have you noticed a trend in increasing number of wives "on the prowl"?

[Carol_Danny]

I don't think there is an increase of married women "on the prowl", I believe it's that they just aren't as discrete as they once were. Years ago, the same thing would happen, but people just didn't have a forum to discuss it, plus people were much more discrete about their "affairs" back then.

You can dig up magazine articles from back in the 50's and 60's that discuss the promiscuity among married ladies! Keep in mind, it just wasn't the women on the prowl, men have always been notorious in that

[curiousagain]

My opinion is not only is it more acceptable, but it seems women use to have to make the excuse to themselves that it was love and not just lust in order for them to justify it to themselves if nobody else. But, now it seems acccepted that women get horny and lusty too. Formerly, they had affairs, boyfriends, lovers. Now they have fuckbuddies. And, they make no apologies for it.

Before, if a woman came on to me, it was in a romantic type of way. Of late, it has been so basic as "I need a new fuckbuddy, you want to be him?"
But if you mention swinging............ Oh heavens no!! They don't want their husbands to have fuckbuddies. The old double standard is alive and well in both gender camps evidently.

Thanks to everybody for their opinions and thoughts. Y'all have pretty much confirmed things for me.

[BodyScape02]

I would say it has alot to do with the two income family.

Men have always had the office to hide all their indiscreet endeavors (business dinner, entertaining clients, and taking “private” phone calls) and the traditional woman was at home- caged. He knew were she was, what she spent and who called because he controlled and monitored the bills and handed out the money. She couldn’t hide or afford to “do” anything or anyone.

NOW women make their own money (or their part of the mortgage). Now they have an office phone, a business lunch, a place they are not monitored by the spouse, a cell phone that is billed to the office to make “private” calls.

Therefore it is Basic human behavior... now they have the opportunity that men have had all these thousands of years...and they have sunk to the same common denominator. They have learned the difference between sex and love and they are not looking to have an affair with someone who can provide for them... just give them a hot thrill.

We as a species are not really meant to be monogamous. We were forced into it by economics... remove that and you will either swing or cheat (and rarely those who would do neither and are mated for life in happy monogamous bliss...god bless them).

So to me, it is not so surprising. It is simply the swing of the pendulum in society... the fact the lie detector test ( college girls and number of partners) showed they underestimated when they felt they would not be caught lying...shows that social conventions are still in place. ie. Promiscuous young men = stud ...but... promiscuous young women= whore. One is valued one devalued.

I think this is due to reproductive issues...a man wants to know the child he is supporting is his...chastity guarantees that for them.... it is just economics.

Desperate housewives has done nothing other than glamorize it enough to make those former hot college girls trapped in marriages of convenience... hot to trot again and able to consider it somehow... glamorous to do so.

Wow that was way too deep...

My only complaint is that being a woman who likes single men in our play... it just adds another level of hot momma's to compete with...lol

So as single men... who would you take the time to be with (in order of preference)?
How would you prioritize who piques your interest and gets playtime?

A. Vanilla single woman (looking for a long term future or marriage)

B. Vanilla single female (looking for just fun)

C. Single lifestyle female (no interest in a future)

D. Single lifestyle female (interested in possible future/ marriage)

E. Swing couple (play together)

F. Female half of a swing couple (playing alone- husband knows)

G. Married and cheating female (discretion a must...not looking for a mate just fun)

[curiousagain]

Hey, that would make a pretty good poll.
You should do that.

For me. I think

D (cause you never know)
A-B (a tie) (cause it's fun and you never know)
C (cause we could still swing as a couple sometimes)
E (It's still fun with the right people)
F (but the husband would have to personally OK it each time)
G (absolute zero interest in cheating wives)


You make some valid points Bodyscape02.

Thanks

[BodyScape02]

this has been a most interesting discussion.. .my compliments to the OP

[BodyScape02]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

Before, if a woman came on to me, it was in a romantic type of way. Of late, it has been so basic as "I need a new fuckbuddy, you want to be him?"
.

