I feel sorry for single males re: profiles

[Tybee Swing]

Like many people, we prefer for a single male's (or anybody else's) personal ad to have classy pictures, not genitalia. We prefer detail in the personal ad such as what they like, what they have to offer, etc. We like to see some intelligence in the profile and hopefully a feel for their personality. It's great if they're articulate. In other words, we have the same "standard" preferences in profiles that many people say they look for.

But, when I read couple's profiles who are open to single men, I'm surprised how many of them require a dick pic, and they even have minimum requirements that are pretty high. I've read things in couple's profiles like, "If you're a single male, you better have something very special to offer" or "single males must measure at least 9" and be thick". They don't have the same requirements of the male half of a couple, though.

When I read couple's profiles like this, it's no wonder to me that some of the single men have profiles that feature their large member (which turns off the rest of us). I can see how single males would be confused about what to feature in their profile, whether or not to brag about and/or show the size of their cock. If I was a single man, I'd be confused. Because of this, I give a male the benefit of the doubt, at first, if they're presenting themselves in a way that we think is too crude. We'll talk to him a bit and see if he's a decent guy, or not.

Has anybody else noticed this regarding how couples vary so greatly in what they expect from the single guys?

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Has anybody else noticed this regarding how couples vary so greatly in what they expect from the single guys?

"Different strokes," we presume. Some women in this lifestyle are size queens who want a specific length and/or girth to make the situation worthwhile for them. For others, perhaps its a way of weeding out large numbers of single men who would otherwise contact them.

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

I can see how single males would be confused about what to feature in their profile, whether or not to brag about and/or show the size of their cock.

Regardless of which approach is taken, no one can please all of the people all of the time. All a guy can do is try his best to attract the kind of people he wants to meet, whether its couples who want just a big dick or couples who want something more.

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Because of this, I give a male the benefit of the doubt, at first, if they're presenting themselves in a way that we think is too crude. We'll talk to him a bit and see if he's a decent guy, or not.

Wow! What a novel idea!!! :rollseyes

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Has anybody else noticed this regarding how couples vary so greatly in what they expect from the single guys?

Absolutely!

We try to remind ourselves when we see an ad that we don't like that single men have no idea what to do. They change their ad based on the response of one couple only to be rejected by the next couple because of those changes...

We base our interest on the way they write - not always what they write - and what they are into.

You have to give them a little latitude.

Then again - if the only thing on the profile is a picture of a their erection, a proclamation of how god-like they are in the sack and a rant about "where are all the real people?" we tend to pass - latitude or not

Spoomonkey

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Dynamar

Wow! What a novel idea!!! :rollseyes

I know it seems silly, but really, people will just write the guy off immediately for having a dick pic - even if the last five couple's profiles he read said he'd better have a darned impressive one. LOL

[Couple_N_Ark]

We personally don't care if a profile has a revealing pic or not, and we certainly never require one before meeting someone.

The only thing a revealing photo in a profile might do for us is turn us away if it is "too large". YES, TOO LARGE....Lisa simply does not like, nor enjoy a man who is too big. It honestly hurts her and she gets no enjoyment from it.

We'll often get an email proclaiming how large they are, and we just have to honestly tell them that Lisa would not be interested since she would not be able to handle or enjoy "it".


Our profile states that we meet single men. We do ask that they at least have "face photos" on their profile, and if their photos are private to make them available for us before emailing........this is simply because we get tons of emails from single men, and this helps us weed them out.

We've met men of various sizes, and races, so the pic thing is not necessarily to screen out anyone.

The one BIG requirement we have is for a man to be single. We try VERY hard not to meet a married man who is cheating.

[Darter02]

This may be odd but I actually wrote my profile to reflect who I am and not to appeal to the masses of couples. When I was a “couple” my partner did write a number of “requirements” for potential single males. I also saw the hoops she’d make some of them leap through. I am not interested in doing any of that, making requirements OR jumping through hoops.

My approach has been to be upfront, honest and myself. I never contact couples first, unless it’s to make a comment about something I find intelligently written that strikes a cord or exceptional photography.

In a world that is mainly meant for couples I would rather hang back, be myself and enjoy the wonderful friends I’ve made in this lifestyle. I guess I am fortunate to have been part of a couple for a few years in the lifestyle. It has given me a unique perspective on what to expect as a single male. To that end I conduct myself with self respect and respect for others. I see no reason to attempt to portray myself falsely or in a manner to appeal to someone I would most likely not be interested in anyway.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Darter02

This may be odd but I actually wrote my profile to reflect who I am and not to appeal to the masses of couples. When I was a “couple” my partner did write a number of “requirements” for potential single males. I also saw the hoops she’d make some of them leap through. I am not interested in doing any of that, making requirements OR jumping through hoops.

