Meeting couple in person for first time

[floridanudist]

I will be meeting a couple for the first time, whom I met online.

If the woman initiated and maintained all prior communications, and also arranged our first meeting, then is it always considered proper and appropriate to first shake hands with the man and address the couple by the man's name first upon initial contact?

What is considered the proper ediquette here? This is an area totally new to me, and I realize that first impressions are always most critical in any relationship.

I figure that with most couples, the man is traditionally the boss and usually calls the shots, but with other's, the woman takes charge.

[TeamSoBe]

This is from the male half of a couple that enjoys single males every once in a while.

There is no ritual, don't worry about being so formal or else you're going to look a little neurotic and that's a big turn-off. Just try to be act comfortable and confident, and be sure to acknowledge the guy and let him be in charge. They know that you are there because you are interested in fucking the woman, so you don't have to put on a big act and pretend like you're there to be hubby's best friend. Your responsibilities are simple:

1) Respect the woman and make her feel attractive and special.
2) Let the man be in charge if he wants to be, he has final say over you.
3) Don't cause any problems or create any drama.

If you can do those things then you will probably get laid. If you all three well then you might get laid over and over with the same couple. Screwing up any one of those three things is an automatic disqualification. Acting overly formal and self-conscious is a violation of rule #3. It's going to make you look a little 'off' and that's a warning sign for potential drama that couples learn to avoid when they look for single guys. Which one of them you make eye contact with first and what you call them when you first say hello is far less important than whether or not you seem like a neurotic weirdo.

[floridanudist]

I guess too I should relax and just be myself, just as though I was meeting any other new friends. BTW, our first meeting is in a popular nightclub, rather than the couple's home. Speaking of being too formal, I certainly won't be dressing up in a business suit & tie.

To make the women feel attractive, I would guess it's fine to politely complement her on her hair, personals photos, etc.. (She is indeed very attractive). I guess I should probably mainly get her to talk about herself and be a good listener. I should definely not butt-in when they are talking, and should avoid bringing up touchy subjects into the conversation such as guns & hunting, unless they bring it up. "Nude sunbathing" should be a safe topic, since I already know they are nudists like myself.

One thing I definetly don't want to do is be late, so I'd be sure to allow sufficient driving time to get there.

Thank you,
Fred

[Flori_DAMAN]

It sounds like you have the potential for a great meeting coming up here.

If the female initiated the contact and has done the screening process then likely the hubby will trust her instincts and without being obvious I might suggest that you focus on really listening to the females questions and taking mental notes on her priorities. Of course don't ignore the male but as you implied you don't want to create a buddy, buddy relationship with the guy that may her feel like a third wheel.

Don't forget to screen them too. Even though she may look like she belongs in a playboy centerfold watch out for those vibes that give away possible pitfalls. Be observant of subtle clues that they have disagreements about how things should go. If they disagree on anything that involves, the where, how or when, then that is a red flag. There are some instances where the wifey is doing a revenge thing and hubby isn't thrilled with it. That is unlikely but just one of many scenarios that could arise.

It pays to be on your toes, and not drink too much being very perceptive of body language, remarks and signals that could be indicators of problems once you are in the bedroom.

The ideal situation for a single male is when the female is in charge and likes you. But don't compromise your integrity for a lay. After the initial "hi how r ya" and general social conversation in my opinion it is wise to get to the point of what it is that they really really want. It is equally important that they want what you want. Maybe she wants to see you buttfuck him.....ya know. or maybe she wants what he doesn't want.....many variables.

If they spend hours without broaching the subject then it may be a good idea to gently bring up the subject of the meeting substance. Don't be afraid of being forward about what you expect if they hesitate to discuss it.

Couples have limitations and so do single guys. Make yours clear when the time is right. Timing is everything though. Its a bitch to be still yapping at 1 am because everyone feels too awkward to bring up the real matter of the meeting.

If i could give any advice here it would be to steer the conversation only if they don't.

I hate meeting at a loud dance club though. The music is so loud and the conversation can be hard to manage.