Interesting sentance... question for you...


Do you miss the way it was before? I.E. romantic come on as opposed to the basic "I need a F.B., ya wanna be him"?

Why or why not?

[curiousagain]

I don't miss it one iota. There's a lot to be said for honesty. If someone just wants a roll in the hay, then say that. If they are romantically interested, say that.

You know, thinking about it, it's just as aggravating the other way. Sometimes, to "get their foot in the door" women will say they are fine with the FB or FWB thing, but what they really want is a relationship. Everybody ought to be up front. That said, relationships change sometimes so you have to keep a watch for that, both with them and yourself.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by BodyScape02

How would you prioritize who piques your interest and gets playtime?

A. Vanilla single woman (looking for a long term future or marriage)
B. Vanilla single female (looking for just fun)
C. Single lifestyle female (no interest in a future)
D. Single lifestyle female (interested in possible future/ marriage)
E. Swing couple (play together)
F. Female half of a swing couple (playing alone- husband knows)
G. Married and cheating female (discretion a must...not looking for a mate just fun)

Oh Lord, I could write a book on this one...

A - If I met a truly knockout "A" I might take another chance at a committed relationship, but it's hard at this point to imagine anybody coming into my life that would actually make me happy to give up the freedoms I enjoy as a single man. (Of course, that's what I was saying in 1993, just before I met my last wife) I'm not sure I'm ready for monogamy...not sure I ever was, in fact. But if there's a woman over 40 out there with a nice, tight orchestra, an ample, accomodating balcony, and an extra dollop of brains to go with it, I might give her a try.

B - I keep finding myself drawn back to the "B's" They're fun, usually up for almost anything (with the right guy) and there's no shortage of them in the 40-50 age bracket. They have good jobs, their kids are usually out of the house or about ready to leave, and they know what they want and aren't afraid to ask for it. As one, (a mid-40ish college professor, in fact) stated in her initial e-mail to me, "I'm clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be fun, and...I own my own motorcycle" Now how do you top that? This is truly the "sweet spot" for single males. And there are hundreds more where she came from...

C - This is the one that totally baffles me. Why would anyone cultivate some sort of "relationship" with a woman primarily to "trade" her for somebody else on the one night a week (or month, or whenever) they're together? That makes about as much damn sense as "buying a used car from a dealer so you'll have something to trade in when you go back to the dealer the next day to buy a different used car." If I'm really getting the feeling that I'd like to try something, or someone, new in my bed, I do what most normal guys do...I get on the phone and make a few calls. (Single people do that)

( A personal peeve - I see this all the time on swingers websites..."I'm looking for a single female to swing with" NOOO dude...you're looking for a piece of ass anywhere you can find it. You're obviously not getting it from women who already know you and you're too cheap to buy it, so you post your ad in the hopes that by finding a "ticket" into the lifestyle, you'll be able to "trade" whatever you find for somebody you really want to fuck. Admit it...you're not a "swinger," you're a horse-trader!)

D - I've met and dated a few D's who had profiles posted on swingers websites such as SB, Swappernet, and AFF. Two of them actually had some serious long-term potential, but didn't pan out for various reasons...usually timing. Ultimately, you have to look beyond what kind of swing partners they are, and ask yourself what kind of life partners they're likely to be. And if you think that finding a "single, bisexual female" is tough, try finding a "single, female swinger" on an adult website, who's both emotionally complete and has her baggage "stowed safely in the overhead compartment." Sorry, but too many "D's" are using their status as "swingers" to restore some sort of quality to their lagging romantic life.

(Another personal peeve - Single males are often accused of using women as "tickets" to the swinging lifestyle. But nobody mentions the women who become "swingers" to attract a certain type of man...one who almost certainly would not be attracted to them were they not in the lifestyle. Men can be "tickets" also.)

