Can I Ever find True love with a woman who enjoys this lifestyle?

[KingDavidI]

Hello! I am a single black college student living in grandrapids michigan and my question is can someone ever fall in love with a women who enjoys this lifestyle??? i mean most people think its all about sexxx and nothing else but i know deep down inside you can find someone who is exstremely sexually active and still have a normal loving,caring,committed relationship. (atleast thats what i tell myself) but anyway i want to here from someone who has or have had a longterm relationship with a female swinger i need to know if its possible because being committed to one person is hard and besides i wouldn't even know where to start looking most of the bi-women i've spoken too are already taken. it has to be more than sex involved Right????

[Alura]

There is definitely more involved, King David.

When I met Mrs. Alura, I had given up on ever finding a woman who wouldn't run at the first hint of communication. I was forty years old. All I did was work, sleep and eat, with emphasis on the former. I didn't date.

Mrs. Alura managed one of the retail outlets my company owned. By fluke, I chanced to visit her store. At the end of the workday, she asked me, "How about taking me out to dinner?"

We got to the restaurant about 6:30PM and sat there until past ten eating and talking and looking into each other's eyes. At one point I asked, "May I ask you a personal question?"

"Can we make a deal?" she asked.

"Probably," I replied. "What do you mean?"

"Let's agree to never get angry when we ask a question of each other and to always answer it completely. Then we'll never have to fear to ask any question or to share any thought. Ask me anything you want, the more personal the better. I think there are a lot of questions we'd both like to ask."

An hour later we were fucking our brains out on her living room floor. We began to adore each other that evening and the feeling has never ebbed. Now, twenty-six years later, we're coping with heart failure caused by chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer. The odds are against us.

We're grateful for those 26 years and greet every morning with a "thank you" to the Great Spirit for the new day. We don't mope and cry for ourselves because we've agreed to stay happy as we've always been.

So my advice is to communicate from the very beginning... about everything.. and learn to never fear each other.

Where to find her? Hell, I don't know, but I will guaran-damn-tee you that you'll recognise each other immediately. I would say to look for her in colleges, not bars, but otherwise you're on your own.

Mr. Alura

[KingDavidI]

26yrs thats wonderful and after reading your post i'm convinced that you are the luckest man on the face of the earth. to find a women that says we can each other anything and keeping there word is a horse of a differnent color buddy. but i'm happy for you because you can say it:

It better to have had and lost lost than to never have loved at all...
i'm pretty sure that how it go's...Thanks!!!!

[KingDavidI]

lucky Dogg you!!

[Alura]

King David wrote:

...to find a women that says we can [ask] each other anything and keeping there word is a horse of a differnent color buddy.

I agree I'm the luckiest man in the world, Your Excellency. It was pure chance that we met at all.

Still, we've worked hard at keeping the avenues of communication open. We've learned the hard way (in previous relationships) that every time one misleads, even in a small way, a nail is driven into the coffin of love.

You can be just as lucky. When you meet a woman who is open to a real relationship, simply make sure she understands your goals, wants them herself, and is willing to work to make it happen.

Mr. Alura

[Tybee Swing]

Mr. Alura,

Your story is beautiful, simply beautiful.

Wishing you both the best of everything,
TS

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by KingDavidI

Hello! I am a single black college student living in grandrapids michigan and my question is can someone ever fall in love with a women who enjoys this lifestyle??? i mean most people think its all about sexxx and nothing else but i know deep down inside you can find someone who is exstremely sexually active and still have a normal loving,caring,committed relationship. (atleast thats what i tell myself) but anyway i want to here from someone who has or have had a longterm relationship with a female swinger i need to know if its possible because being committed to one person is hard and besides i wouldn't even know where to start looking most of the bi-women i've spoken too are already taken. it has to be more than sex involved Right????

Wise words from Alura, KDI!

But there are many here whose relationships are just as precious. I'm not sure exactly what it is you're asking, KDI. Are you asking is it possible to allow someone you are in love with to have sex with someone else? Or are you asking how one coule possibly fall in love with a woman who unabashedly has sex with multiple partners? Or are you asking how to find a woman (who already is into the lifestyle) that you can develop a LTR with? Perhaps if you clarify your question a little, we could offer some advice.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Alura

I agree I'm the luckiest man in the world...

You know - I do too...

Hopefully in 26 years I can say that it is me, but after reading your story, yours is a relationship that we should all strive to build with our beloved.

Spoomonkey

[fun4Ds]

alura we love you guys. your opinions have always been wise and heartfelt to us personally. we to share a 26 year marrage,we have been in the hospital ourselves latley. something i learned from my grandfather was to every day before we sleep i say i love you to my wife. best advice i every had in life. i always think that is what got us this far.

MR.king david i couldnt wish you more luck than your journey in finding what you are looking for.

[sereneiders]

I was about to ask the same Intuition897 just did.

