Are you considered a single if your partner isnt interested in the lifestyle?

[JustAskJulie]

If you aren't swinging with a partner you are single. If you aren't doing it with your partners knowledge and permission you are cheating.

[MoonLightKiss]

You are wanting to do this behind her back. Yet in the same sentence you say that you don't live together, nor are you engaged. Well, I hate to break the news, but if you are dating exclusively, or there is any level of understood monogamy, ITS CHEATING. Plain and simple. There are many reasons why couples do not play with "cheating singles".

Drama, drama, drama always follows. Who wants to ruin a good time with someone who might have an SO that calls later crying about how they ruined her/his life? Or other various situations calling for a solution.

Swinging is about trust, honesty, openness, and above all RESPECT. Do you really think these husbands are going to trust you with their wives, when its obvious you cannot respect your own relationship?

And finally, if you will lie to someone who cares about you, and whom you claim to care about you, what in the world is stopping you from lying to the couple? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

It kills me when a "supposed single" claims that "they respect me and would never lie to me" but they are in the same sentence saying thier SO has no idea of the depth of lies they are telling. My response "Yeah and there is a snowball in hell right now saying you have a chance at this happening."

[ShellyM]

I know some couples who do play with select single married men....however, their rule is they HAVE to talk on the phone with the wife beforehand. Of course, he can always have a female friend call....so go figure. Just be sure to protect yourself.

[ohash01]

If it's just casual dating...I DARE you to tell her youre going to attempt swinging. Then it will be NO dating. J. and I aren't married or engaged. If we lived in another state, we'd be common-law, but Ohio has no common-law. Just because we aren't married or engaged doesn't mean it wouldnt hurt like hell if I found out he was cheating...and then HE'D hurt like hell when I kicked his ass. She'll find out. I found out when J. sent ONE naked picture of himself about 2 years ago.

If you like this girl, this is a VERY bad idea. If you don't like her enough to stay faithful and would rather cheat on her, then you need to let her go so she can find someone who will respect her more.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

A few days later she gets a call from a man, asking if she had recently had a threesome with so and so. She has nothing to hide, so she said yes she did.

She apparently never heard of the term discretion either.

[texascouple_200]

My Husband and I are in the lifestyle and I have made a choice not to play but he has my full permission to do so. We are regulars at a club and everyone knows that I do not play and no one has an issue with it. My husband has had several incounters with other females and couples and I do agree if the other person does not know about it it is cheating. But I feel as long as we are together it should be fine. We have a rule that if a female wants to play or a couple wants to play they must come and talk to me first and I either say yes or no and my Husband respects my choice.

[sereneiders]

Originally Posted by texascouple_200

My Husband and I are in the lifestyle and I have made a choice not to play but he has my full permission to do so. We are regulars at a club and everyone knows that I do not play and no one has an issue with it. My husband has had several incounters with other females and couples and I do agree if the other person does not know about it it is cheating. But I feel as long as we are together it should be fine. We have a rule that if a female wants to play or a couple wants to play they must come and talk to me first and I either say yes or no and my Husband respects my choice.

Since the problem with married people who play alone is how to tell if they're lying about having their spouses permission, you actually solve the problem when being present and being part of the deal, even if you don't play.