Is SLS a good site for single males?

[havefuninsun]

Yep -- I agree with everyone -- supply and demand. Good luck, though!

[Rockme]

[quote=Dooode]



Rockme, you have to understand that there are a lot of wannabes out there in SwingLand. Single males and trolls take up a big chunk of that number. IMHO, newbie single males seem to have some psycho idea that swinging is some kinda free-for-all with others' wives, which we both know that is not the case.
QUOTE]

Time out!! I am getting enough heat on the "bi" thread! Please don't lay this one on me too. I am NOT a single male I did not write this post Surrender
I like what the person said about baseball. I will let this one go down the middle!

[JustAskJulie]

Another good way to look at it....

Can a couple swing without a single?
Can a single swing without a couple?

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Amanda69

Singles are Toys, couples are swingers...

So you're saying I'm not a swinger, but I could be a toy. In my book, that's okay, as long as I can find someone to play with me...

Thrax

[Dooode]

Rockme:

hahahaha I never said you were a single male! You said " I think sls discriminates a lot towards single men." and I responded to that thought.

I also said, "Swinging is primarily an activity of couples" and that singles (both male and female) are ENHANCEMENTS to the already existing scene.

Sorry if you felt I was picking on you.

And lastly (to Julie), that is a good way to look at it, but regardless "swinger" is still the hat that a single wears. He/she follows the same swing lifestyle rules. The ones that don't always seem to get into trouble.

A lone man wearing a fireman's hat is still a fireman and he is capable of out fires. All he needs is to join a department so he can do it better! haha

[Rockme]

Originally Posted by Dooode

Rockme:

hahahaha I never said you were a single male! You said " I think sls discriminates a lot towards single men." and I responded to that thought.

I also said, "Swinging is primarily an activity of couples" and that singles (both male and female) are ENHANCEMENTS to the already existing scene.

Sorry if you felt I was picking on you.

And lastly (to Julie), that is a good way to look at it, but regardless "swinger" is still the hat that a single wears. He/she follows the same swing lifestyle rules. The ones that don't always seem to get into trouble.

A lone man wearing a fireman's hat is still a fireman and he is capable of out fires. All he needs is to join a department so he can do it better! haha

Sorry if I misunderstood you.

[curiousagain]

I think the OP has pretty much been answered except for one thing. Nobody ever promised anybody a rose garden. This isn't the first time I've seen a SM complain because they had to pay something a SF didn't. Well, it's kind of like the real world, isn't it?

The cost of being on a site should come from the petty cash part of your hobby budget. If it has to come from the capital expenditure part of your hobby budget, you're in over your head before you get started. I tend to avoid free members, SF or couples, swing or vanilla sites, partly for that reason. Primarily because they could be a 16 year old pretending to be something they aren't. I'm not discriminating, I've just learned that ignoring free members tends to reduce the chances of dealing with fakes. And, if you believe a swing or vanilla site can offer decent service without payments from at least a majority of those using the site, then you're too out of touch with reality for me to enjoy your company.

Rocky, how much did you drop on your last date? Last weekend, I invited someone for a beer and burger and wound up spending $40 by the time I went home. I went home with a slight buzz, a full stomach, and an invitation from her to take me to dinner so it was money well spent. If you want to play you have to pay. Doesn't matter what it is. If you balk at the paltry money to be on a swing site I can only imagine how you feel filling up your car to drive to see someone you meet on it.

[Amanda69]

Another good way to look at it....

Can a couple swing without a single?
Can a single swing without a couple?

Excellent way to look at it.

Thrax I am sure you would be a favorite toy of many a couple.... I played as a toy myself for about 3 years in the lifestyle. As a single female it was a little easier but I never forgot my place.

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by Amanda69

Excellent way to look at it.

Why?

[Amanda69]

Because two singles having sex is just that...sex. Or else I have been a swinger from way back.

I consider myself a swinger only when I was a couple, other than that I was a fun toy....

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Can a couple swing without a single?
Can a single swing without a couple?

I think this is absolutely brilliant... But I think you are brilliant, so I'm not surprised.

I go back and forth honestly, because there are good single men. But - at the same time we have played with more single women than we have with good single men... Which I think is pretty telling, considering that single females are supposed to be so rare...

Good single men are rarer still.

