Single men & Profiles (Advice)

[jennandjamesinm]

Perseus -

I'm not experienced at giving reviews, so bear with me, but I'm going to take a stab at it.

I like the pics - no penis shots to be had, and that tells me that you are more than a Dick That's great!!!! Most women looking for a man or a couple that are looking for that 3rd dont want to have a penis wagging in front of their face 1st thing.

One part that has me concerned is this "or maybe a married ladywho has been playing alone." To me, it sounds like you are condoning cheating and true lifestylers look upon cheating as a no-no.

I like the part about it being an honor being invited into a couples bed though - it seems like you have a handle on what it means for a single man to be invited into a couple's play.

Maybe add something in the fantasy section or share some of your experiences, but with out details.....this gives folks looking at your ad a feel for your experience...

I'd take out the part about being fairly well-endowed. Remember you want a single woman or couple to be interested in more that your penis and its size.

All in all, a great profile!!!!! Maybe one of the single males can give you some tips, but I do like it except for the few points that I already made.

Hope this was helpful!!!

Jenn

[Perseus]

Thanks for the tips and especially the compliments. I took some of you advice and chaged ita tad. I like it beter now.

Jim

P. S. Some of the things that couples looking for guys say they are looking for is funny. 6 foot tall, young, no body hair, bi top only... Oh well, the search goes on.

[WesternSwing]

Here's my latest beef with single men profiles: their handles. Some of them are just, well... icky. Some recent ones:

DICK_HARDON
9INCH4U
BOOBFAN
BOXMASTER
THIKLUVSTIK
FILLERUP
PERFECTING_HEAD
THICKNLONG
FKNGUY
MRBIGSTICK
HARD1
SEXLVR
ILUVPUSSY
DR_DP
ORALMAN
BIG11INCH
HEAVYCUM
PIMPIN
HARD8INCH

You get my point. Once again, would they use such a handle on a singles dating site trying to meet a single woman to date? Probably not, so why do they think Mrs. WS will be attracted to a handle like that? When we get an email from a handle like above it is almost automatically deleted without going any further, because we know what the profile is going to say.

So another bit of advice to single men: when writing your profile put some thought into your handle. If it would attract a woman on a vanilla dating site it will attract couples on a swingers site. We are no different then anybody else, you are simply going out with a couple rather than a single girl.

Mr. WS

[txduo2000]

TOTALLY agree, Mr. WS!!! Dito

In fact, our favorite single male had a handle similar to those that you put on your post here, and I encouraged him to change it. He is way too nice a guy to be overlooked because he had a crass handle, and I told him so. He recently changed it, and it is much more appropriate and classy.

[curiousagain]

Handles, yeah, I've seen some pretty strange/sleazy/odd ones for couples too, but SMs are "more guilty" of ones that knock them out of the saddle before they can get on the horse.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

DICK_HARDON

I'm sorry, but that is classic...

Absolutely hilarious!

There is one guy in our area who calls himself "IMPURDY". :rollseyes

I agree with CA - couples have some great ones, too...

There is this one couple called "Spoomonkey". Do they really think they'll get laid with a handle like that? Come on, folks...

Spoomonkey

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I'm sorry, but that is classic...

Absolutely hilarious!

I'm kinda partial to "Dr_DP".

In the ER of a major hospital: "Paging Dr DP to trauma! STAT!"
"Nurse Goodbody, this is going to be a tough procedure. I'll need the shoehorn."

[DavidHeather]

This is what I usually send couples and I have been quite successful.

You two sound like a fun couple. Just to get this out of the way, yes we do play separate since I am here working in MD and she is working in MI. I am trying to get transferred back there. She has a girlfriend who they go seduce poor unsuspecting guys at times. We try to see each other every 2 - 3 weekend. Would you like to meet for a drink?
David

[rossie3149]

hope my ad trun you or some one on

[Too Tall]

Ok.... I took a totally different approach to the whole profile thing, but I just couldn't stand putting up the standard "cookie cutter profile..." even if it was infused with loads of charm. Probably will never get a reply... but at least I can't be accused of being un-original. Thought I would post it here, just because I think the quiz is so clever and relates to the topic so well.

Ok... so a swing couple who are VERY good friends send out a 10 question quiz to perspective single male playmates, that they say saves them a lot of time culling through the hundreds of e-mails they get every month. I decided that rather than write the same old profile, that I would just take their quiz and post it here to see if it really will save us all time. Let me know how you think they would score me.

