My first meeting with a single man

[EvilMJ]

I just wanted to write about my first experiance interacting with a single man. It was happily a positive encounter so I thought I would share.

Hubby and I went to a house party on the weekend (an interesting experience). We were all standing around talking in the hallway when I struck up a conversation with a guy who was standing nearby (he had a very nice smile). He was very polite and respectful towards me, which was suprising considering how aggressive all the married men seemed to be. We had a nice conversation and he told me that he was a single man and asked what my husband and i were looking for. I thought this was nice, he didn't try to initate anything or get pushy, just tested the waters so to speak.

Then this morning I found an e-mail from him on my 'swingers e-mail', just reintroducing himself and letting me know that if I wanted to chat he would love to hear from us and basically leaving the ball in our court. COnsidering all the other people who got my msn just started chatting with me, he was willing to leave it up to me.

It brought home how different it must be for the single man in a swingers world. The married men were so much more free to do what they wished, while he had to hold back and treated it more like ..well dating.

I would say if all single men acted in the manner that he did I would have not have any hesitation including them in our play activiites. ( not that we have ruled him out ). He must have read Curiousagain's rules for the single man.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

I would say if all single men acted in the manner that he did I would have not have any hesitation including them in our play activiites. ( not that we have ruled him out ). He must have read Curiousagain's rules for the single man.

There are good ones out there. Glad you guys bumped into one!

Spoomonkey

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

It brought home how different it must be for the single man in a swingers world. The married men were so much more free to do what they wished, while he had to hold back and treated it more like ..well dating.

I like a single guy to treat me like a potential date.

I'm glad you met one of the good ones, MJ. There are several out there.

[DaveNSheila]

Glad you met a nice single guy MJ. When I lived in AZ I was a single male and tho we had on premises clubs it was still tough. I got to know quite a few people and even played with quite a few. I found out from the start that respecting the couple and their relationship is what was working on my side because I did just that respect the couple as a whole. Glad to know that there are still a few of the nice ones out there. D

[LikeMinds321]

MJ -

This is great, hearing about your positive experience, and knowing you met a single male who could become a playmate, should you and Mr Evil decide to continue communicating with him.

Please keep us posted!

LM

[Chrishard]

Hard to believe, but we aren't all a/h's On behalf of the considerate single males out there, let me thank you, EvilMJ, for treating him with as much respect as he treated you. The considerate couple is just as infrequent as the considerate single male. Keep us posted

[confunktion]

Very happy for you, my Evil One. Success stories like this are always a great read. Here's to more successes in the immediate future.

Mr. Funk
Mazeltov!

[curiousagain]

Thanks for the positive comments, MJ. The guy earned them but it's still nice that you noted it here.

[slowluvr65]

I'd like to think I am that same kind of unaggressive single guys. And in another post I wrote up my experience in the Rendezvous Club in Las Vegas, where my unaggressive style got me into a most wonderful MFM experience while at the same time leaving the aggressive jerks playing with themselves while they watched me have fun. The point being, even if I had it in my nature to be more aggressive, why should I try to change my style. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[sk2005]

Its great that you got to meet a nice single guy. It really is tough for us single guys because it seems that there are alot of guy out there that are really pushy and have one thing in mind. Hopefully by your sharing your encounter, it will show others that there are nice single guys out there.

[WiserNow]

Sounds like a definite winner, and let me add my congratulations for the way you handled the situation. It's considerate people like you who, though they may not encourage single males to join them personally, will at least encourage them to keep trying. Words make the most wicked of weapons, but coming from a thoughtful person they can also change someone's life.

[Sunswept]

I think this thread does a double service,thanks EvilMJ! It shows that yes, there are good single men out there. And it shows that there are good couples out there that appreciate those men and respect the challenges that sincere single men face in the swinging world. I really enjoyed everyones comments here, I am so impressed with the couples and singles on this board.

[WesternSwing]

We've met a couple single guys in person that we liked, but unfortunately now that we're ready to include single guys in our play one has moved away and the other's email doesn't work anymore. So we are looking. Unfortunately, in the past couple of weeks our experiences haven't been as good. But it is looking up. A single guy that Mrs. WS was interested is keeping in touch in a nice, unobtrusive way. I think he has the better chance of meeting us.

Mr. WS

[mxdtxn774]

Interesting thread. Just wanted to expand on this a little. Depending on who you listen to, it would seem that men who are nice and respectful are seen as boring and get nowhere. I guess that is the vanilla dating scene, or does it also work the same way in swinging?

[BradAndJanet]

Originally Posted by mxdtxn774

Interesting thread. Just wanted to expand on this a little. Depending on who you listen to, it would seem that men who are nice and respectful are seen as boring and get nowhere. I guess that is the vanilla dating scene, or does it also work the same way in swinging?

We don't think so. She does the 'hunting' at the club and prefers gentlemen who are approachable and content to relax and enjoy the atmosphere to those who appear to be cruising the room looking for someone to pick up. You don't have to do anything but sit there and look good with us! If she likes what she sees, we'll approach you.

-B