Beware of Single Males Bearing Gifts...

[Thrax]

I was contacted by a couple in December. They are long-time nudists but say they are relative newbies to swinging. They are full-time members of the on-premise club I belong to, but I never met them (which is not out of the ordinary). After much emailing back and forth we are meeting for breakfast on Sunday morning, and if things work out, we will be going to their place to watch the Stillers play the Colts. And, as a sidepoint, in a reversal of the general order of things, I will NOT be the n00b this time! More on that if you wanna know.

Anyway, I’m doing the usual manscaping tonight in preparation for the Sunday meeting, and will take the usual small stash of condoms and lube, just in case. (Oh, puuhhhhleeezzzz, Lord!....)

If I’m invited to a swing house-party or campout, I usually take a covered dish, usually some tailgating thing (chili, cookies, cake, etc.) I’ve learned to prepare, but for couples or single female encounters I usually take some combo of the following: flowers, scented candle, pistachios or some other kind of snack nuts, little bags of Ghirardelli – or similar – chocolates, or some other type of giftee thang. I’ve never been married, but the realist in me (or the cynic) learned early on in my few long-term relationships, that small gifts, even if a tad inappropriate, go a long way. Yes, YES, I know I’m cynical and manipulative!

And if I’m meeting up with a couple or single female I also will take a bottle of my own alcohol, or a six-pack. Hey, I think that’s polite, and at the very least I have the alcohol I like to drink, and it gives them the subliminal message that I am not sponging off of them for sex AND alcohol.

So, my question for you couples (actually for the female half) and single females: What are the best and worst “first-meeting-to-maybe-probably-we'll-have-sex” gifts you have received? And if a single male would show up at your door, what would you like as a little gift that would make you go, at least, “Awwwwwwww!” (in a good way)

(I’m just trying to make things easier for the single males and more pleasant for the couples and single females. If you have a problem with that, please don’t answer this thread. Thanks.)

Thrax

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Thrax

And if a single male would show up at your door, what would you like as a little gift that would make you go, at least, “Awwwwwwww!” (in a good way)

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups I have a definite weakness for them, in fact, Ted bribes me with them all the time .

But, to answer your question...

Although we rarely are able to entertain at home, those times that we have our guest have brought wine or scented candles, both are very nice thoughts.

Teresa

[LikeMinds321]

For Me: A teeny, tiny, gold box of Stam chocolates

For Him: A big bottle of Jura Superstition Single Malt Scotch Whisky

LM

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Thrax

I was contacted by a couple in December. They are long-time nudists but say they are relative newbies to swinging. They are full-time members of the on-premise club I belong to, but I never met them (which is not out of the ordinary). After much emailing back and forth we are meeting for breakfast on Sunday morning, and if things work out, we will be going to their place to watch the Stillers play the Colts. And, as a sidepoint, in a reversal of the general order of things, I will NOT be the n00b this time! More on that if you wanna know.

I would feel uncomfortable with a single bringing me a gift. I am married and not trying to date or be "courted" so it would make me feel uncomfortable about his intentions. It would make me feel like he is trying to move in on me with no regard to Spoo or that he felt I owed him something.

Now, we do have a single who is a great friend to Spoo and me and has bought some things (more funny type stuff from our experiences together) and that has been cool because of the long time friendship we've had. But for a new guy, in a just meet situation, while I can understand where you are coming from, it would make me uncomfortable.

Now for this current situation.....if you were sure you would be going to their house to watch the game it would be perfectly acceptable if you wanted to bring your own beer and even a food item for everyone to have during the game. That puts it more as a "good guest" coming over to hang out rather than a move on the wife.

While this may seem a little strange, it is just our little quirk of the lifestyle. We have never been comfortable with gifts from our playmates whether they were singles or couples, with the exception of some that have truly become "friends" totally outside of play.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[sexyshelby]

I was always taught growing up that you should always bring a gift when invited to someone's house. If I'm invited for dinner, I bring chocolates or wine. If invited to watch some football, I'd probably bring a six pack (ok, a twelve pack ) or some snacks (chips, pretzels, nuts).

Candles, flowers, alcohol, food are all good house gifts in my opinion.