THE QUIZ:

1. WHAT FAMOUS PERSON DO YOU MOST RESEMBLE? Um, well people tell me I look like Gerald McCranny (Major Dad)... I don't know who he is so I can’t say if they are right. So I would have to say BJ Honeycutt from MASH, that is if he were a foot taller and played middle line backer for the Bears.

2. TELL US A JOKE YOU THINK IS FUNNY. I can never remember jokes, but I remembered the punch line to one, it goes, "that's ok reverend, we aren't welcomed back at Wal-Mart either."

3. ALL GUYS SAY THEIR COCK MEASURES 12 OR MORE, OUR EXPERIENCE SAYS THEY MUST BE USING THE METRIC SYSTEM. FINE! HOW MANY CENTIMETERS LONG IS YOUR ERECT COCK? Had to use a conversion slide-rule BUT my cock is either 17 or 170 (either way…. I love the metric system).

4. CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING THAT BEST DESCRIBES YOUR STAMINA. "MINUTE MAN," "MIDDLE MAN," "ENERGIZER BUNNY?" Well, lets just say that my batteries are rechargeable in 10-15 minutes.

5. HOW WOULD YOUR LAST PARTNER ANSWER QUESTION #4. After only three recharging she just rolled over and went to sleep -- refused to talk or cuddle.

6. MATH SECTION - TAKE THE NUMBER OF PARTNERS YOU CLAIM YOU HAVE HAD, DIVIDE BY 75% AND SUBSTRACT THE NUMBER THAT WERE ACTUALLY REPEAT PARTNERS.
Ok...so 75 divided by 75 equals 1… LESS 32 equals.. negative 32... WOW either I suck at math or I'm a virgin.

7. IN OUR EXPERIENCE 90% OF SINGLE GUYS LIE ON LINE ABOUT THEIR TRUE RELATIONSHIP STATUS, CONVINCE US YOU ARE PART OF THE 10%. Ok, I'm a married male playing as a single with my wife's permission. That claim is SO unbelievable it has to be true. Also I realize that it disqualifies me as a play partner for 99% of the swing world, so why would I lie... but there is still that 1%...lol.

8. EVERY GUYS SAYS HE IS A "SKILLED LOVER," OK TEACH US A TRICK WE DON'T KNOW. Ok... this called the "g-spot juicer" trick. First find her g-spot (its right between her "F" and "H" spot). Now place your hand flat on her belly just above her pubic bone. Now press down with steady press as you use the "come hither" motion with the fingers of your other hand. I advise you not to wear you good shoes for this one.

9. TELL US WHAT WE WOULD SAY ABOUT YOU AFTER OUR FIRST DINNER BUT BEFORE OUR FIRST SEX. Well, I would hope you would say that I'm "an easy going guy who is easy to talk to" (I pride myself in may ability to people at ease by always finding a common interests), that "he seems smart” or better yet, "he’s smart ass" (no I’m not “smart mouthed” (I hate rude people) but I do love to make people laugh even though I have a rather dry sense of humor – if you didn’t notice that this whole quiz is tongue in cheek – you won’t get my humor), that I'm not the typical, "self-centered single guy who has only one thing on his mind to the point that there is little room for anything else." I've gotten to the point in life were I want my partners to have some "there"... "there" – so I feel obligated to offer the same. I like getting to know (and playing with) REAL PEOPLE not blow up dolls with strategically placed holes... in fact I prefer playing with people I ACTUALLY KNOW AND LIKE... (I know, I'm a freak that way). Many the couples I’ve met in the lifestyle are my best friends first… playmates second (if at all).

10. TELL US THE ONE THING YOU DON'T WANT US TO KNOW!
How unbelievably square most people think I am. I’m probably the last one in the room you would guess had such a "wild side" and maybe the last you would pick to play with because of the “starched collar” “straight laced” vibe I give off in the rest of my life. That’s not to say that I’m not personable or fun at office parties, but I’m a painfully proper and serious in my professional life, which probably explains why I’m so passionate, hedonistic and fun loving in my private life (work hard, play harder…lol).

[SnsualPrsuasion]

In the ER of a major hospital: "Paging Dr DP to trauma! STAT!" "Nurse Goodbody, this is going to be a tough procedure. I'll need the shoehorn."

OMG ROFLMAO!!!! I swear, I'm going to have to bundle myself up in Depends like a little old lady playing the slots in Vegas! Every time I read this board something makes me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants. OMG

Too Tall

Let me know how you think they would score me

Um... are we scoring you with the metric system?
I'd have to say that's a great one! Humor is at the top of my criteria. Well, not just humor, but wit! Once again, LMAO

I have one thing to add here: SLS is our primary means of meeting people in the lifestyle, and I know on there that single guys that are free members cannot initiate contact, only receive it & can continue the mail from there. We are wanting to look for a single male at this time, but haven't made contact with anyone due to a few things. You guys should specify what type of people you are looking to interact with. (I'm a BBW & obviously I want someone that would love my rubinesque physique) I am not about to contact a man whose profile just says "looking for fun with fun couples". That's not specific enough for me to be comfortable enough to write.

