Are singles really swinging?

[magnum]

I was talking to a female friend of mine about swinging, one of the few friends that knows that I play with others , she had told me that I am not really a swinger because I am single.

If I was married or with a GF that was into swinging, then I would be "swinging".

What is your opinon on this?

Magnum

PS; I currently have a new gf, she knows that I have played with others; MFM, in the past, but she is not ready at this point to start swinging.

[JTcamp05]

Think you would be a swinger if your partner would "swing" with you. Otherwise well your just an.................extra.


Sorry it canot be the same, the whole point of "swinging" is it involved two people in a relationship. I am not much for lables but you cant call yourself something your not.

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by JTcamp05

Sorry it canot be the same, the whole point of "swinging" is it involved two people in a relationship. I am not much for lables but you cant call yourself something your not.

I politely and respectfully call bullshit! For one thing... the term swinging single had to come from somewhere. And for another... lots of couples seek to play with singles, whether male or female... how can they term themselves swingers and not those who they would practice this hobby with?

Geesh! This whole topic gets my goat faster than just about any other one thing that is discussed here. Get off of your high horses, coupled people!

[JTcamp05]

ok...... the dynamic is not the same when your singel as if you were in a couple.... "High horse"...... give me a break....... its just not the same, i'm not in any way against singles participating....but the dynamics are not the same as a couple.


So your single and you wish to participate..... thats great......now your actions and choice only effect you......now when a couple swings each partners actions and choices effect the other. How can you say you are equal?

Many couples myself included do not object and even sometimes prefer to swing with singles....... but with all due respect I consider the couples the swingers not the singles.

I would think it to be different if you were in a polly relationship, then of course you bring more in tearms of emotional attachment to the table, but to just be involved for the physical side of things...your just an accessory.

[gatorvol64]

Labels...they can be such bad things.

Speaking as a couple who consider themselves swingers and regularly plays with single men...yeah, we consider you a swinger too.

"...your just an accessory" Have to say that isn't how we have ever thought of the single men we've been with (and we've never seen a man just once either).

I may get really blasted about this but, I just do not see how you being single makes a difference. I see swinging more as an attitude than anything else.

Are you happy? Are the couples you are with happy? What is in a label anyway? Just have some fun!

Vol

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by JTcamp05

ok...... the dynamic is not the same when your singel as if you were in a couple.... "High horse"...... give me a break....... its just not the same, i'm not in any way against singles participating....but the dynamics are not the same as a couple.

I never said the dynamics were the same with singles as with couples. (And yes, I've done both.) The question was: Are singles swingers? Your answer was 'no', mine was 'yes.'

Originally Posted by JTcamp05

So your single and you wish to participate..... thats great......now your actions and choice only effect you......now when a couple swings each partners actions and choices effect the other. How can you say you are equal?

Equal to what??? Swinging is recreational sex among adults... any adults. Whether or not you're "coupled" has nothing, whatsoever, to do with it. Now... perhaps if the OP asked something about swapping... then you'd have a point. All swappers are swingers, but not all swingers are swappers, and I never said they were.

Originally Posted by JTcamp05

Many couples myself included do not object and even sometimes prefer to swing with singles....... but with all due respect I consider the couples the swingers not the singles.

Oh boy! Thanks for "not objecting" to the fact that I can have recreational sex. I'm such a lucky girl!!!

Originally Posted by JTcamp05

I would think it to be different if you were in a polly relationship, then of course you bring more in tearms of emotional attachment to the table,

Again... nothing about swinging as an activity necessarily has to do with emotional attachment or lack thereof.

Originally Posted by JTcamp05

but to just be involved for the physical side of things...your just an accessory.

An accessory? You've just crossed the line. And, to think, you said you were bringing "due respect". Except... you know... not.

ETA: Thanks for your post, gatorvol

[good times]

Well, under in my style of swinging, singles are not swingers. Why, you ask? Simply because we rarely, hardly ever, swing with singles. So, for us, the only swingers we are interested in are other couples, no matter what anyone wants to call themselves. But lets not kid ourselves, their are many different definitions of swinging, and my definition is not the only one, in fact, it probably isn't even in the top five. You will find with a bit of searching that this is a popular enough topic around here to almost be in the catagory of "beating the dead horse", but it still appears to me that swinging is what the individual participants think it is. In other words, if you are single and consider yourself a swinger, that is fine by me. Likewise, if you are a couple and consider singles swinger, that is fine too. Why would I care, in the end how you define swinging has little to no impact on me personally? I mean really, what difference does it make if singles are considered swingers or not? Do you think the couples who enjoy playing with singles or the singles who enjoy playing with couples are suddenly going to stop what they are doing because someone here decided that singles aren't really swingers? I wouldn't bet on it.

[curiousagain]

Originally Posted by good times

You will find with a bit of searching that this is a popular enough topic around here to almost be in the catagory of "beating the dead horse",....

[Dooode]

Oh gawd. Here we go again!

[Pepper & Drew]

I would think that what matters more than what someone calls you is whether they call you when they want to have a good time.

Pepper

[JTcamp05]

Cute pepper.............Guess that says it all doesn't it.....

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by good times

Well, under in my style of swinging, singles are not swingers. Why, you ask? Simply because we rarely, hardly ever, swing with singles. So, for us, the only swingers we are interested in are other couples, no matter what anyone wants to call themselves. But lets not kid ourselves, their are many different definitions of swinging, and my definition is not the only one, in fact, it probably isn't even in the top five. You will find with a bit of searching that this is a popular enough topic around here to almost be in the catagory of "beating the dead horse", but it still appears to me that swinging is what the individual participants think it is. In other words, if you are single and consider yourself a swinger, that is fine by me. Likewise, if you are a couple and consider singles swinger, that is fine too. Why would I care, in the end how you define swinging has little to no impact on me personally? I mean really, what difference does it make if singles are considered swingers or not? Do you think the couples who enjoy playing with singles or the singles who enjoy playing with couples are suddenly going to stop what they are doing because someone here decided that singles aren't really swingers? I wouldn't bet on it.

Dito . . . We feel the same way too. It's nice to know there are extras available when we as a couple want to act on a fantasy. Some fantasies only need one but most of our fantasies revolve around couples/swingers.

[lovinher]

They are Swingles. That word just don't look right

[Dynamar]

If my friend is a die-hard bowler... practices every day, plays in three leagues, has the goal of playing in the PBA, and I bowl with friends three times a year for fun... guess what? It's still bowling.

And if the local TV station was filming outside of my local swing club and I happen to make it on videotape, I'd have a pretty difficult time trying to tell my family, friends (well... scratch the friends... they already all know), and neighbors that I wasn't a swinger, now wouldn't I?

[WesternSwing]

swing·er Pronunciation (swngr)
n.
1. One that swings: a good swinger of baseball bats.
2. Slang
a. A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends.
b. A person who engages freely in promiscuous sex.
c. A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners.

According to the dictionary it would seem there are several definitions to "swinger". Under 2b you would be considered a swinger whether you played with couples or not if you were sleeping around quite bit.

Under definition 2c you'd not be a swinger.

Personally, if you were truly involved in the lifestyle for a real period of time (not just a flash-in-the-pan), attending parties, going to clubs, being a third with couples on a regular basis, I would consider you a "swinger" under definition 2c, even though you are not a couple.

Mr. WS