting there. They have that puppy dog in the window sale look. Pick me, pick me.. Yes, there are very many successful single males out here in the lifestyle. But there are far many more that are not. From what I(me) have seen, that in this area of the world. Most single men just don't get it(sorry bad pun)..

JAY!!!

[spectraschain]

We pounded this recently in THIS thread.
Frankly, I thought it sucked.
We've had great success with single men, I believe most of the posters on this subject aren't seeking single males, yet still feel the need to expound on a subject they don't actively pursue or know a great deal about...
I've defended you guys to no end, and will continue to do so, because I've a fair assessment of which I speak.
Sure, I'm a great gate-keeper, you have to be in this game no matter who you pursue, as in life, time invested equals just rewards...
Please, take comments from "couples seeking couples" with a dose of salts...

[lovinher]

We pounded this recently in THIS thread.
Frankly, I thought it sucked.
We've had great success with single men, I believe most of the posters on this subject aren't seeking single males, yet still feel the need to expound on a subject they don't actively pursue or know a great deal about...
I've defended you guys to no end, and will continue to do so, because I've a fair assessment of which I speak.
Sure, I'm a great gate-keeper, you have to be in this game no matter who you pursue, as in life, time invested equals just rewards...
Please, take comments from "couples seeking couples" with a dose of salts...

Wow, cable out again?

[ShellyM]

I agree. Although I hold to my belief that the bad ones make it bad for the good ones, I absolutely agree that there are some fantastic men out here. I have personally met a few of them and consider them friends. Yes, for the record some are just wonderful to know and enjoy.

However, the fact in my experience is this: The bad outnumbers the good vastly. Unfortunate, but true.
Shell

[Spoomonkey]

Our interest in singles has changed drastically since we ventured into the lifestyle. This leads me to believe that what you think of single men is going to be based largely on the luck of the draw - you'll either run into to mostly good ones, or mostly bad ones.

In our experience - they are mostly bad, with even the few good ones letting you down. So from our perspective, if you are the "genuine good guy" you have a fairly descent line of assholes to blame for us not being interested.

I do believe that we've simply been dealt a bad hand in our experiences with single men (our experience with couples and single women have been almost exclusively positive). But you play the hand your dealt.

Spoomonkey

[spectraschain]

based largely on the luck of the draw

Odd, Spoo, you didn't strike me as a "luck of the draw" type of individual...

[spectraschain]

Nor as a man who could ever be satisfied with "the hand that was dealt" him.

[spectraschain]

No worries, I spend the majority of my life in a constant state of confusion....

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by spectraschain

Nor as a man who could ever be satisfied with "the hand that was dealt" him.

Nor am I - which is why we have simply stopped looking for single men. We kept getting a shitty deal. After a while, you just accept your losses and walk away from the table

All kidding aside - it is what it is and we have found the single guy aspect of the lifestyle not worth wading through. We've had better luck with couples and single women (we never look for single women, but when we luck across one, it is always a fun time).

I just can't say that all single men are bad - it has just been our experience, which is hardly a representative sampling.

Spoomonkey

[havefuninsun]

You know what else happens? My opinion of single men is tainted because most -- not all -- don't read the freakin' profiles.

We have single men blocked because that's not what we're pursuing at the moment. And in our Swing Lifestyle profile, it states we're looking for couples and single females. There is NO interest in single men.

So what happened this weekend? A male under a couple's clothing sent an email. Seems his girlfriend was out of town.

There was NOTHING in our profile that would have made this guy think that we might be interested. Nothing. So it makes me think, again, that single guys are disrespectful horny trolls.

So, OP -- good luck to you. Make your profile sounds VERY sincere. Sit back and read it -- would you contact you? And understand a lot of guys make it hard for you to break out of the stereotype. If you know this, then hopefully the irritation and aggravation level will be less.

[Tom4Fun]

Thanks to all who replied to this post.