Are singles really swinging?

[Alura]

I think the problem with deciding whether or not a single can be a swinger arose at the time the term "wife-swapping" was phased out in favor of "swinging," which is, perhaps, a more palatable term for many.

Back when our sport was called "wife-swapping" I never heard anyone argue that a single could be a "wife-swapper."

Mr. Alura

[eatscherry]

Alot of couples (most of them ) are tring to change the rules so they can wife-swap and not be bothered by single guy's or there own hing-up's . Look, swinging is being open with sex with other people that want more orgasoms in diffrent ways . If your hiding it from the person your seeing ......your not a swinger. If you come home and your woman is doing two guys and maybe some women and she just say's "Come on and put your dick in my throat"....your a swinger . As I'v said to people before , it's about being open and honest about sex and friendship .

[telly2]

i think you are, this is insane, so many have a complex, if you are with another couple who seeked you out than you are swinging.

[MrsVan]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

swing·er Pronunciation (swngr)
n.
1. One that swings: a good swinger of baseball bats.
2. Slang
a. A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends.
b. A person who engages freely in promiscuous sex.
c. A member of a couple, especially a married couple, who exchanges sexual partners.

According to the dictionary it would seem there are several definitions to "swinger". Under 2b you would be considered a swinger whether you played with couples or not if you were sleeping around quite bit.

Under definition 2c you'd not be a swinger.

Personally, if you were truly involved in the lifestyle for a real period of time (not just a flash-in-the-pan), attending parties, going to clubs, being a third with couples on a regular basis, I would consider you a "swinger" under definition 2c, even though you are not a couple.

Mr. WS

I have to agree with Mr. WS in the fact that the definition above is what I would have based my answer on as 2a and 2b would fit anyone that is a single in the lifestyle. When I look at singles it depends on how they act within the lifestle that make me think that they are a swinger. There are some singles out there that you just know by their profiles, the way they contact you and the way that they treat the couple that they are not swingers. They are passer by's looking for fast pussy.

Those singles who know their place within a 3some, have total respect for the couple and the woman whom they are about to play with would be in my mind a swinger because they have been in the lifestyle enough to know what they are there for and what the couples are looking for.

So yes I would consider you a swinger if you knew how to play the game. If you were one that I met and you were completely disrespectful to me and my relationship with my husband, then I would think that you just figured that getting into the lifestyle would guarantee fast pussy. Yes we are all here for sex and to be with others, but come on do we have to be disrespectful?

Just my 2 cents....

MrsVan

[flkeyscouple]

Originally Posted by MrsVan

So yes I would consider you a swinger if you knew how to play the game. If you were one that I met and you were completely disrespectful to me and my relationship with my husband, then I would think that you just figured that getting into the lifestyle would guarantee fast pussy. Yes we are all here for sex and to be with others, but come on do we have to be disrespectful?

Very well said!

Sarah

[redlinemi]

Swinging is recreational sex among adults... any adults. Whether or not you're "coupled" has nothing, whatsoever, to do with it.

I have to agree dynamar. Swinging is swinging. Swinging is more relative to recreational, active and promiscuous sex... single or not.

Bottom line, if the label is important, you are in fact a swinger.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by MrsVan

I have to agree with Mr. WS in the fact that the definition above is what I would have based my answer on as 2a and 2b would fit anyone that is a single in the lifestyle. When I look at singles it depends on how they act within the lifestle that make me think that they are a swinger. There are some singles out there that you just know by their profiles, the way they contact you and the way that they treat the couple that they are not swingers. They are passer by's looking for fast pussy.

Those singles who know their place within a 3some, have total respect for the couple and the woman whom they are about to play with would be in my mind a swinger because they have been in the lifestyle enough to know what they are there for and what the couples are looking for.

So yes I would consider you a swinger if you knew how to play the game. If you were one that I met and you were completely disrespectful to me and my relationship with my husband, then I would think that you just figured that getting into the lifestyle would guarantee fast pussy. Yes we are all here for sex and to be with others, but come on do we have to be disrespectful?

Just my 2 cents....

MrsVan

Based on Mrs Van's definition, including respectful and knowledgable singles into the swinger fold but excluding those who are just passing by to get a quick f:

I would actually exclude a number of couples from being called swingers. They might fit the definition other people have given in this thread, because they participate as a pair. But they may be very disrespectful and not have a clue what this is all about.