Always go with the idea that there is a percentage chance. In your case I'd give it 60/40 in your favor but don't beat around the bush until its too late to eat around the bush. John.

[floridanudist]

John,
They seem like a very nice couple who are intelligent, educated and Worldly. Yes, the woman infact handled 100% of the communications with me. They probably wanted to meet in a public place because they feel it's safe. It's a nice Yuppy bar, so maybe it won't be too noisy.

The husband is straight and likes to watch. This is good since I am straight. My limitations in the bedroom would be sex with a man, also anything extreme such as S&M, bondage, watersports, or anal sex.

When meeting at the nightclub, should I sit close to the woman and complement her on her hair, good looks, and photos? Should I refrain from touching the woman during the initial meeting? I'm sure that being too aggressive can't possibly be good.

That's a good question, how to bring up the subject of sex, and how soon should it be brought up in the conversation? Within the first 20 minutes? I don't think there's any magical formula, but I don't think talking about computers for 2 hours would be very productive. Maybe I should tell them about what turns me on, such as massaging a woman all over with oil, before sex. I wouldn't outright say something crude like: "When would you like to Fuck?" *LOL!* I guess it might be ok to ask when we would like to get together to "fool around" or "have fun"? BTW, I hope being primarily interested in straight sex without the kinky stuff is not considered too square.

For subtile cues & body language, I guess she might wink at me or blow in my ear?

Fortunately, I'm not much of a drinker. I might have one alcoholic drink in 2 months. I hope it's not a problem if I only want to have 1 drink but they have many?

Fortunately, I do have lots of prior experence with an older swinger couple who is now no longer seeing any friends due to the husband's health problems, so I am not new to swinging. Maybe I should tell the couple about my fun experiences with this past couple.
Fred


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http://www.beyourowndetective.com

[TeamSoBe]

You're thinking WAY too hard about this. Overthinking it and over-analyzing will make you seem desperate or strange or both.

Any single guy that's into swinging should have already mastered the fundamentals of flirting with women and getting them into bed. Swinging is an expert-level activity relative to other forms of sexual expression. You really need to be fully comfortable with all of the basic building blocks like how to meet new people, flirting, reading peoples' signals, all of that. You're headed for drama and disappointment if you haven't already developed all of those skills.

[JustAskJulie]

We also occasionally swing with single males. And the one thing I always look for is confidence. The rate you are over-analyzing everything makes me think that you are really lacking in that area. My advice would be to go to the club expecting a night of dancing and fun. I hope you dance, otherwise the whole club thing will be a waste and that alone may cause your failure. Don't go in expecting to get laid that night regardless of how well things are going.

You mentioned that the woman handled 100% of the communications. Have you talked to her on the phone at all? If not, how do you really know for sure that she handled all the communications? It could be that the guy did so in her name (it's not an uncommon occurance).

Think of this as a date, just like any date with a woman that you've been on. Go with the same mentality but remember that instead of this date being with just a woman, you are on a date with a couple.

When on a date (I would hope) you usually compliment the woman upon meeting (whether you meet her somewhere or pick her up). The compliment should be on something that is right in front of you (not on what you've seen previously). "That's a great dress", "Wow you look great, I really like that......" And at the same time remember that you are meeting her husband as well. "Hi, how ya doing? It's great to finally meet you. You know you have a really hot wife here....." Be sure to include him when talking throughout the night, don't allow him to feel like a third wheel on a date.

Above all, relax, enjoy yourself and just go with the flow. Don't force anything. If things don't seem quite right remember this is just a date and just because you met them doesn't mean that you have to do anything with them or that they will even want you to. Many couples will prefer that this first date be just a first date and then they will go home afterwards and discuss it and decide from there if they want to see you again and take it further. You should go with the same idea, so that you can go home afterwards and think about it as well. On the other hand you may present yourself so well and turn her on so much that they want to take you home that night. If that is the case and you also enjoyed the night GREAT!. If that's the case and you are feeling like maybe they aren't the perfect couple, then as someone else mentioned earlier, don't jeapordize your integrity just to get laid.