FYI, I am in love with my wife since 16 years ago, and we started swinging 2 years ago. When starting we had our fears, like everyone else, but as to be able to swing you need to develop an extremelly high degree of communication (to achive it, for us, took years), and that alone enhanced our relationship to the point I hadrly believe I'll ever be able to meet someone else like my wife in my entire life, and I know the same happens to her with me.

You may look at this this way: you get to know a soulmate, one who knows every wish you have, every fear you have, your strengt and your weakness, the best you have, and the worst you have (even those things that you wouldn't dare to tell anyone else, ever), that enjoys watching the pleasure in your face, even when she's not the one providing it (or just the opposite, being the one providing it by borrowing other women features and enjoy you enjoying them), who actually enjoy guessing what's going on in your head when you're having sex with someone else, knowing what trills you, smiling at you in the middle of the action because she knows something your playmate doesn't, things that only you two know and share. Someone allowing you to fly, without cutting your wings, without putting a ceiling, just because she loves you, wants you to enjoy life at the most, feeling happy for being part of your experience.

Now, if you find a woman like this one... would you dare to leave her? to look for someone else? What else would be that thing you crave that you wont get from her?

If you grasp my point here, then I'll turn the tables and ask you, if you were up to give the same gift my wife gave to me, to a woman, just because you love her... why would you believe she won't be able to appreciate it the same way I do with my wife?

[KingDavidI]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Wise words from Alura, KDI!

But there are many here whose relationships are just as precious. I'm not sure exactly what it is you're asking, KDI. Are you asking is it possible to allow someone you are in love with to have sex with someone else? Or are you asking how one coule possibly fall in love with a woman who unabashedly has sex with multiple partners? Or are you asking how to find a woman (who already is into the lifestyle) that you can develop a LTR with? Perhaps if you clarify your question a little, we could offer some advice.

its every question you commented on sweetheart see for it to be a longlasting relationship all those things you mentioned have to be in place because any where your lacking in those areas could end it all not too mention the jealousy and envy the power struggles....how can you carry on a swinging lifestyle and have it workout for 26yrs like this guy.......and he's a poet too that how she gave it up like that( a nail driven in the coffin of love!!) great title for a song the rollingstone would love that if mick hasn't allready written it yet......thats wonderful

[KingDavidI]

Originally Posted by sereneiders

I was about to ask the same Intuition897 just did.

FYI, I am in love with my wife since 16 years ago, and we started swinging 2 years ago. When starting we had our fears, like everyone else, but as to be able to swing you need to develop an extremelly high degree of communication (to achive it, for us, took years), and that alone enhanced our relationship to the point I hadrly believe I'll ever be able to meet someone else like my wife in my entire life, and I know the same happens to her with me.

You may look at this this way: you get to know a soulmate, one who knows every wish you have, every fear you have, your strengt and your weakness, the best you have, and the worst you have (even those things that you wouldn't dare to tell anyone else, ever), that enjoys watching the pleasure in your face, even when she's not the one providing it (or just the opposite, being the one providing it by borrowing other women features and enjoy you enjoying them), who actually enjoy guessing what's going on in your head when you're having sex with someone else, knowing what trills you, smiling at you in the middle of the action because she knows something your playmate doesn't, things that only you two know and share. Someone allowing you to fly, without cutting your wings, without putting a ceiling, just because she loves you, wants you to enjoy life at the most, feeling happy for being part of your experience.

Now, if you find a woman like this one... would you dare to leave her? to look for someone else? What else would be that thing you crave that you wont get from her?

If you grasp my point here, then I'll turn the tables and ask you, if you were up to give the same gift my wife gave to me, to a woman, just because you love her... why would you believe she won't be able to appreciate it the same way I do with my wife?

There was a very populars song that came out in the late 80's called the C&C music factory and it was called "things that make you go hummmm!" thanks!!!

[KingDavidI]

Damn no wonder she gave it up like that your a poet too? " a nail in the coffen of love." thats beautiful..............

[KingDavidI]

Originally Posted by KingDavidI

lucky Dogg you!!

a nail in the coffen of love!!! thats why she gave it up like that your a poet too.......smooth

[KingDavidI]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Wise words from Alura, KDI!

But there are many here whose relationships are just as precious. I'm not sure exactly what it is you're asking, KDI. Are you asking is it possible to allow someone you are in love with to have sex with someone else? Or are you asking how one coule possibly fall in love with a woman who unabashedly has sex with multiple partners? Or are you asking how to find a woman (who already is into the lifestyle) that you can develop a LTR with? Perhaps if you clarify your question a little, we could offer some advice.

its all of that rolled into one there going to be jealousy and envy and selfishness your going to have to deal with and on top of that you never really know if she will choose someone else or even himself who knows its hard enough for a married couples to stay fateful to one another so it must be painful when you know you wife or husband is skrewing around on you right????