If you are a good single male (and who is there to define that?) you can call yourself whatever you want as far as I'm concerned. But, most single men are opportunists, based on my experience.

There is a HUGE difference between sharing your wife and sharing someone else's wife. Most single men simply aren't swingers in that regard. Sure - they'll drop trou and have sex with Mrs Spoomonkey in a heartbeat, but what are they risking in return? Frankly, few have the balls to do what many swing husbands do.

It is a risky proposition to share your wife with anyone - you have to be pretty confident in yourself to do it and it takes a rare man, I believe who can. If anyone in the lifestyle is underappreciated, it is the swing husband...

But that is a debate for another thread - which I started a couple years ago and is buried around here somewhere...

As a swing husband, I have to admit, when I go to the club I am really - in the back of my monkey mind - hoping to play with someone, just as Mrs Spoomonkey is hoping to play with someone. Single guys are fun, but I have to kind of plan for them - prepare mentally for them - because there really isn;t much more than visual stimulation that I get from that... If you aren't what we are looking for, then you are just someone else to walk by...

The long and the short of it is that the realities of the lifestyle are what they are. Guys like CuriousAgain and Thrax get this. You can whine or you can adapt.

Spoomonkey

[Tia Vampire]

Rocky, I'm new to this life-style and i'm going to tell you what happened to me that made me stop attending a club that i once liked. Me and my fiance went to a room at a swingers club, seven single guys followed us and was waiting their turn. I mean making comment,such as who was next, playing with themselves, and telling my boyfriend what they were going to do to me. In a way it was a complement to have seven guys chase after me, but at the same time, these guys thought that they had some coochie to play with. I don't know what they were thinking, but it was not happening. Maybe if it was one guy and he politely came and asked could he join, then maybe. I have no problem with a single guy at the club. As a matter of fact we are looking for one to play with, but seven is just a bit overwhelming and inconciderate. I think as a single guy in my opinion, You should let the couple approach you instead of you approaching them. good luck in your seach and calm down, there is a willing couple out there.

[Dooode]

Originally Posted by Amanda69

Because two singles having sex is just that...sex. Or else I have been a swinger from way back.

Well this is what I am trying to figure out.

If you are a swinger couple, why wouldn't you just go to a single's bar (if there is such a thing these days! haha) and pick up a single male/female there?

What is the difference between finding one in the lifestyle and one in a bar?

Or is there a difference?

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Dooode

If you are a swinger couple, why wouldn't you just go to a single's bar (if there is such a thing these days! haha) and pick up a single male/female there?

Ah - a trick question

Gotta love those...

If you are looking for a single, going to a single's bar MIGHT work... Or it might back fire in a dozen different ways.

At a single's bar, most people are there looking for other singles. And the singles who may be interested in playing with a couple will probably do it with the attitude of "oh well... I wasn't getting laid tonight anyway..."

Not saying all - but if a single wants to have sex in a group, a single's bar would be an unlikely place to look.

Originally Posted by Dooode

What is the difference between finding one in the lifestyle and one in a bar?

The main difference is purpose. Why are they there? I am willing to bet if you walked into most single's bars and asked most singles - male and female - what they were looking for - a very, very, VERY small percentage would say, "I am here on the off chance that a couple is going to invite me in for group sex."

In fact, I was once in a vanilla club with a group of swingers where one of the wives hit on a single guy. When he realized what she was (a swinger) he stormed off in disgust...

If you walk up to a single in a swing club, the chances are much greater that they know why they are there - and know what they are likely to find. They aren't going to be shocked or surprised.

It is just as pointless to pretend that a single's bar is a swing club as it is to pretend that a single is a swinger...

Sure - swinging probably does happen at single's bars - and some singles do have the mindset of swingers - but it is not a good idea to bank on it.

Spoomonkey

[ShellyM]

Hello,
I can only tell you my opinion from personal experience. Honestly, we have had no luck at all with single men. I actually have had a horrible experience with single men lately at the swingers camp out we went to...they let a group bring 4 of them, and we had a bad experience with them. Anyways, on sls we have had bad luck to be honest. One was using 4 different names. Others seem to think that just because I'm a swinger I'm a whore. I know there are good single men out there....but out of 100 I bet only about 5 are good, and 95 not so good. But, thats JMO.