Female on SLS went from sweet to mean!!!

[Taylor74]

I was initially contacted by a couple. The female made several nice comments about my picture, profile, etc. I responded with kind words and requested to see a picture of them, because all of their photos were set to "private." She sent me a picture and she was a relatively decent looking mature women, so I decided to continue chatting with her. I am not perfect, so I do not expect perfection from others. Anyway, it took her forever to send me a picture of herself and it was quite generic. But that's still OK. I actually prefer a clothed photo.

We then begin to talk further, but in order to get a better feel of her body-type, I asked to see another picture. Not explicit, though. Keep in mind that she saw a non-explicit photo of me (shirt off) and liked it. After I requested a picture of her (she ignored my first request) she started insulting me, she broke character rather quickly, and berated me for wanting a "perfect woman." But I never requested such a women, either to her directly or in my SLS profile. She called me a little boy .

Was I wrong? I just wanted to insure they we were all attracted to each other.

So glad I never met this women...

[Taylor74]

Thanks for everyone's input.

[tribbles]

Were you wrong? No

Was she nuts? Maybe...

I have a lot of distrust about online stuff and don't believe anything I'm told till I see it.

S

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Taylor74

I was initially contacted by a couple. The female made several nice comments about my picture, profile, etc. I responded with kind words and requested to see a picture of them, because all of their photos were set to "private." She sent me a picture and she was a relatively decent looking mature women, so I decided to continue chatting with her. I am not perfect, so I do not expect the same from others. Anyway, it took her forever to send my a picture of herself and it was quite generic. But that's still OK. I actually prefer a clothed photo.

Okay, I understand what's going on here. So far, so good.

We then begin to talk further, but in order to get a better feel of her body-type, I asked to see another picture. Not explicit, though. Keep in mind that she saw a non-explicit photo of me (shirt off) and liked it. After I requested a picture of her (she ignored my first request) she started insulting me, she broke character rather quickly, and berated me for wanting a "perfect woman." But I never requested such a women, either to her directly or in my SLS profile. She called me a little boy .

So you requested a second pic, right? She ignored your request, according to you, you asked at least once more, and for whatever reason she eventually got upset and then berated you. Correct?

Was I wrong? I just wanted to insure they we were all attracted to each other.

You have every right to try to ensure that you are attracted to her and vice versa. Unfortunately, from the information you provided here we don't know if you were in the right and she was in the wrong, she was in the right and you were in the wrong, or if there was just a failure to communicate. We don't know exactly what you said or how you said it, what she said, or how she said it, and how you both interpreted what was said. That's the problem with written communication. Because we don't have the extra clues of tone and body language, we can misinterpret what was typed. And what would seem perfectly normal in basic face-to-face conversation might come across as rude and impersonal online.

So glad I never met this women...

Well, just so you know, it might NOT have been a woman.

Thrax

[NJCouple]

We're very skeptical about people unwilling to share a few G pics and that send pics that do not really show what they look like. It usually means they are hiding something. I'm not particularly put off by someone overweight. It really depends on personality. I am, however, disgusted by liars. You did the right thing. There are plenty of great couples that get together with single males on occasion. No need to get into the theatrics. I put on our profile that G pics are required for any continued conversation or meet. Why waste everyone's time if there really is no interest. Regards, Sharon

[Taylor74]

Thanks, Thrax.


My tone, like all of my emails to this person, were respectful, non-pushy, and honest. She said because I requested to see a picture of her body, that I was automatically immature and that ONLY young guys make these requests. WTF! That's not true at all. She became extremely defensive at my request. This woman was complimenting me so much and was telling me all about herself. I used the terms "total attraction" and she flipped. I imagine she is very insecure about her body or something else? Who knows?

[Taylor74]

Originally Posted by NJCouple

We're very skeptical about people unwilling to share a few G pics and that send pics that do not really show what they look like. It usually means they are hiding something. I'm not particularly put off by someone overweight. It really depends on personality. I am, however, disgusted by liars. You did the right thing. There are plenty of great couples that get together with single males on occasion. No need to get into the theatrics. I put on our profile that G pics are required for any continued conversation or meet. Why waste everyone's time if there really is no interest. Regards, Sharon

Exactly.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Taylor74

Thanks for everyone's input.

You are quite welcome.

I hate to break this to you, but this is NOT a 24-hour swingers' helpline. Posters on this Board are here because we are interested in the topic of swinging. A lot of us post often, and some of us check the Board several times a day. However, a question might not be addressed within 24 hours -- or even 12 hours -- because others don't care to answer because the topic does not interest them, people might not be able to access the Board frequently, or potential posters are turned-off by the tone of the OP.

And after reading your second post on this thread, I wonder -- as I'm sure a few other regular posters here wonder -- exactly how you responded to that couple in your initial correspondence.

Single males have a hard enough time in the lifestyle. Are your actions helping or hindering the rest of us? Not a flame, I just wanna know.

Thrax

[Taylor74]

Originally Posted by Thrax

You are quite welcome.

