single women looked down upon?

[leigh254]

Are single women looked down upon in the swinging lifestyle? I just got out of a relationship but I still want to have fun even though I am not attached.

[autumn528]

Single women are in great demand and little supply! If you're ever in Jersey...

[intuition897]

Autumn528 is right, although I might add some fine print to that; single women who have their heads on straight about casual sex are in great demand and little supply. However singles - male OR female - who like to play head games, like to infiltrate and ultimately break up others' relationships, have a 'princess/Miss Thang' syndrome, are rude or disrespectful to either half of a couple (or both halves!), or otherwise enjoy making a pain in the ass of themselves...well those we can do without. We're more flexible about physical appearance than we are about character. If a person has a personality that sucks, we don't play. Period. Life is too short to knowingly put yourself in a situation where you know you're going to stepped on.

[Play-Nice]

I would have to agree with intuition897. For my wife and I, attitude is 99% of the fun. As for the demand, we too are also looking for a woman that we can both pleasure and treat like a goddess for a weekend.

So if you are ever on your way up to Jersey to see autumn528 make sure you stop in North Carolina for a day or two

[BiDrywallChick]

Originally Posted by leigh254

Are single women looked down upon in the swinging lifestyle? I just got out of a relationship but I still want to have fun even though I am not attached.

I dont think single women are looked down upon in the swing scene. I have seen more people looking for them than not. HOwever, I do find that I am more leary of single females due to the whole " play the mr against the mrs" attitude that I have recently scene. I know that isnt fair to all single women but that is my confort zone right now. I know couples and married women can play head games as well, i just find it more prominate with single women than married ones. As far as single males, i havent had that ecxperience yet to compare it too

[Dynamar]

Hello... friendly, head-screwed-on-straight (IMO), single bi-female here...

ITA with Intuition's fine print... good advice everyone should heed. While I've only been "at this" (swinging) for a very short while... I can definitely say I've thought about it and perhaps even subconsciously mentally preparing for it for years. Even, and especially, now that I'm an active lifestyle participant... I'm a voracious reader about what couples need personally, emotionally, sexually.

Sometimes it stings a little to read the things that some people post about getting involved with singles, period. However, people's perceptions are their realities and must be dealt with, first and foremost by me... after all, I'm the "outsider" in their relationship. Knowing how others feel gives me new insight into all the ways I must comport myself in order to have success. And by success, I mean... all the parties involved know and like each other; boundaries are communicated, learned, and respected; and everyone has a good time during the occasions we spend together.

Leigh... my advice is this: Think, think, think... read, read, read... and formulate in your head the whys of swinging for you. If you are a free-spirited, open-minded gal who loves getting to know some immensely fascinating people on an intimate level then swinging may be for you. As others have mentioned, a single female has perhaps more options than any other group. But it doesn't mean that you won't have your own set of issues and responsibilities to deal with.

All the best in finding what you seek, whether you decide to start swinging, or not.

ETA: BiDC... Love your new tagline... so glad that song came out, my give-a-damn's been busted for years!

[starlinn]

I agree with Dynamar 100% To us, a single female has a gift to offer, and we are secure and understanding enough, to accept. I have found that with a few rules, you can eliminate alot of misunderstanding, and weed out those single females that may have more on her agenda then having fun with a couple. One rule that we follow is that I make the first contact, after showing hubby the profile and pic, if available. This contact is for both of us. The single female sees that there is a couple, not just a male who is trying to get the wife involved, and it will help put the female of a couple at ease. I have found that any red flags will come up during this initial contact. Also, the rule is, if one of us is not interested, neither of us are interested, no matter what.
I agree Leigh, read and decide what it is that you want out of swinging. As a married couple, my advise to you is to be open minded to all that a couple has to offer. Be up front about what you expect and want, and any couple that you play with does the same for you.

[WoodyInSoCal]

I think you'll find that single women are treated the same as attached women - at least in healthy swinging where women are in control of whatever activities take place.

[leigh254]

Thank you all for the great replies. I appreciate it so much.

[Salome]

It has been my experience that single female swingers are looked down upon
in straight lifestyles, by and large being made victims of hegemonic patriarchy (this is not antimasculinist diatribe), but ordinary hipocrasy. Unfortunately more and more women are being subjected to this. This has also been my reluctance to go forward in a lifestyle that I am interested in exploring. To the
lady that has been subjected to females that play games I feel great empathy, and would suggest that they are not true swingers. They are the equivellent of males that just want to use single or SO to ticket them into the scene. I was hoping that one of the virtues of entering as a single woman that I would'nt be putting up w/ such nonsense, but of course there are all kinds of people across the board (even here), so I expect it helps to be a realist. xxx

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by leigh254

Are single women looked down upon in the swinging lifestyle? I just got out of a relationship but I still want to have fun even though I am not attached.

Being single IS a "swinging lifestyle." Describing oneself as a "single swinger" is a redundent statement. At least it should be, if you're living your life right.

Think about it. You date who you want, when you want, how you want. You can date the same person every night, all night, or you can have a different person every night, thank them for dropping by, then kick 'em to the curb before the ex- brings the kids back home.

The "Swinging Lifestyle" is mostly a way for married people to pretend they're single again a few times a month.

[RNDNV]

For swingers who have bi-sexual wives, a single woman swinger who is truly bi is not only NOT looked down upon, but is indeed perhaps the most sought after "commodity" (for lack of a better word at the moment) in the Lifestyle.

We suggest you deeply examine what it is that you want from swinging. Are you bi or straight, and whatever the answer is for you, ask yourself, are you mainly just interested in partying with the woman or the man? If you are truly bi, and like both genders equally, then as long as you are totally up-front about that, you will have more fun and play partners than you can possibly keep up with. If you are primarily interested in playing with only one gender, then at least be totally honest about what you want, and while your choices will diminish, you will find that some folks will definitely want to play with you as well.

Best wishes,
R&D

[todesireu]

Single women are in high demand in the lifestyle. Would not look down on you if you showed up on our doorstep! facelick

[VegasLee]

Originally Posted by JnCC

The "Swinging Lifestyle" is mostly a way for married people to pretend they're single again a few times a month.

Seeing Laura have a great time with who and how many she desires in a night then KNOWING she is going to go home with ME!

That is better then ANY time I ever had single and betting there is not a single person in the world that can match it.

The swinging lifestyle is nothing about pretend to us. It is a way of life.

[carolinaskye]

reading the above posts really made me feel better,,,,I too have that fear of being looked down on.....I can relate both to the single women and men in fact. I see us singles challenged more in possibly "dating" another single that is both compatible towards any kind of deeper relationship and yet still open to the swinging lifestyle. I am still wondering how would you tell a potential Mr. Right that although he's the greatest....you are really interested in playing together..WOW..thats a pretty tall order new into a relationship...trying to set ground rules..maintain respect for one another..and keep out jealousy as well I'd truly love to hear from any couples who managed to become a couple while exploring swinging..if thats even possibe. And as I am still very new to this idea every post here is eye opening...I hope to some of the wives here I can at least give one single ladies outlook on swinging with a couple..I would HOPE..and certainly at least for me feel, that your commitment and relationship IS the turn on for the other lady...I find it appalling to think there are those out there who are gonna want to come between the two of you rather than admire you and feel honored to play amidst that love for each other..NOT play against it. I truly am learning form these threads o put into consideration a lot more while I am deciding..is this for me? this site is awesome...thanks to all those who post for their honesty and openess.