Single men & Profiles (Advice)

[JustAskJulie]

I think a lot of guys kill there chances early on by the way they post their ad. It's all about "hey buddy you wanna see me fuck your wife?" or something along those lines. A classy ad can go a long way to making a good first impression.

It doesn't happen often, but occasionally when reviewing ads I run into an ad that just pops out at me. More often than not it's because I can't believe someone wrote that and actually thinks people will contact them because of it. Occasionally tho, it's because the ad is so well written that it makes me want to contact the person myself.

I wish I could link directly to individual ads in the personal ads area, but I can't, so I'm just going to copy and paste. I found this ad today when I was approving flagged ads and I was quite impressed with the way it was written. Even the picture that was included was very nice (an upper body/head shot - no shirt - no dick).

Here's the ad:

quote:

---

Hello, Im Bart. Just your average everyday Joe. Seeking Friendly Ladies and Couples.I am not out to impress anyone with false attributes, Just my smile and baby blue eyes. LOL. The only thing I can guarantee is having fun. I am an athletic person with an outgoing personality, witty, relaxed, and curtious. I travel a lot with my job . To me its not about just getting into bed or being intimate, that is just an added perk. Lets chat and see if were compatible

---

In case anyone is interested after reading this, you can find the ad in the FL ads (352 area code).

[Quin]

Wow, I like Bart already!! Too bad he's in Florida and I'm in Ohio I think we could be good friends!!

It is so refreshing to see a single male be truthful and down to earth. I hope Bart has lots of luck with his ad and meets people worthy of him!!

VOTE FOR JULIE!!

Quin

[Flori_DAMAN]

Great point Julie !

90% of the single male adds that we read are discarded immidiately. Here are some examples of what we don't look for.

"Married male looking for some action on the side." We are not interested in engaging in cheating with anyone.......when we say single we mean single. Then there are the obvious married guys posing as single. Single guy looking for some afternoon delight. Evenings and weekends are not open. ya right.

Business man traveling in your area looking for some hot action. We don't care if you are a business man or not. You are obviously desperate enough to travel anywhere to get a piece of someones wife. Most, but not all swinging wives I know do prefer to get to know the guy a bit before getting physically involved. We would never consider having some guy travel hundreds of miles to see us and not expect to feel a bit pressured by all his effort. So of course we won't respond to this type of add.
"Real loverboy that knows how to please available to give your wife what she wants"
This implies that hubby for some reason can't give his own wife what she wants. It demonstrates arrogance and lack of experience. Couples are usually not looking to fill a void in their sex lives but just a bit of extra fun with another guy involved.

"Young inexperienced guy that loves older women" LOL..first of all, with age comes experience. When I was younger I was pretty good in bed but ya know what? I'm better now. Young isn't bad but isn't going to be a selling point for us anyhow . And what woman likes to be called "older"?

I could go on with others but the idea has been brought up well. Couples are just looking for normal single guys that are not fake, arrogant, dangerous, or pushy.

Single guys often lament on the fact that there is so much competition out there for playing with couples and couples often lament that there are so few acceptable single men. I would advise single guys to just be themselves and not try to impress or outdo anyone, especially the hubby of the couple they want to hook up with. John.

[ddrewd]

quote:

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Originally posted by michigancouple:
"...Here are some examples of what we don't look for.
"'Business man traveling in your area looking for some hot action.'"

---

Well, I guess that cuts short my budding swinging career! :p I travel the US with a touring B'way show, so I don't have many options for making intimate connections. While this has been a very educational thread, but I don't really see any solution here for my dilemma.

I don't feel that swingers should avoid single males who travel. I happen to believe that swinging couples are far more fun--out of bed as much as in bed--to be with than single people. But in any case it is difficult for me to meet quality people in the cities I visit. I do not like hanging out at bars.

quote:

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Originally posted by michigancouple:
"We would never consider having some guy travel hundreds of miles to see us and not expect to feel a bit pressured by all his effort."