But I agree with Mrs. Spoo, I wouldn't concentrate on a gift for the lady, more for the couple or the situation.

~SS

[Thrax]

Good points, all.

When I originally posted the note -- thinking of tomorrow and the meetings I have had in the past -- I was NOT thinking of a gift solely for the female half, but just a token of appreciation, what I think used to be called a "hostess gift" or similar, which was intended for immediate use or to be squirreled away until it could be got rid of: a bottle of wine, some food item, etc.

It's not that I feel that I owe anyone something, or that this is pre-payment in anticipation of some activity, it's just one of those things that we are getting together to have a good time, and here is a little token of my appreciation for you having invited me. Now, let us party.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned...okay, yes I AM old-fashioned...but it is weird to me to be invited to someone's home, even in these circumstances, and not be carrying some kind o' little gift to hand the hosts.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Thrax

When I originally posted the note -- thinking of tomorrow and the meetings I have had in the past -- I was NOT thinking of a gift solely for the female half, but just a token of appreciation, what I think used to be called a "hostess gift" or similar, which was intended for immediate use or to be squirreled away until it could be got rid of: a bottle of wine, some food item, etc.

Even with "vanilla" friends if we're invited to a party, get together, cook out, etc. I always ask if there is anything we can bring. Those kinds of gifts I think would be fine. It's, more like you said, a gift to add to the party (something we can eat or drink right then). I don't think of those as "gifts" as much as they're a contribution to the event.

If you keep it along those lines I think it would be welcomed and appreciated.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[valley]

When we invite a guy for dinner,it means we already know him and have either had sex with him or intend to, that evening.He certainly has'nt been invited to watch sport(other than the horizontal type). Usually guests bring some beers or wine,its the done thing.However if he is a clever little boy he will have some nice flowers with him. Smart men know that all women are suckers for flowers.

In addition ,if he wants to prove his sincerity he will have a pack of 12 condoms gift wrapped too. flamethrow

[In2curiosity]

In addition ,if he wants to prove his sincerity he will have a pack of 12 condoms gift wrapped too. flamethrow[/quote]





I think this would freak me out.....not sure why. I would want him to have condoms, and would provide them just in case he didn't....but if they were gift wrapped. Just seems off to me.


Mrs. Me

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by valley

In addition ,if he wants to prove his sincerity he will have a pack of 12 condoms gift wrapped too. flamethrow

It is expected and goes without say I think that guys single or married should always have condoms. I think it would be a little weird if he gift wrapped them. Spoo and I have been surprised how many times at the club we'll be talking with a couple or a single and they never bring condoms. We use to supply them but Geezzzz, buy your own dude!!

Mrs Spoomonkey

[HappyPeople]

I would bring something appropriate for the setting. If we invited a guest over to watch the game and the guest brought beer, covered dish, and something like a large bag of M & Ms, we'd be happy. However, if the guest brought scented candles, we'd find it a bit innapropriate for the scene.

Now if it's a second visit to watch a movie, after some fun has already happened, flowers, scented candles or something more personal like that might be a good idea.

Just keep it appropriate for what you are invited over to do.

[Spoomonkey]

I realize that we are completely in the minority on this, but honestly we don't expect to be "woo'd". In fact, I would - as a husband - be very turned off by a single guy bringing my wife flowers. It would turn a dinner with possibilities into dinner and "have a nice night - thanks for stopping by."

The gifts that we have gotten from friends (playmates and not) have mostly been of the humorous type. As you may imagine, we have a pretty impressive collection of monkey stuff in our office.

Romantic gifts would just be weird.

Again - I know we are in the minority - and it seems others welcome such tokens. I think what I would do in your shoes would be to stay "event appropriate" as others have suggested. Leave the "awwww" gifts for later when you know the couple would welcome them.

Spoomonkey

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Leave the "awwww" gifts for later when you know the couple would welcome them.

So, you're saying jewelry is out until the second or third visit?



Thrax

[valley]

Did no one get the joke?................12 condoms for the night?

mmmm,Aussie sense of humour ,I guess.

Implying he was a real hot flamethrow stud

[curiousagain]

I think any gift appropriate in a non swinging situation would be most likely to not offend. Drink or food is always good as has already been mentioned. Music is another.