Thoughts on the various swinging personals websites...

[pistol pete]

First of all, being new to this, I hope i am allowed to ask this question without offending our moderators....

I am looking to join a swinging personals website, as a single guy, and was just curious what experience (good or bad) that each of you might offer as to which would be the best to join. Swappernet, Swinglifestyle, Adult Friend Finder, etc.

I was just hoping to hear some comments before making a decision..

Thanks so much...

Pete

[JustAskJulie]

Hi Pete, I moved your question down to Single & Swinging since you are (I think) looking for the perspective of other singles on your question. Sites that work best for couples, are probably NOT going to be the same sites that singles have the best luck at.

That said, there are several threads here that cover the question of "which ones the best and why?", here's a few:

http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ad.php?t=14295
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ead.php?t=8992
which website is best to meet people


Regarding Swingers Personal Sites and Single Males:
http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ad.php?t=19812

While which site is better wasn't the original topic of this thread, it did delve into that a bit and it will also give you some great advice on profiles (regardless of what site you choose to use):
Single men & Profiles (Advice)

[kevin&danielle]

We are only on Swing Lifestyle. It is a very nice site and has done us well. One feature that you may enjoy is that you can create a profile, view other profiles and send and receive mail for free. There are limitations to how many profile views and emails you can send per day but you can give it a try and if you don't like it you aren't out a dime. As I understand it AFF is basically useless without being a paid member.

Kevin

[BodyScape02]

we have tried all of the above... we did not much like the respondents on AFF...too may bots for us. Swappernet was problematic in its ease of use issues so like K&D we settled into Swing Lifestyle... fairly easy to use format and no real issues with bots and spamming ( Hi I am kimmy we have a great new site we just joined... yada yada ...)

I like that and the fact they took the time to be compliant with the laws ...before it became a problem... how nice it is to "see" a face instead of the constant barrage of phallus shots that used to be attached to mail.

yes I want to know how big it is...but only if I like the rest of you first...lol

just my two very opinionated cents on the matter. It is not to say the other sites are not fine...each has its own clientel that like it for various reasons. We just found a home on Swing Lifestyle.

~cat

[iowancouple96]

We've actually have had better luck meeting couples on SwingVillage. You have a 15 day free trial, and after that, you are limited on what you can do. We did go ahead and got a paid membership, which was very reasonably priced. We also like Swinglifestyle, which is great if you don't want to pay a membership fee. Hope that helps!

[LikeMinds321]

Something else to consider when choosing an ad site is where you live.

Some sites are geared to a very specific area of the country. If you don't live there, no point in joining.

The large sites are very large and again, they may or may not have members in your area. This is were it is nice if you can get a free trial membership and quickly do a search for members in your locale. It might help you decide if it would be worth it to join.

LM

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Something else to consider when choosing an ad site is where you live.

This is a great point. We are on Swing Lifestyle - and the internet has never really worked for us. But, around here (Central Ohio) it seems most people are on SwapperNet. We tried it and it WAS quite active, but we just enjoy our club so much that it doesn't seem worth the time and cost to become paying members.

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie]

Another thing to consider, and the reason I moved this to Singles & Swinging, is that the experience is going to be completely different for a single male than it is for couples. For instance, on Swing Lifestyle while couples can enjoy most of the features completely free for an unlimited time, single males don't have that privilege. That said, they also allow couples to block single males, so that as a single male you should not even see profiles for couples who are not at least somewhat interested IN single males - which is a bonus to you as compared to sites that don't offer this and therefore when you (the single male) tries to look you are going to spend more time picking through couples who have no interest in you.

Take some time and look into each one, try out their free services and search to see how many in your area would potentially be interested in a single male. If they allow you to contact for free, then do so, if not you'll have to weigh your options to determine whether or not it is worthwhile to pay.

[Dynamar]

Single female here. I'm on both Swappernet (paid) and Swing Lifestyle (free). I've become acquainted with single males more on Swapper, and had better luck with couples (to this point) on Swing Lifestyle.

[Sweet_Candy]

We've tried Bay Couples, swingers date club, Swing Lifestyle, and CouplesTouch. Bay Couples had to broad a base with very little exposure locally. swingers date club appeared to be geared towards an international crowd. Swing Lifestyle has been a major disappointment, to many posers. CouplesTouch is based in our area and we've been overwhelmed. Please bare in mind we are very selective. We prefer non-smokers, HWP (these conditions eliminate 95%) which leaves 5% left to choose from. So your milage may vary.

[BodyScape02]

Following

: Caveat to swinging single:

One should note... that you really should be a single man if you state you are... if you are a married man pretending to be single... yes pete this means you!