Some here have said that a single they play with is just an accessory. That sounds like they might as well be a strap-on or some other kind of inanimate toy. When we swing with singles, they're not just an accessory or an appendage to us. They are a third person, just as equal in the activity as the two of us are, and just as valuable to the success of the fun we're having. We are three individuals who all add an element to what we are doing, together. We have a lot of respect for our playmates, whether they're single or a couple - and we expect the same in return.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by eatscherry

Alot of couples (most of them ) are tring to change the rules so they can wife-swap and not be bothered by single guy's or there own hing-up's . Look, swinging is being open with sex with other people that want more orgasoms in diffrent ways . If your hiding it from the person your seeing ......your not a swinger. If you come home and your woman is doing two guys and maybe some women and she just say's "Come on and put your dick in my throat"....your a swinger . As I'v said to people before , it's about being open and honest about sex and friendship .

[MrsVan]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Some here have said that a single they play with is just an accessory. That sounds like they might as well be a strap-on or some other kind of inanimate toy. When we swing with singles, they're not just an accessory or an appendage to us. They are a third person, just as equal in the activity as the two of us are, and just as valuable to the success of the fun we're having. We are three individuals who all add an element to what we are doing, together. We have a lot of respect for our playmates, whether they're single or a couple - and we expect the same in return.

I disagree with anyone who says that a single is an "accessory". They are not a pair of shoes you try on to see if they fit just right and if not put them back in the box when you have changed your mind. They are individuals who explore and I am thankful to those respectful single men and woman out there who help in fulfilling my fantasies as well as MrVans.

MrVan and I have alot of respect that we give our playmates whether couples or singles and we expect the same in return.

MrsVan

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by MrsVan

I disagree with anyone who says that a single is an "accessory". They are not a pair of shoes you try on to see if they fit just right and if not put them back in the box when you have changed your mind. They are individuals who explore and I am thankful to those respectful single men and woman out there who help in fulfilling my fantasies as well as MrVans.

MrVan and I have alot of respect that we give our playmates whether couples or singles and we expect the same in return.

MrsVan

Having been the extra M in countless threesomes with some friends, I am an 'accessory' when it comes to the sex part. They might be great friends of mine, they respect me, but I'm there for their enjoyment more than my own. I am a swinger in an MFM but only when the F is my wife. Its a totally different experiance doing one or the other and when I'm the extra M I am just having sex with a friend.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by MrsVan

I disagree with anyone who says that a single is an "accessory". They are not a pair of shoes you try on to see if they fit just right and if not put them back in the box when you have changed your mind. They are individuals who explore and I am thankful to those respectful single men and woman out there who help in fulfilling my fantasies as well as MrVans.

MrVan and I have alot of respect that we give our playmates whether couples or singles and we expect the same in return.

MrsVan

We have the same regard for our single swing friends as we do our couple friends.

[eatscherry]

I think alot of you for saying what you are , but do any of you swing with a single just because or would mind if your women went to a orgy or your man liked being with a girl that was just......different?

[JustAskJulie]

Swinging is different things for different people. Each couple (or single) has their own rules for what they are comfortable with, just because someone else doesn't play by those rules doesn't mean that that person isn't a swinger. That said, each person (or couple) has to deal with the rules of others, and if they don't want to deal with those rules then they don't play together. Everyone swings for different reasons and just because someone else's reasons aren't the same as yours doesn't mean you are better than they or that they are not a swinger.

Yes, swinging is about recreational sex, wife-swapping is just one facet of swinging, along with so many other facets that I won't even start to name because there's no way I can name them all.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by MrsVan

I disagree with anyone who says that a single is an "accessory". They are not a pair of shoes you try on to see if they fit just right and if not put them back in the box when you have changed your mind. They are individuals who explore and I am thankful to those respectful single men and woman out there who help in fulfilling my fantasies as well as MrVans.

MrVan and I have alot of respect that we give our playmates whether couples or singles and we expect the same in return.

MrsVan

I'm riding the fence on this one. I absolutely agree with Mrs. V that no human being is ever a piece of property, a toy you play with and then discard of......this is how Jay feels when the single guys act like he is in their way. OUCH.

However, I also read Chicup's post, and have to admit that I agree. The single person in there primarily (now of course, all couples are different) for the enjoyment of the couple. He or she is an enhancement. It seems that most, NOT ALL before I get flamed, 3somes are geared towards pleasing the lady of the 3some. And this is great, I see no problem with it. But the 3rd person is, in my book, there to be an enhancement. Different from 2 couples to me.

[Edison Carter]

Susan here--

This is like a friend of mine who explained he was a Christian to another person. He was then told he was the wrong type of Christian and it didn't count.

The truth is, group sex is group sex. If you're single, you're swinging. If you're married, you both must be involved or it's cheating.

It always cracks me up how a sub group, like Swingers, break themselves into more subgroups and try to exclude others.

I don't think when I was single and playing with a married couple and I was going down on the woman while her husband was fucking me into next week from behind (and me loving it-by golly) that if we stopped time to ask them if I was a Swinger, that they'd say,"Oh no, this doesn't count."