---

You don't need to travel hundreds of miles to put alot of effort into making connections. Just hang out at a singles bar. I hate places like that because people are just trying way too hard. Except for emails and postings to a couple boards, I don't put effort into making connections. The actual face-to-face meeting is--to me--just 'hanging out.' You see, I don't need to have sex to have fun.

quote:

---

Originally posted by michigancouple:
"We don't care if you are a business man or not. You are obviously desperate enough to travel anywhere to get a piece of someones wife."

---

Ouch.

quote:

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Originally posted by michigancouple:
"So of course we won't respond to this type of add."

---

That is, of course, your choice and I respect that. However, MichCpl does make a good point about the need to take time to get to know someone first before getting physically involved.

In conclusion, you can think of my situation in terms of the touring show I'm in: The Music Man. Just as "Professor" Harold Hill's scurrilous conquests of innocent librarians thoughout the midwest ruined the lives and livelihoods of the 'traveling fraternity' of salesman, so too a couple of traveling jerks [usually married and cheating] have made it difficult for the majority of fun-seeking [single] males to make connections.

Thanks for letting me rant. I joined this board to get some tips and share my thoughts, and I'm grateful for the chance.

Drew

[ddrewd]

Just so no one thinks that I was cheesed by John's last post, I want to thank him for the great advice, especially his conclusion:

"I would advise single guys to just be themselves and not try to impress or outdo anyone, especially the hubby of the couple they want to hook up with."

Thanks again!
Drew

[OhioCouple]

This is part of a profile from a single male who contacted us. Although we have never considered a single male, I did find his ad and profile to be one of the best! It was far from the usual...of "Let me rock your world sort of thing". :p

Tall(6-4/215), decent looking,DDF, HTWP,V-safe, LTFN and physically fit...I don't at all resemble Harrison Ford, Andy Garcia or Antonio Banderas, but that's OK...I wouldn't want you to look like them, either!.....I do kinda look like Mark McGuire without the tree trunks for arms.... and great buns...I'm a classy person (well dressed/well groomed)that can be as comfortable talking classical music and red wine or Football and Hooter's Girls over some HOT wings...I own my own tux, but also feel comfortable in those raggy jeans I'll never pitch!.....I'm professionally employed if that helps!.For those young-uns that think 40yo is wayyyyyyy too old.....Both Tom Cruise and Jim Carrey turn 40 this year....We're in good company, eh?

Just thought I would share this with ya..

L The Female Half

[Flori_DAMAN]

quote:

---

Originally posted by ddrewd:
[quote]Originally posted by michigancouple:
"...Here are some examples of what we don't look for.
"'Business man traveling in your area looking for some hot action.'"

Well, I guess that cuts short my budding swinging career! :p I travel the US with a touring B'way show, so I don't have many options for making intimate connections. While this has been a very educational thread, but I don't really see any solution here for my dilemma.

I don't feel that swingers should avoid single males who travel. I happen to believe that swinging couples are far more fun--out of bed as much as in bed--to be with than single people. But in any case it is difficult for me to meet quality people in the cities I visit. I do not like hanging out at bars.

[quote]Originally posted by michigancouple:
"We would never consider having some guy travel hundreds of miles to see us and not expect to feel a bit pressured by all his effort."

You don't need to travel hundreds of miles to put alot of effort into making connections. Just hang out at a singles bar. I hate places like that because people are just trying way too hard. Except for emails and postings to a couple boards, I don't put effort into making connections. The actual face-to-face meeting is--to me--just 'hanging out.' You see, I don't need to have sex to have fun.

[quote]Originally posted by michigancouple:
"We don't care if you are a business man or not. You are obviously desperate enough to travel anywhere to get a piece of someones wife."

Ouch.

[quote]Originally posted by michigancouple:
"So of course we won't respond to this type of add."

That is, of course, your choice and I respect that. However, MichCpl does make a good point about the need to take time to get to know someone first before getting physically involved.

In conclusion, you can think of my situation in terms of the touring show I'm in: The Music Man. Just as "Professor" Harold Hill's scurrilous conquests of innocent librarians thoughout the midwest ruined the lives and livelihoods of the 'traveling fraternity' of salesman, so too a couple of traveling jerks [usually married and cheating] have made it difficult for the majority of fun-seeking [single] males to make connections.

