Finding The Right Male??

Our only threesome was with a male, who was introduced to us by another couple, we had been with on numerous ocassions. We had been with several other couples, so we were fairly experienced with couples, but we probably would have never meet with a singles male, had we not been coaxed into it by our friends. They introduced us to him at our local swing club. He was a black male, who seemed nice and not at all pushy. A few months passed before we meet with our friends again, they asked if we had considered getting together with their friend. We told them we hadn't gave it much thought. They said; they had talked to him and he was interested in a meeting. The lady had told my wife, that he was very well hung, and good in bed. Though we are not prejudice, she had never had the chance to experience a black lover, so the wife was curious. They called him and helped set up the meeting. We meet him and he was everything the wife expected and more. We meet with him a few more times, but tried to stick to couples. It was later wife said she wouldn't mind trying another threesome. but when we tried the adds, none seemed to promising, and alot of the single guys, who approached us at the swing club, seemed really pushy. not what the wife wanted.

[JustAskJulie]

Since your first guy came via friendly reccomendations, have you considered asking your friends (either the same ones or others) if they know anyone they can reccomend?

In regard to asking friends Bill & Barb. (not their real names) I guess there is a little more to the story. The "jealously issue" no not me, of my wife, but of the other couple, who had introduced him to us. We meet with our friends about a month later. They usually host small parties about once a month, and invite 4 or 5 couples. They asked how it was. Wife said she enjoyed the experience, and the rest of the evening went normal. About a week later (Tim) the single guy called, and wanted to meet again, and we did. A few weeks later Bill and Barb wanted to meet with us, at their place. They had no children, so it was easy for them to host. We had meet with them several times and had always enjoyed their company. They had a nice gameroom in the basement, pool table, darts, and big screen tv. We were playing pool, and having a few drinks, when the door bell rang. None of us had more than underwear on. They said not to be alarmed, that it was probablly Tim, They had told him he could stop by. After awhile Tim started warming up to my wife, and I could sense a bit of jealously, from Barb, but on the other hand Bill was wanting to watch, Tim and my wife. but they went to a bedroom, and closed the door. Barb and I went to another room and Bill got left out. Needless to say after that nights things wasn't same between us.

[JustAskJulie]

I guess it's understandable that someone would feel a bit upset/jealous after being left out. However, his wife could have easily invited Bill to join the 2 of you (so it wasn't just you and your wife that left him out).

Do you have any other swinger friends that you can ask about single males that they might know?

[Tellya Later]

Using ads however or strutting out on your own to find a single is a test of patience. Out of 500 replies you might get from your single ad only 5 might show promise (ie avoiding the obligatory dick pic accompanied with "god I want to fuck you" type message) maybe 2 may pan out. And all this might be over 3 years too.

I'd say stick with the standard thats been set with the first guy and look into referrals. I almost lived out my fantasy of FMF 3some with some friends of mine but their friendship with that couple fizzled.

[TNT]

Willbfun,

Julie gave you wonderful advice.

We are a couple who enjoy MFM threesomes and we have had the best luck with finding single men through friends and clubs/socials/house parties that allow them in.

We have only met one man that contacted us online and it took close to 6 months before we got together with him. He was truly the exception to the rule, a true gentleman.

There are good ones out there, it just takes time to find them. Stick with word of mouth, its really the easiest way to weed out all the jerks.

Good luck,

Teresa

Julie, Tellya, TNT, Thanks for your input, Glad to see others enjoy threesomes, and have had good experiences. I was begining to wonder, if maybe we were expecting too much. We know there are alot of single males available, so maybe with a little luck, we can find one that will be right for my wife.

[lovers]

It took us months to find a guy to have a threesome with or even to have him screw my wife. A connection between my wife and the other party is important and without that, he wouldn't have gotten into the sack. The only downside was that is was a bit on the "small" side. While we may invite him back, we're now looking for him only with a bigger unit (she's a bit of a size queen).

