Is SLS a good site for single males?

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

Rocky, I'm new to this life-style and i'm going to tell you what happened to me that made me stop attending a club that i once liked. Me and my fiance went to a room at a swingers club, seven single guys followed us and was waiting their turn. I mean making comment,such as who was next, playing with themselves, and telling my boyfriend what they were going to do to me.

This is basically what happened to us at the swingers camp out this past weekend. Like I said before, a group brought 4 single men along (even though it was for couples and single ladies only supposedly). Us and another couple decided to go enjoy the swing. Now, I DO understand that we are at a swinger's function, we have no problem at all with voyeurs who are enjoying themselves.....but we get to the swing, and like 4 bees they are there. Jay dropped and started doing oral, and they LITERALLY stood not 1 foot behind him, to where he had to give them a look so they would back off. And they were cracking jokes and making fun, like it was funny or something. So, the next couple got on....I think she honestly faked it to get the hell out of there. So, we then go to some tables and start having fun....the 4 musketeers showed up! It literally ruined our entire evening. I have emailed the managers, asking them never to allow single guys in to a function if they want me to return.

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by SPOOMONKEY

Sure - swinging probably does happen at single's bars - and some singles do have the mindset of swingers - but it is not a good idea to bank on it.

Ahhh .. a man with a brain! Gotta love ya (uh .. in a strictly plutonic way, of course. ROFL!!).

No, I don't think any couple should bank on the fact that just because a single is on a swing site or met at a club that this person has the vaguest clue of how to act in a swing environment.

BUT some singles certainly can have the mindset of a lifestyler, hold to the rules of a dedicated lifestyler and even have references from other couples; be actively involved in his/her own swing community and work for making a safe environment for couples. So for all practical purposes, this person can very much be considered a swinger.

For example, I know this single fellow locally who owns a ranch. He is tied into a group of swingers here who have their parties at his house. There might be 2-3 single males there, a few single ladies, but 30-40 couples. His parties are announced on the (local) swingers site every month.

Compared to the shitload of single men in the lifestyle, he is a rare breed, no doubt. But I think that to say that he is NOT a swinger would an insult. And I'm pretty sure the swingers group would defend him in that.

All I am saying is that if a single is going to wear the hat of a swinger, that he should wear it completely and not be a dilitante. Otherwise, they may as well go to singles bars 'cause they'll more than likely have better luck getting accepted.

ShellyM:

I just read your story and I'm sorry to read that experience. Definately a killjoy and I can't say I blame you for how you feel.

[JTcamp05]

Think amanda said it all....clear and to the point!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Dooode

some singles certainly can have the mindset of a lifestyler

And like I said, I go back and forth. Mostly because I know one guy who I would consider to have the same mindset that I have. But - after three and a half years, I have only met one personally. Not the best kind of numbers with which to make an arguement "for" singles being swingers

Spoomonkey

[Hapycmpr]

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

Me and my fiance went to a room at a swingers club, seven single guys followed us and was waiting their turn. I mean making comment,such as who was next, playing with themselves, and telling my boyfriend what they were going to do to me.

Last week, we were invited to a hotel party by a single guy that we know. We have never partied with him, but would if the opertunity came about. When we got there, there were 7 guys and NO women. Patti was the only woman there. Within the next hour, 4 more guys came with no dates. Now we have 11 guys and Patti. Our friend started giving Patti a foot massage, and then offered a whole body massage.

We went into the bathroom and discussed the issue and decided to go with it as long as it didn't get out of hand. I was there to monitor the situation and limit the participants. She didn't want an all out gang bang! Patti got undressed and layed on the bed for her massage. As in Tia Vampire's situation, the guys all started stripping and playing with themselves telling us what they were going to do to Patti. My response was, "Guys...be nice and respectful, or I'll take the pussy and go home."

Between me and our friend Patti felt fairly safe, but we did end up leaving before anything really got going. The feeling was just too creepy for me. Spoo, I know what you're talking about when you say that it takes someone with a great relationship to be a swing husband!

Dave

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Hapycmpr

Last week, we were invited to a hotel party by a single guy that we know. We have never partied with him, but would if the opertunity came about. When we got there, there were 7 guys and NO women. Patti was the only woman there. Within the next hour, 4 more guys came with no dates. Now we have 11 guys and Patti. Our friend started giving Patti a foot massage, and then offered a whole body massage.

