Would like to hook up with the older woman across the street

[akaab39]

Hey guys, new to swingersboard. Looking for some advice. I'm a 21 year old male and live in a well-to-do neighborhood. My across the street neighbor is about 40 years old, married with two kids. We get along great and i often walk across the street to talk when i see her outside. Im really attracted to her and would love a discreet relationship with her. She seems like the type that might be up for that kind of thing, but i do not know for sure. I don't want to approach her about it and get shot down. I do live across the street and i don't want things to be weird every time i see her. How do i go about letting her know my desires? Any help will be appreciated.

[twoferfun69]

First off, Welcome to the board. I would suggest doing a lot of reading here.

Short and simple; if she is married, and they do not swing, it is cheating. Not trying to be uptight here, but that is quite frowned upon by those in the lifestyle. Consentual by all parties is swinging, doing it on the sly from her hubby is cheating
You might be able to broach the subject from a swinging direction.... could be fun facelick

Just my humble opinion.

Twofers

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by akaab39

She seems like the type that might be up for that kind of thing, but i do not know for sure.

Ask her husband...

He'll tell you

Spoomonkey

[BradAndJanet]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Ask her husband...

He'll tell you

Spoomonkey

Or punch you in the mouth.

At least you'll know.

-B

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

akaab39,

I'm afraid you came to the wrong place to ask for advice on how to get a woman to cheat on her husband. Swingers are not cheaters. Cheaters lie and sneak around behind their spouses back and in the end someone gets hurt.

Swinging is something that as a couple we do together. We decided together to share our sex lives with others and we play with other couples that we meet and connect with. We always play in the same room so we can watch each other. There are no secrets, no sneaking around to meet someone behind the others back. There is open and honest communication and trust.

I suggest you leave the neighbor alone with her life, her husband and her children and find someone who is single like yourself. I think choosing to cheat on your spouse can be bad enough by itself but someone who wants to plot a way to get a person to cheat on their spouse...... pretty damn low.

No, you'll get no advice here on how to do this. Wrong place and wrong impression of swingers!!

Mrs Spoomonkey

[akaab39]

boy did that backfire! Sorry to all i offended. I obviously have a lot to learn about my new lifestyle. I hope my apology is accepted

[intuition897]

We do tend to come down pretty hard on anything to do with cheating. I suppose it would do us all some good to remember that we shouldn't be so quick to be offended by inquiries like akaab39's. It's a misunderstanding. And when someone is unfamiliar with the lifestyle, they often come into it with preconceived notions about promiscuous and permissive behaviour...and are usually caught off-guard when they find out otherwise. I think many people are just unaware that there is a healthier, more ethical alternative to adultery.

This post is a little out-of-character for me. I'm usually one of the first ones to jump down someone's throat about cheating.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by intuition897

I suppose it would do us all some good to remember that we shouldn't be so quick to be offended by inquiries like akaab39's. It's a misunderstanding. And when someone is unfamiliar with the lifestyle, they often come into it with preconceived notions about promiscuous and permissive behaviour...and are usually caught off-guard when they find out otherwise. I think many people are just unaware that there is a healthier, more ethical alternative to adultery.

Hard not to, though...

I am glad he apologized - got to respect that... Any guy who learns from his mistake is a big man in my book...

But - he deserved the heat. Heck - better us beat him up a little than the guy across the street. I'll bet he'd agree with us on that...

Spoomonkey

[Uomo]

You're 21 ... and she's 40?

That's all well and good with me ... but let me tell you something ....

She is light years ahead of you in life experience and maturity. Don't try to be slick or clever ... it won't work. Whatever you do will be as transparent as celephane. Make the wrong move and you can plan on an unwelcomed visit from her husband. You are treading in very dangerous waters.

(Outside of the swinging set) Women aren't attracted to men for the same reasons men are attracted to women. You're fishing in the real world. If a married woman is out on the scene, it's not for a one night stand ... she's looking for a husband. Unless there is something extra super wonderful about you (and I'm not talking looks here), I doubt she will look at you as anything more than a horny kid. I hate to be this blunt ... but seriously: at 21 (in the eyes of someone who is 40), you are little more than a grown child. Were I you, I wouldn't attempt it. It just isn't worth it.

[akaab39]

i appreciate the comments and i'm glad you all are chiming in. I'm sure from the outside looking in you guys are on the right path of thinking. It's just that I have a fantasy of being with an older woman and i would like to fufill it before I become to old to have that fantasy. The best thing to happen is to hook up with an older couple. I'd LOVE for that to happen but i just don't have any clue as to how to go about advertising. My personal ads on the internet never get any responses, and i'm not suprised. I'm from New Orleans, the party city of the U.S. It shouldn't be hard to find a couple that would want me, but how do i find them? Thanks for any help i can get.

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by akaab39

i appreciate the comments and i'm glad you all are chiming in. I'm sure from the outside looking in you guys are on the right path of thinking. It's just that I have a fantasy of being with an older woman and i would like to fufill it before I become to old to have that fantasy. The best thing to happen is to hook up with an older couple. I'd LOVE for that to happen but i just don't have any clue as to how to go about advertising. My personal ads on the internet never get any responses, and i'm not suprised. I'm from New Orleans, the party city of the U.S. It shouldn't be hard to find a couple that would want me, but how do i find them? Thanks for any help i can get.

Hi again, akaab. There are a LOT of younger guys with your fantasy. And just as many 'cougars' out there looking for young guys, too! They enjoy the relative naiivete of the younger man, the shift of power where she is in a more dominant position, and of course, the younger man's vigorous health and stamina. This isn't always the case, but I could see myself adopting that mindset in a couple years or so. Sounds like the lady across the street might fit that category. But unless you are able to talk directly and openly with her husband about it, DON'T get involved with her. To qualify as swinging, you need to be on the level with hubby. Ignore him at your peril. Swingers value their marriages and their spouses above all else...and that includes the sex they could be getting elsewhere. They don't put up with people who don't respect others' relationships. And that's the way it should be everywhere, not just in swinging.

If you want to make a go of it, find a way to befriend her husband; you already know you'd get along just fine with her.

About your ad...this is a thread dedicated to profile reviews. Maybe post a link to yours and ask for some opinions/constructive criticism.