Thanks for letting me rant. I joined this board to get some tips and share my thoughts, and I'm grateful for the chance.

Drew

---

[Flori_DAMAN]

oops. Didn't mean to just repost Ddrewds resonse, but to quote it.

Yes, it is strictly our policy to not answer traveling adds because we get such a huge volume of responses from traveling guys.

It is hard to believe there are so very many single business men traveling our way.

There are certainly many willing couples for traveling guys though. As Julie implies, the wording in your add makes all the difference in the world. It sounds like you are an ok guy by your post and you could certainly put many of your personal qualities as you so eloquently posted in your reply, as well as your unique job in your adds and get plenty of responses. John

Thanks for the reply. John

[Tellya Later]

quote:

---

Here's the ad:

quote:

---

Hello, Im Bart. Just your average everyday Joe. Seeking Friendly Ladies and Couples.I am not out to impress anyone with false attributes, Just my smile and baby blue eyes. LOL. The only thing I can guarantee is having fun. I am an athletic person with an outgoing personality, witty, relaxed, and curtious. I travel a lot with my job . To me its not about just getting into bed or being intimate, that is just an added perk. Lets chat and see if were compatible

---

In case anyone is interested after reading this, you can find the ad in the FL ads (352 area code).

---

Now I have used ads similar to this and I have had few responses, though they were succesful. I would add that a cordial correspondance is key too. Getting someones attention is one thing keeping it is another. But if you truly are the person from the post this shouldn't be to hard

[ddrewd]

quote:

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Originally posted by michigancouple:
It is hard to believe there are so very many single business men traveling our way.

---

I have a feeling that not many of those salesmen are really "single". Nudge, nudge; wink, wink...

Drew

Most single men put one or two lines in their profile that say what a big cock they have and how they can go all night, then show 1 or 2 pics of said cock.


The problem is that is not what MOST women are interested in when reading a profile. Sure they do not want you to have a 3" limp dick but profiles written like that are a turn-off and get an automatic "No Thanks" reply.

I have put some thought into this and I have come to the conclusion it probably isn't their fault (totally).

They are single men and they think like single men. So they write their profile to what sounds good to them.

Example: If a single guy opened up a womans profile and all it read was "Big tits, tight pussy and loves to fuck" they would be all over it.

So men write their profile thinking that is what woman want to hear about them.
Not so.

Woman want to hear a little about you and what you are about. They want to see a little thought put into your profile so they know you will put a little thought into them. Put in a pic or two of YOU. Block your eyes be dicrete but show us more than your cock. Of course the cock is important but they want to know there is more to you than that.

So when you write a profile try not to write it from a men's primal point of view. Maybe have a woman friend who knows what you are up to help you write your profile.
This is just some advice because I (Mr Here) don't think some single men realize why they are not having much luck with ads, even when they apply to ads of couples looking for single men.
I think you will find you have more luck with couples who may be looking for you. Which works out better for everyone.

[TNT]

I agree Mr. Naughty...we get lots of response to our ad from single men. When I pull up their ad/profile and there are only one or two lines and no pic or just a dick pic, I automatically write them off.

If the ad/profile is well written (even without a pic) I will then respond to find out more about them. I like ads with humor in them...I like to laugh and I want to know that they also enjoy laughing.

As far as a pic, I really could care less what their dick looks like I would much rather see a picture of their whole body even if they block their face. Of course I really like seeing a smiling face but understand that they might not be comfortable with showing a face pic.

Teresa

Excellent point Teresa, I forgot about Humor, tasteful humor.

A Big Plus!!

[curious24]

ugh ugh. I club you.. ugh ugh... drag you back to cave.. ugh ugh..



mine isn't anything like that on SLS. I write people and NEVER hear back. Is it okay to write more than once?

[curiousagain]

If it shows having been read, then that's about all you can do. Writing them again is likely to have negative effect. Some couples only swing or swing with single males occasionally. If they have decided it's time for their yearly MFM, you don't want to be the guy that has made them feel harrassed.