The thing is that it will not happen overnight as there are a lot of guys out there who don't measure up.

[tony234]

My wife has finally admitted without any reservations that she wants a threesome with another man.Trouble is finding him.I agree thier are hundreds that will volunteer but when the time comes they bail out.I couldnt believe it the first time .We had a couple of guys lined up )just in case one bailed ) sure enough they both bailed.Unbelievable.Ive told my wife , maybe an attached bisexual man might be best.Not homophobic .We are going to try again and be more careful about picking a candidate.Any ideas, besides "freinds"

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by tony234
My wife has finally admitted without any reservations that she wants a threesome with another man.Trouble is finding him.I agree thier are hundreds that will volunteer but when the time comes they bail out.I couldnt believe it the first time .We had a couple of guys lined up )just in case one bailed ) sure enough they both bailed.Unbelievable.Ive told my wife , maybe an attached bisexual man might be best.Not homophobic .We are going to try again and be more careful about picking a candidate.Any ideas, besides "freinds"

"friends" in my opinion are the worst choice. The whole thing involves not only the interraction of you two but the multliplication of the possible ramifications resulting between "friends" and you two.

The sexual preference, or the attached status of the guy should not matter, unless you are bi, or are for some reason wanting a guy to cheat with you.

My suggestion would be to take time to define your wants. I get approached not infrequently by couples that just want sex. No holds barred, no "lets go to the zoo together", just because they find me appealing. I don't swing but there are many guys like me out there. You need to wait until you find one. If you limit yourself by sexual preference you narrow the odds. I really don't understand why you would want an "attached" guy tho. John.

[sexualhealingmn]

We enjoy MFM threesomes and we had a "regular" for about two years and he was great for what we were looking for. Unfortunately he moved back east and recently got married. We enjoy making friends with our threesome partner and tend to want someone as a regular than a one night stand. I have been "interviewing" other threesome potentials for a year or so now, either through meeting from the "ads" and then chatting on yahoo. After chatting and getting to know them we do finally meet. Many aren't up to the challenge of being in a threesome, which is very disappointing. We are still looking and hopeful that someone with that we can "click" with....we might have high expectations, but that is what since my husband realizes that I need to feel comfortable with this.....then I can be picky!

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by sexualhealingmn
We enjoy MFM threesomes and we had a "regular" for about two years and he was great for what we were looking for. Unfortunately he moved back east and recently got married. We enjoy making friends with our threesome partner and tend to want someone as a regular than a one night stand. I have been "interviewing" other threesome potentials for a year or so now, either through meeting from the "ads" and then chatting on yahoo. After chatting and getting to know them we do finally meet. Many aren't up to the challenge of being in a threesome, which is very disappointing. We are still looking and hopeful that someone with that we can "click" with....we might have high expectations, but that is what since my husband realizes that I need to feel comfortable with this.....then I can be picky!

You should be picky. This is a major part of your life! John

[ATAK]

We (single men in the lifestyle) have it difficult for two simple reasons, 1. Many men are pushy and only want the sex without taking the time to get to know who their humping. 2. There are so many of us versus Single females in the lifestyle.

I am now and always have been rather picky about who I get into bed with. As my profile on SLS indicates, I've had multi-partner experiences to range from 3-somes to 8+ orgies. While these experiences are fun, I know each and every individual participating and we are all close friends. There is NO guesswork regarding personal safety. And that is exactly how it should be. I've always held the philisophy that (pardon the language) if you don't trust the pussy, why are you fucking the pussy? One night stands are best left to people who have nothing to live for and don't mind taking the chance of dying in today's society.

It has been at least 6-8 years since I've participated in a multi-partner sexual encounter, but I am looking forward to the day when I can enjoy the company of friends for more than just beer and chips at the football game. I am re-entering the lifestyle and looking forward to meeting and getting to know some of you. Thanks for your attention.