1. You are lying...that is fraud (technically) not a good way to start or to incur the trust necessary to be welcomed into a couple’s boudoir.

2. This involves a married couple by nefarious means in the act of adultery, without their knowledge or consent. Something most of us find abhorrent.

3. Your actions are the reason so many "legit" single men get shut down cold. You are impairing the ability of those who are deserving, to obtain the opportunity to pursue happiness.

Know this ... in general the swing community is very open, but lying is the one thing we seem to all detest. This lifestyle requires such a deep degree of honest communication and above the board actions that any betrayal of that threatens the very fabric of a relationship.

If you are lying about being single....This is not the lifestyle for you...you will not be welcomed...I suggest you find somewhere married and cheating is what is desired and make it your home. Or pay for it. They are entering into the contract knowing and it is by mutual consent.

Don’t treat this community like free prostitution… we are not about that. No amount of flattery makes it OK.

[pistol pete]

Originally Posted by BodyScape02

Following

: Caveat to swinging single:

... if you are a married man pretending to be single... yes pete this means you!

1. You are lying...

Wow...I realize that I am the newcomer here, and certainly, by no means wish to antagonize or stir the pot. However, I suppose that I think your note was a little overly judgmental and critical.

Webster's dictionary:

lie n.

1. A false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood.
2. Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.


ly·ing v.

1. To present false information with the intention of deceiving.
2. To convey a false image or impression


By definition, a "liar" would be someone passing false statements or conveying a falsehood. If, during the period of introductions and the time in which we're chatting and getting to know one another, I am honest and forthright about my marital status BEFORE ever even attempting to meet for dinner, drinks or whatnot, how can I be lying to you?

I do believe I freely admitted to being married during our chat. Did I not? And rather early on, before ever making any over or suggestive innuendos. If you think I was falsely advertising by calling myself a "single" male, I suppose that would be a different story all together. I had presumed that I was conveying playing as a single, as evidenced by the fact that I told you I was married. However, I suppose reasonable minds may differ as to my motive, and I doubt, after the intensity with which you write, I will ever convince you of anything different.

Nevertheless, I'll take your note as words of wisdom from which to grow. I just hope I can find a "married" stamp for my forehead somewhere. Apparently I need to mention it before saying "Hello, how are you?", regardless of whether I make an honest disclosure later.

My point is that if, while laying naked during our post coital embrace (or during a subsequent conversation), I revealed that I was married, I can clearly understand the feeling of deception that a couple might feel. However, in that I mentioned my marital status during our introductory conversations, I think your chastizing was a little overzealous.

I'll stop here, before saying too much.

But know that I am truly sorry to have offended or caused you to feel misled. I believed then, and still believe now, that I am very candid and forthright about myself. To the extent you felt otherwise, I am indeed apologetic.

- Pete

[txduo2000]

Pete:

Perhaps one thing that causes a red flag is that in your profile information you are listed as a Single Male, when there is an option for Married Male that would definitely have thwarted any initial misunderstanding. Your public description of yourself is in and of itself misleading and deceiving.

It is difficult enough for a bonafide single male to have much success in this lifestyle. That difficulty increases for married males playing without their spouse's consent or knowledge.

The couples in this lifestyle pride themselves on being true and honest and emotionally faithful to one another, and generally have much derision for those who venture into this lifestyle on a foundation of deceit to their spouse, which is why the vast majority of married swingers will not entertain the thought of swinging with a married person acting without the consent and knowledge of his/her spouse.

While I understand your explanation as entered above, you have to understand that there is a huge difference between Single and Married/playing alone, and MANY will take offense at first thinking you are single only to find out later that you are married and playing alone, regardless of when this information comes to light.

[pistol pete]

Originally Posted by txduo2000

Perhaps one thing that causes a red flag is that in your profile information you are listed as a Single Male, when there is an option for Married Male that would definitely have thwarted any initial misunderstanding. Your public description of yourself is in and of itself misleading and deceiving.

I understand your thoughts and stand corrected.

I'll change the profile accordingly.

- Pete

[BodyScape02]

There is also the fine point that I will argue... you did not offer the information ...after 4 e-mails... I asked outright....

So splitting hairs on this is a null point. You chose to label yourself single male for obvious reasons. Choosing to reveal it at a time that is most advantageous to you doesn't make it honorable.

When you start with a lie... how can I ever trust a word that you say?

and by websters defintion... you are still a liar... there is no quid pro quo for "eventually revealing the truth"

In so far as revealing it during our chats... don't make me quote the letter ... that is bunk... If I had never asked I am sure you would never have felt compelled to tell.

~Cat