We've had one MFM (our first experience in swinging) and the guy I ended up talking to was the one that kept me intrigued. It wasn't erotic chat, it was humorous, down to earth, witty and genuine. It wasn't 'wut u into' 'wunt to webcam' 'i have a huge schlo** and i cn rok ur world'. (That was an actual conversation I had just the other day) And if that's how you're spelling on your ad, I wouldn't talk to you. I want someone to stimulate my mind as well as my body. But that's just me.

[SnsualPrsuasion]

Here's my latest beef with single men profiles: their handles. Some of them are just, well... icky. Some recent ones:

DICK_HARDON
9INCH4U
BOOBFAN
BOXMASTER
THIKLUVSTIK
FILLERUP
PERFECTING_HEAD
THICKNLONG
FKNGUY
MRBIGSTICK
HARD1
SEXLVR
ILUVPUSSY
DR_DP
ORALMAN
BIG11INCH
HEAVYCUM
PIMPIN
HARD8INCH

LMAO I Have to add one to that list that I just saw on SLS It's SCHLONGO lmaooooooo

[BellyManBob]

I am Chuckling as I'm reading this particular post. Some of the handles are pretty out there.

At the risk of gloating a bit, I Feel that my profile is appropriate, honest and very sincere.

My handle is one I came up with while indulging in a Caffeinic Beverage.
I am a Writer and sometimes get my best ideas while in an enhanced state of mind.

Anyway, It simply means that one of the most sensual attributes of a woman to me is a nice Yummy Belly. facelick

[Amanda69]

Having been a single female in the lifestyle for a period of time I ran into a lot of single males both at the clubs (we have several here that allow single males) and on line.

Several bits of advise I always gave:

1) Put your clothes back on, cover the penis. We all know you have one and you think it is God's gift to women but to be honest it doesn't photograph that well.

2) Post pics that show off your body to its best potential, ie: tight jeans, nice suit, whatever works to show something about your personality as well. (dick shots only show you are a dick...tell me more)

3) Choose a name that again does not concentrate on your dick or your alleged prowess. Something that says I have imagination and verbal skills.

4) Women love to be seduced...this does not mean that in the first few seconds you offer to "fuck her brains out." Seduction takes skills and time...doesn't necessarily mean days but at least it is more than the above immediate statement.

5) Don't keep insisting that despite your young age you are going to show me something...I have seen it, done it and written the book on it. I might still enjoy trying you out but not if you tell me I am missing something if I don't.

There are many respectful single males out there just waiting for the right couples or singles. Sometimes all that is needed is a little guidance and patience. I have found most accept constructive criticism, if they don't they weren't worth the time in the first place.

[CandPinSA]

Originally Posted by Tellya Later

Now I have used ads similar to this and I have had few responses, though they were succesful. I would add that a cordial correspondance is key too. Getting someones attention is one thing keeping it is another. But if you truly are the person from the post this shouldn't be to hard

Man, I couldn't agree more.... cordial AND RESPECTFUL correspondence. Mr. C here... I posted a reply to something about the top meaningless statements. My reply was generally about respect... part of it reply was actually the direct result of a chat conversation I had today with someone from SLS... he and I were simply discussing our profiles and as such, our desires, and generally (at least me) trying to get a feel for the other person... every thing was actually going just fine until he said something about Mrs. P's "cunt". Ooooops.... instant dismissal, instant deletion, and instant ignore. He let his true nature be seen in that one word... IMHO. He thinks that because we've decided to enter the swinging arena, we must be a bunch of whores and sluts that just want to f*ck every thing that walks by. We might be up for some fun with another guy when we meet one we like, but damn man... we're not just an easy lay for every guy that can get his stuff hard. Hell, mine gets plenty hard every time...and we don’t seem to have any disappointments happening in the bedroom. We don't need his. We just want some extra spice....and his choice of vocabulary gave a tremendous insight into his intellect, and his mentality. I'll try to find his profile and be sure to post his SLS username here. I just can't stand that word.... NOR can Mrs. P. If he can't show any more respect for me or my wife than that, when he's had all of a 10 minute online conversation with me (or ever for that matter), then what in the hell makes him think I'm going to allow him or his 'parts' anywhere near my wife or her parts?

Mr. C