Advice on MMF Threesome

[NZ40SomthingFem]

Hi there
I am a 40-something year old single female from NZ and have lead a very non-active sexual lifestyle but I have had thoughts and fantasies floating around the old gray matter for a while. A little while ago now, I did the unthinkable, for me, and met with two male strangers, on separate occasions and ended up having sex with them. Although my moralistic side of me questioned my actions, I seem to have stirred up a wild side and I would like to try some different experiences before I get too much older.

I have an opportunity coming up to have sex with two guys (both experienced) and I am very excited about the prospect. If I like the experience I would like to try the bigger swinging scene.

I would appreciate some advice from females who have experienced the MMF threesome and what does one do, what is expected etc.

[LikeMinds321]

Hello!

Welcome to the Swingers Board.

I can understand your desire to explore your sexuality further.

Although I've no experience with your situation, I feel there will be people on the board who will have.

My first thought about a arranging a MMF would be make sure you know the men well enough to trust them.

I'm going to move your thread in the Single and Swinging forum where more members will have an opportunity to respond to your question.

LM

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

My first thought about a arranging a MMF would be make sure you know the men well enough to trust them.

Without knowing more details, this would be my first order of business, as well. I doubt it would be something I would do on a first meet with both of them. Perhaps you already know one or both of them, and if so, that is a good thing.

Yes, there's always a first time for any two or more people to get together, but usually playing with anyone happens after you have at least chatted with them, phoned them, and spent some time getting to know each other in a public venue to create a certain level of trust and comfort.

Above all, don't do anything that your inner voices tells you is suspect or worse, dangerous.

[NZ40SomthingFem]

I do know both of them - one better than the other (in that I have had a sexual liaison with one of them before). there are no heartstrings involved at all - just pure lust and curiosity.

I would just like to know what to expect and what might be expected of me

[corkwan]

i don't think there is a fixed menu, so to speak. it sounds to me like you want to explore your wild side, so i guess you should go as far as you are comfortable. if you do have reservations, say it to them. communicating is very important, people cannot read looks as well as they can understand 'no' or 'please stop'.

anyway, you wanted advice from a female, so i'll promptly shut up. just wanted to say that it is your experience, you can make it what you like.

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by NZ40SomthingFem

I do know both of them - one better than the other (in that I have had a sexual liaison with one of them before). there are no heartstrings involved at all - just pure lust and curiosity.

I would just like to know what to expect and what might be expected of me

Well... that eases my mind then... glad you shared this. As a single, of course, you have to look out for you, both your pleasure and your safety. Like corkwan said, communication will go a long way in ensuring both.

I have not yet experienced an MFM, but am actively working on putting one together with a regular playmate of mine. In our situation, he would join me in the role of "looking out for me" in the event we play with someone who is new to both of us. Other than that... I say just go with what feels good.

Your shared experience will probably also have a lot to do with the level of bi-curiosity, if any, in the men. Will both of them be pleasuring only you, whether separately or together? Or would you rather everyone just get naked and get in a pile, take turns being in the middle, and let the chips fall where they may? facelick

Again, communication about boundaries is always a good idea.

Be sure to come back and let us know how everything worked out

[NakedInSeattle]

Quit trying to over-analyze it. Just relax and go with the flow. I'm gonna assume that these two are in it as much for your pleasure as their own. Let them give you the pleasure that only two guys working on you can give. 4 hands, two cocks. Heaven, gal.

[EternallySingle]

I'm sorry, but a threesome is not just about the woman getting pleasured by two men. Its also about the men being comfortable enough with each other be able to perform with the other man in the room. A single man joining a couple is easy to figure out. The single man has to accept the couple as a whole and the couple has to accept the single man. In this situation, neither guy has to agree to anything, so you have to give them time to accept each other before you can seriously think of actually getting together wth them.

I would suggest inviting them to your place for dinner (only) so they can see if its possible for them to get along knowing that neither one has more of your attention than the other one. THAT is a B*I*G hurdle that a single man joining a couple doesn't have to deal with. If I join a couple, I know I'm there to fulfill their fantasy for the night. Both of these guys are going to be wondering who is the top dog, and until they work out BETWEEN THEMSELVES THAT THEY ARE BOTH YOUR GUEST, NOT THAT ONE OF THEM IS WITH YOU AND THE OTHER IS THE GUEST, nothing will work.

It is possible to arrange a threesome between three unattached people, but you cannot assume that because they are two horny guys that they will be willing to do anything just to have sex with you. They have to trust each other as much as you trust them in order for it to work. If you don't do what's neccessary for them to trust each other, you not only won't get your threesome with them, but you will lose two friends and sex partners as well.

