Power or control?

[Couple_N_Ark]

We play with more single men than we do women or couples. Most generally I do most of the talking and email answering, and then I'll talk to Lisa about possibly meeting someone.

Our preference though is to meet others in a club setting.

Either of us have veto power over who to play with, even if it's me saying no to Lisa about a man she wants to play with.

A good example was on our last trip to Atlanta. We were at the Trapeze Club there. To go into the back room area where most couples play, you have to disrobe. You can either wear a towel or nightie or nothing.

A couple was in an open play room having sex, and another man was there watching, and touching. We went into the room to watch, and the couple having sex invited us to touch if we wanted. Lisa had a great time since touching another female is such a turn on for her.

Anyhow, the "odd man out" who was there touching was also getitng handsy with Lisa, which was ok. As things progressed the "odd man out" suggested to Lisa that he'd like to have sex with her, and Lisa was ok with it, but I wasn't, and told her no. She was fine with that decision.

NOW, here is the reason....Earlier in the night, I had went back up to the front of the club which was mostly empty since everyone was in the back. While I was up there I did see this same guy arguing with his wife/girlfriend. She was still in "street clothes" and he was in a towel.

He left her sitting in the front crying. He told us / Lisa that he was single and there alone. I was simply not comfortable with the situation. I kind of got the feeling that she did not want to be there.

Later when I explained why to Lisa, she was in total agreement. We just always think two opinions are better than one.

[Tia Vampire]

If there are rule put into place before play start, the husband should not have too much to say unless he is jealous of the guy the wife picks or he knows from work or something like that. We won't mess with a couple we work with or knowwell from around here.

[MrsVan]

I agree with everyone else that has posted.. In this lifestyle neither the husband or the wife controls the other. We seek approval not control as we want to make sure that both are comfortable with the individual or individual's that we are allowing into our sex life.

If either one of us is uncomfortable or gets the "weird" vibe from anyone that we may potentially play with then we talk about it and decide on what is best for us. If there is a couple that the husband gives me that "weird" vibe, then we do not play with them.

MrVan has no control over me and if he is not comfortable with a single guy that we are checking out to join us then we move on, no questions asked. It has nothing to do with MrVan being jealous of the guy because MrVan is the one that has me, not the other guy.

MrsVan

[MoonLightKiss]

I agree with the others. My husband and I both have veto power over any playmates. But its not control. Its respect given to each other. I give him the power of veto just like he gives it to me. Its because we love each other and don't want to do anything to make the other uncomfortable.