I hate to break this to you, but this is NOT a 24-hour swingers' helpline. Posters on this Board are here because we are interested in the topic of swinging. A lot of us post often, and some of us check the Board several times a day. However, a question might not be addressed within 24 hours -- or even 12 hours -- because others don't care to answer because the topic does not interest them, people might not be able to access the Board frequently, or potential posters are turned-off by the tone of the OP.

And after reading your second post on this thread, I wonder -- as I'm sure a few other regular posters here wonder -- exactly how you responded to that couple in your initial correspondence.

Single males have a hard enough time in the lifestyle. Are your actions helping or hindering the rest of us?

Thrax

Wait a minute. I just thanked you for discussing this matter and you then respond with this? If you noticed, i used the smilies as sarcasm. I do understand how forums work. I'm a member of several. However, I thought someone may have had similar experiences and wouldn't mind responding. Whatever issues couples may have with single males, does NOT rest on my shoulders. And for you to flip it and to comment like that is silly. I've talked with several couples and met several couples and had a ball. The compliments on my behavior, demeanor, and personality are always good. So for you to assume that I caused this unstable "person" to lose it, is absolutely wrong.

[MrsVan]

I have to agree that you were not in the wrong as she for whatever reason took the situation and turned it into a bad one. I agree that you have to have an attraction to the individual to see if you would be interested. If not, then you both move on. We have a couple we tried to meet up with that wanted to get to know us but their profile had no pics. The wife sent a pic of her and it was not a bad looking pic but we continued to ask for a pic of the husband and never got one. We every now and then get an email from them to see if we have an interest but I am not going to meet them without seeing if the husband is someone I would have an interest in.

I do not think you were in the wrong and agree that you should have every right to know what your getting yourself into.

MrsVan

[jennandjamesinm]

Originally Posted by Taylor74

Wait a minute. I just thanked you for discussing this matter and you then respond with this? If you noticed, i used the smilies as sarcasm. I do understand how forums work. I'm a member of several. However, I thought someone may have had similar experiences and wouldn't mind responding. Whatever issues couples may have with single males, does NOT rest on my shoulders. And for you to flip it and to comment like that is silly. I've talked with several couples and met several couples and had a ball. The compliments on my behavior, demeanor, and personality are always good. So for you to assume that I caused this unstable "person" to lose it, is absolutely wrong.

No - You need to wait a minute. you first posted your orriginal question at 11:50 am today - then at 4:38PM posted with

Originally Posted by Taylor74

Thanks for everyone's input.

That seems to me that you were being sarcastic, which is what Thrax was pointing out to you that MAY have been the issue with your conversation with the female in question. Sometimes when communicating with someone, a person says one thing and the person that is recieving the message takes it COMPLETELY differently.

It sometimes takes board members awhile to respond to a post because they either, haven't read the post, have a life, or just can't relate. Or maybe they just read

Originally Posted by Taylor74

Thanks for everyone's input.

and decided it just wasn't worth their time.

Just my 2 cents, and about 60 seconds that I'll never get back.

Jenn

[jennandjamesinm]

Now to answer the original question, I think that if she was being honest, she shouldn't have had any problem with sending a good photo. There has to be some sort of attraction.

Jenn

[ShellyM]

I agree. There should be no problem with her sending another picture to me, especially if the first one was grainy or not very clear. Hey, you need to know what the person looks like before you meet. I don't know, but it just seems fishy when someone slips out like that.

[Taylor74]

Originally Posted by jennandjamesinm

No - You need to wait a minute. you first posted your orriginal question at 11:50 am today - then at 4:38PM posted with



That seems to me that you were being sarcastic, which is what Thrax was pointing out to you that MAY have been the issue with your conversation with the female in question. Sometimes when communicating with someone, a person says one thing and the person that is recieving the message takes it COMPLETELY differently.

It sometimes takes board members awhile to respond to a post because they either, haven't read the post, have a life, or just can't relate. Or maybe they just read
and decided it just wasn't worth their time.

Just my 2 cents, and about 60 seconds that I'll never get back.

Jenn

The above post was totally unnecessary and pointless. I am free to post anything I choose within the rules of this particular site. Most people who spend alot of time on the net understand that the use of smilies adds a bit of sarcasm and/or softens one's context/tone. I chose to do that. At the time I made my second comment, there were already many views, but no replies...hence my post. Why make a big deal about it? Seriously?

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by Taylor74

The above post was totally unnecessary and pointless. I am free to post anything I choose within the rules of this particular site. Most people who spend alot of time on the net understand that the use of smilies adds a bit of sarcasm and/or softens one's context/tone. I chose to do that. At the time I made my second comment, there were already many views, but no replies...hence my post. Why make a big deal about it? Seriously?

Oh come on... if you are free to post what you want within the rules, then so is Jenn, without the necessity of you calling her opinion unnecessary and pointless.

I'm one that was put off by your second post for the reasons discussed by Jenn and Thrax. It certainly was worth bringing it up to get further information and clarify for the benefit of everyone (singles and/or couples).