[Lynn&Lee]

The first time we had an MFM us two guys played with the girl for a while in many different positions before we got to the big finish of the MFM sandwich. All the playing caused our little soldiers to get battle weary and they began to retreat. This made the main mission difficult to complete! Surrender Surrender

The two guys need to be hard and full of energy to make it work well so don’t take too long to get there if an MFM sandwich is what you are wanting.

Hope this helps…

[NZ40SomthingFem]

Hey everyone
Thanks for the advice - it is all very useful and plenty to think about. But I guess main thing is to go with the flow. The two guys are both experienced and know each other from some previous encounters. I know one of the guys but not his mate however the one I know assures me that I will enjoy being pleasured and says I have nothing to worry about.

So all that's left for me is to go and enjoy the experience. I will report back once it has happened

Cheers

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by EternallySingle

I would suggest inviting them to your place for dinner (only) so they can see if its possible for them to get along knowing that neither one has more of your attention than the other one. THAT is a B*I*G hurdle that a single man joining a couple doesn't have to deal with. If I join a couple, I know I'm there to fulfill their fantasy for the night. Both of these guys are going to be wondering who is the top dog, and until they work out BETWEEN THEMSELVES THAT THEY ARE BOTH YOUR GUEST, NOT THAT ONE OF THEM IS WITH YOU AND THE OTHER IS THE GUEST, nothing will work.

ES... this is great advice. Thank you!

[northindycpl]

Originally Posted by EternallySingle

I'm sorry, but a threesome is not just about the woman getting pleasured by two men. Its also about the men being comfortable enough with each other be able to perform with the other man in the room. A single man joining a couple is easy to figure out. The single man has to accept the couple as a whole and the couple has to accept the single man. In this situation, neither guy has to agree to anything, so you have to give them time to accept each other before you can seriously think of actually getting together wth them.

Yes. Swinging is much harder then it looks. (Pun intended )

If the two men aren't comfortable with each other then it will be difficult for lots of reasons. One man will naturally want to become the alpha (for lack of a better term) So it is important that you share your attention. It may be difficult for both men to stay erect, especially if they haven't been in a play situation before. Assuming they haven't been in a play situation before my thoughts are:

It is easier (I think) for you to keep one man at your head and one down below. That way they can actually watch the situation and have a visual with feeling instead if just feeling.

Try and take the lead yourself. Starting out, sugesst they kiss and warm you up. This requires you to be naked first. Just ask them to do things for you. Have one of them give you oral sex, while you are kissing the other one- stuff like that.

Decide before hand, over dinner or drinks what you want to do and what you don't. Discuss your desires (or lack of) for anal sex, DP, where to have them cum, are you going to swollow, are they wearing condoms all night, etc. What are your boundaries and remember that you are in control of the situation.

Some men are a bit shy or really like cum. If you are sucking one and he cums, lets say on your chest, you would want to know if that bothers the other one.

Keep lots of water on hand, condoms, toys, good lube and something comfy for you to slip in and out of quickly and you should have the time of your life!

[TNT]

Originally Posted by NZ40SomthingFem

So all that's left for me is to go and enjoy the experience. I will report back once it has happened

Cheers

So how did things go? Do you have an up-date for us yet?

Teresa

[Betty and Dave]

Perhaps our experience would be of interest here.

Almost all of our swinging has been MFM. Althought we have had some pleasant experiences with couples, we prefer this for several reasons. For one thing it's less complicated than fitting four personalities together. For another, it allows Betty to be the center of attention, which we both like. And it suits our particular sexual interests. (We are not bi.)

Betty has always chosen the male, and always first-hand. She notices someone that attracts her and seems to appreciate her. (She has an instinct for this I can't describe.) Before proceeding any further she talks it over with me. The next step is to befriend the man, or if we already know him, to deepen our acquaintance. Usually I take this on. I've found this stage establishes a bond (or not, in which case we do not proceed) with the guy. The next step is to have him over to dinner or some other social occasion and see how we all click. Only at this point do we hint that we might be interested in a sexual relationship. The man is usually taken by surprise. But but being single, already attracted to Betty and liking us as a couple, most of them agree to try it. In the cases we have been refused we haven't felt the least offended.

The beauty of this approach is that we establish a relationship before making it sexual. We also have an open discussion about our interests, desires and limits before proceeding. We've found this is always appreciated and helps make our partners comfortable.

The most important aspect for us has always been to make the relationship work first, and then develop it sexually. Many of our MFM partners lasted for several years and were good friends.