Bravo! Great post.

The photo in your profile here is beautiful! I see that you're an artist/photographer - the photo suits you well.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

We try to remind ourselves when we see an ad that we don't like that single men have no idea what to do. They change their ad based on the response of one couple only to be rejected by the next couple because of those changes...

We base our interest on the way they write - not always what they write - and what they are into.

Thanks, Spoo! We feel the same way, and we also respond more to the way they write and how the communications are going.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Couple_N_Ark

The only thing a revealing photo in a profile might do for us is turn us away if it is "too large". YES, TOO LARGE....Lisa simply does not like, nor enjoy a man who is too big. It honestly hurts her and she gets no enjoyment from it.

I hear you on that!!! Me, too. Also, like you, we like to ask for face pics and we share ours, too.

[LikeMinds321]

I have a different view on this subject.

I first want to say that we have never blocked single males (even though we aren't seeking them at this time) and we've never felt they've been any worse to deal with than some couples who contact us and leave us saying, "Why did they ever think we'd be interested, we have nothing in common?"

I don't see single males as having any more to consider when putting their profile together than couples do. Couples receive the same mixed messages; they have to decide who those messages are coming from and if they are the type of people they want to appeal to.

I think as a newbie any swinger is going to make mistakes with their profile, and in time, after reading other profiles and discovering the kind of people writing you or rejecting you, we all learn what those mistakes are and how to improve the message we send out to others.

If a guy knows the type of people and sexual experiences he's seeking, he'll soon learn how to put a profile together that will attract the right type of people for him.

Some people never pick up on this matchmaking ability, this goes for both couples and singles.

LM

[EvilMJ]

We don't like to rule anyone out without giving them a chance.

However, a profile with just a dick pick to me is comparable to being handed an unrapped present on christmas morning, sure it ultimately it was what you wanted, but where was the fun you have taking everything off to get to it.

I am more likely to respond to someone who has a face pic, or a bare chest then I would to just a dick photo. That and a man who can type a message in full sentences, make sense and not be crass or disgusting.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

I can see how single males would be confused about what to feature in their profile, whether or not to brag about and/or show the size of their cock. If I was a single man, I'd be confused.

I may be a thousand years behind the times here, but it seems to me that even on a sex site, it's important to use a little class and style when meeting somebody for the first time. It's hard for me to associate "class" or "style" with a guy whose lead-in pic is one of him flogging his dick.

FACT - In the 10 years I've been meeting people online, both as part of a couple and more recently as a single, I have NEVER had a woman ask me for a picture of my dick prior to going to bed with me. I've never even had a woman ask my shoe size before inviting me into her boudoir. I've had them ask everything else...my height, weight, what I do for a living, how many kids I have and their ages, how many motorcycles I own and what brands, even what kind of beer I drink...but NEVER a question about my dick, nor a request to see a picture of it before deciding whether I, or my endowment, are "worthy" of her companionship.

In other words, not one single woman who ever saw my dick in person, ever saw a picture of it first.

I can't speak for "you girls" when it comes to what you find attractive in a man. But from a guys perspective, it seems like, as long as a guy has 5 or 6 inches, you can work with it. Anything less might be a problem, and anything more a bonus, but at least you're willing to risk the possibility that a guy might be smaller than average before you invite him to bed.

[JustAskJulie]

This leads to some interesting questions for couples who swing with single males.....

What are your criteria for selecting single males?

What do you request in your ad? Are your ads even open to single guys? Do you request pictures? If so, what types of pictures are acceptable? Preferable?

What type of communication do you expect before meeting them?

When you do meet them what type of interaction do you expect?

What will win you over and make you decide to swing with him?

[HappyPeople]

What are your criteria for selecting single males?

They must be single, bi, attractive, and articulate

What do you request in your ad? Are your ads even open to single guys? Do you request pictures? If so, what types of pictures are acceptable? Preferable?

Our ad is open to single guys. We do not request pictures in our ad but do in mail. We prefer pictures that show the fellow without his shirt but not naked. Smiling wins big points. Photos of his penis or him in his underwear are usually laughed at.

What type of communication do you expect before meeting them?

Brief PG chat... Enough so that we feel that we can have a conversation with him once we meet.

When you do meet them what type of interaction do you expect?

Him to be a gentleman and behave appropriately - like he would on a date with a single female.

What will win you over and make you decide to swing with him?

Being able to relax around him. Not feeling "hunted", pushed, or rushed. Laughing together.