We went into the bathroom and discussed the issue and decided to go with it as long as it didn't get out of hand. I was there to monitor the situation and limit the participants. She didn't want an all out gang bang! Patti got undressed and layed on the bed for her massage. As in Tia Vampire's situation, the guys all started stripping and playing with themselves telling us what they were going to do to Patti. My response was, "Guys...be nice and respectful, or I'll take the pussy and go home."

Between me and our friend Patti felt fairly safe, but we did end up leaving before anything really got going. The feeling was just too creepy for me. Spoo, I know what you're talking about when you say that it takes someone with a great relationship to be a swing husband!

Dave

Lets see, room full of guys I don't know and my wife half naked......

No I can't see that one getting to the foot massage stage, glad it didn't turn into a gang rape.

[Hapycmpr]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Lets see, room full of guys I don't know and my wife half naked......

No I can't see that one getting to the foot massage stage, glad it didn't turn into a gang rape.

This was an established weekly swing party that we have attended before where there are usually 5-6 couples and 3-6 single guys. It just happened that there weren't any other couples present at this week and an abundance of single guys. All of these guys we had seen before and at no time did either of us feel unsafe...just kind of creepy.

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by Hapycmpr

This was an established weekly swing party that we have attended before where there are usually 5-6 couples and 3-6 single guys. It just happened that there weren't any other couples present at this week and an abundance of single guys. All of these guys we had seen before and at no time did either of us feel unsafe...just kind of creepy.

Creepy is an understatement. That's extremely poor planning if I ever heard it.

With our particular group, parties involve six couples (as much as 15, as little as three) but only one or two single guys. Three single guys MAX with a high couples attendance. So the ratio always ends up being 5:1

For our group, that always seems to work out best.

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Mostly because I know one guy who I would consider to have the same mindset that I have. But - after three and a half years, I have only met one personally. Not the best kind of numbers with which to make an arguement "for" singles being swingers

Don't get me wrong. My argument is not that singles are swingers so much as that they CAN be swingers ... with the right mindset (as you said). It's my defiance against the more close-minded "no they're not!".

Kinda like opening the door slightly to the viewpoint that some COULD be, with the correct attitude and experience.

[JTcamp05]

Thats a little much I agree Dave......Best to leave and try for the next party I would say.....

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Dooode

ShellyM:

I just read your story and I'm sorry to read that experience. Definately a killjoy and I can't say I blame you for how you feel.

Thanks it was, yes...but thats okay. I feel bad, because I know there are good men out there who want to have fun like the rest of us....unfortunately the bad ones really ruin it for the good.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Dooode

CDon't get me wrong. My argument is not that singles are swingers so much as that they CAN be swingers ...

And in theory, time travel is possible...

It's a matter of relativity

Spoomonkey

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Laurie and I have just started ignoring single males out of hand even though she is fond of MFM. The single males who have contacted us have ranged from merely annoying trolls to completely offensive bastards. They're like a bunch of starving dogs hanging around outside the butcher shop.
One little walking anus even stated that just because my lovely sexy wife isn't a perfect size 4 we should be desperate and be glad he was willing to do her anyway.
No single males! If we want to do a MFM we'll ask another couple to borrow the husband for the night in trade for similar favors at a future date.
Jeff and Laurie

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by nice_cpl_n_bama

Laurie and I have just started ignoring single males out of hand even though she is fond of MFM. The single males who have contacted us have ranged from merely annoying trolls to completely offensive bastards. They're like a bunch of starving dogs hanging around outside the butcher shop.
One little walking anus even stated that just because my lovely sexy wife isn't a perfect size 4 we should be desperate and be glad he was willing to do her anyway.
No single males! If we want to do a MFM we'll ask another couple to borrow the husband for the night in trade for similar favors at a future date.
Jeff and Laurie

I can't believe he said that. Man oh man, what a creap!

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Well, in fairness he did sent an email the next day claiming that he was drunk when he wrote that stuff. Personally I don't much care. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and often you see the "real" person when they've had a few. He was just an ass.

[MoonLightKiss]

Drunk is no excuse. I hate it when people use that. I just wanna tell em, "if you can't do better than that while drinking, then perhaps drinking is not for you. And please come up with a better line for excusing your pathetic behavior"

In all seriousness, he was a creep. And thats not a bad idea, finding another couple into MFM and trading out favors. I may need to consider that for myself