E - Can be fun...IF I truly and genuinely like spending time with them as a couple. Sounds gay, I know, and maybe it is to some extent. I just know that when it all works, it's about as "fun" as "fun sex" can be. When it doesn't, it's ugly and discomforting to me, in addition to whatever problems it exacerbates in their relationship.

F & G - Both bring varying degrees of drama, scheduling problems, or limitations on what we can do or how much time we have to get it done. Unless it's somebody I already know or there's something else that mitigates in favor of getting involved, (Angelina calling and saying that "Brad is overseas making a movie, and could I...?" for example), I really don't have the time to get wound up in somebody else's Dog-and-Pony show.

Bottom line - B,A,D, E, C, F, G

[Carol_Danny]

A though G, in no particular order

[curiousagain]

I look at things a little differently. As far as C. Single lifestyle female (no interest in a future) it might not be to cultivate a relationship, but to date, or help fill out foursomes occasionally. I have been "called in" to fill out a foursome and seen single lifestyle females "called in" in the same way. It's basically a couple hooking up with two singles at the same time.

F would be no different from B except for all of the problems that might crop up and the aggravation and possible guilt, etc. etc. etc. With so many Bs out there, why would a SM go through all of that for an F? She would have to be hotter than the proverbial $2 pistol.

As far as G, well the chances of Angelina calling me or JNCC this year are pretty slim. More than likely, it's going to be the cashier at the stop and rob we frequent on the way to work or the 30 something from accounting that has just decided she is bored with her marriage and blames it all on her husband to justify her infidelity. And while she might be as hot as Angelina, she isn't gone overseas as much as Angelina so one would just be asking for trouble that isn't wanted, needed, or healthy. As JNCC said, B models are out there by the hundreds, why would a SM go through all of that aggravation? Maybe if he felt like he was in love and she was too and then he's just added a couple of tiers to the toppling cake of shit that he is about to have shoved down his throat. No thanks, I'll pass.

[BodyScape02]

wow...

JnCC and curiousagain... you two floor me ( in a good way) between all of the really colorful metaphors and the honest dish... I am enlightened and entertained.

Really cool answers... I enjoy reading you both...

Oh and Angelina could be calling for me...you know she is bi...(evil grin)

~Cat

[EternallySingle]

Interesting topic. Been there recently, and almost ended up in a fight. I think that married women are not as cautious as they used to be, therefore they are not hiding the fact that they are cheating on their husbands.
As for the other question...

D. Single lifestyle female (interested in possible future/ marriage) The Holy Grail, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. If it works you end up with a lifelong partner that is going to be adventurous enough to keep you from getting into a rut, but faithful and honest enough to make you not think of wanting anyone else.

A. Vanilla single woman (looking for a long term future or marriage) Same as above but more available. If I find another woman for a relationship, swinging is only a distant possibility until I know where WE are as a couple. Even with someone who used to swing as a single woman, swinging rarely comes up...unless I know the relationship is only sexual.

B. Vanilla single female (looking for just fun) Got those. Great for a diversion from the tedium of everyday life. No regrets, no apologies, and occasionally she knows where the good parties are.

C. Single lifestyle female (no interest in a future) Same as above, but if she admits to swinging, its probably because she's looking for another male partner for some big event like New Years Eve because her last partner split. You know there's no hope for anything, but again, she's a good diversion, AND she swings, so you don't have to mince words.

F. Female half of a swing couple (playing alone- husband knows)

E. Swing couple (play together) These two are also diversions. They may be friends, they may just be people you have sex with occasionally. Either way, they have less to offer than even single women just looking for sex, so they come further down on my list of priorities. Of course, if there are no other options...

G. Married and cheating female (discretion a must...not looking for a mate just fun) Who wants to be discrete all the time? Sure, you don't want the neighbors to know everytime you have sex and in every position(well, I know one woman that did, but...) but you don't want to hide what you are doing all the time. When I'm online and I see a single woman say "discretion is a must", I automatically think "...because my husband would kill both of us if someone even suggested I was seeing something else".