What do couples think about the single males they play with?

[curiousagain]

There was a thread recently that a married guy wanting a MFM wondered what the single guy they might select would think of him.

This begs the question, when a couple plays with a single (male or female) What does the husband or wife think of them? I had thought about making this a poll but I like open questions much better than structured ones.

I may wind up wishing I hadn't asked this, but fire away.

thanks in advance

[HeAndDblD]

It depends entirely on the man and the compatibility factor. We've had a couple of playmates that when the sex was done, there was nothing to enjoy about his company...either for my wife or me. We simply had no other common interests.

One has become a very good friend and will probably remain so. His visits are as much fun socially as they are sexually.

As far a respect goes, we would never even meet someone we couldn't respect.

[ALilOEverything]

Now I've never swung with a single guy but when it's been considered different thoughts have gone through my mind. In the beginning I first of what the single guy would be like and I kept thinking how desperate he must be for sex to resort to something like this. And then my next thoughts, about a month later was a guy fearing commitment and only wanting unattached sex and this must be the only way to get it. Both of those scenarios made me think not so hot of the guy and I knew that if I didn't think a lot of the guy I wouldn't go through with it.

Now keep in mind, we have met any single men YET but now my perspective is changing and I keep thinking... how awesome is it that a guy is seeking out something so utterly kinky and *hopefully*. It would have to be a guy who could carry on a great conversation because I'm totally attracted to personality. So I play in my mind the perfect scenario, we meet up, he's handsome and can talk openly and freely with both of us. He gives off the vibes he wants to be with us because he totally loves the idea of satisfying three people. Now I think the RIGHT single guy could be awesome. Now that I have a more positive attitude about it I wouldn't think anything but the best of him and how great it is he would consider playing with us and fullfilling the many fantasies the three of us have.

Those are my thoughts. My husband has been warming up to the idea And I think it's because his attitudes have been evolving in a positive way like mine. Did I answer the question? I'm not even sure what it was now

[LikeMinds321]

I don't yet know what to think of single swinging males. I haven't met one.

I recently started searching through SLS for single males in a fifty mile radius of where we live.

I had always heard that finding a single male would be much easier than a couple, but I don't think so, at least not around here. After reading through the profiles it doesn't look promising for us.

If I based my decision on physical features alone I could make some contacts. But read these guys profiles and they are far from what I/we are looking for.

We want everything in our swing experience with a single male that we seek with couples. For us this means a meeting of the minds. If we can't talk, laugh, have a good time in each other's company, then the sex would be unsexy for us.

I really don't know what to expect when that day comes for our first MFM. I hope that it will become a longlasting swinging friendship.

I hope this answers your question.

LM

[TNT]

Well considering that MFM is one of our favorite things to do, when we find a single man to play with I'm usually rubbing my hands together, grinning from ear to ear and thinking "Oh goody, I get two men" Yeah, I know, I'm a skin slut and love being totally surrounding by two bodies, so sue me.

I have NEVER thought of any single man we play with as a looser. Some of the things that go through my mind during conversations, depending on what the topic is, are...Oh how sweet...Oh good, he likes the same things we do...Oh boy, we're going to have fun with him...I wish these two would stop BS's so we could go play .

I have always considered us lucky when we find a single man that enjoys MFM threesomes as much as we do. It takes a special man to be the third wheel with a couple. A lot of men think they can do it, but when it comes down to it, having sex with a woman in front of her husband and with her husband participating, is not that easy. So for those that can I am extremely grateful to, because they helped us make our fantasy come true and in return I hope we helped them with some of theirs.

Teresa

P.S. Did that answer your question?

[curiousagain]

Some interesting answers so far, thanks. Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop.
Sorry, got distracted.
What about those that play with single females? What runs through your head in regards to them??

[good times]

I can only answer this question in a round about way because we have yet to do the single male thing. I think the main reason we haven't is, although I am trying to become more enlightened, I still can't get over the idea that if these single males we meet were worth the effort they would already have a girl friend or wife. I know, flame away, that isn't a very popular sentiment around here, but it is the way I feel. We even know a couple of guys that I think Mrs. GT would go for, but until I can come to terms with what I think about them it will just have to remain in her fantasies.

If it's any consolation to you single guys on the board, through your continued posts to various threads on this board you have caused me to rethink my views on this to the point were I can forsee the possibility of including the ocasional single male in the future. But I admit I'm not quite there yet, as I still can't seem to overcome this last preconcieved notion.

[curiousagain]

One doesn't ask a question until one is prepared for the answer. Honesty is a much more precious commodity than flattery or kind words.

[midnight hour]

We love the MFM facelick and Mr. Midnight is straight...but we seek them out and I have never thought of them as losers or any bad thing.. >
Most of the males we have played with have been married, are now divorced paying child support with good jobs. They do not want a relationship that will involve rings or china or meeting the folks.
So they are perfectly happy to sit up long term situations with couples. Everyone is pleased at the end of the evening, or so has been our experience. Of course one must remember that I rule out single men old enough to be my Father and young enough I could have gave birth to them. I know that Mr. Midnight said that not every man can do a MFM that it takes a little bit of a kink to be able to do this. And a little bit of kink is fine by me...there is NOTHING like being Queen for the night
And a good single man always knows when to leave...

[hotsummers]

Losers? Sometimes I'm sure. But when I was a single guy and was propositioned by a wife in front of her hubby I was flattered. I was not dating anyone serious but I was dating a few women on and off causally. I did NOT want a relationship with them, but more just people to go out with, have fun and socialize with, and they knew this up front. Sex was optional for me as well as them. Often I had been in a relationship because it was comfortable. But I became aware that years could pass you by if your are invovled with someone even though she is not "the one." This was not fair to the female either. I had been proposed to (marriage) by three women in one year! That made me want to keep all women at a certain distance intil I was ready to let the RIGHT one in! In the mean time, the couple idea appealed to me on many levels. It was fun, they did not want to marry me! LOL And I very much enjoyed helping them fulfill their fantasies!

I found my pefect mate three years ago and have been smiling ever since! And what a bonus, she is interested in the lifestyle too! Now THAT was worth waiting for. My point: Keep in mind that some men know what they want and won't settle for less. Just because they are not hitched to someone does not mean they could not be if they wanted to. It might mean that they are just holding out for Mrs. Right, not Mrs. right now.

[coupleinCT]

We've done MFM a with a few different people, but we needed to get to know them first, if we didn't already. Since we wouldn't have been with them unless we had something in common in the first place, there wasn't much pressure once things got going.

After everyone is finished, being on obsessive host, I still have to make sure no one goes home hungry, so we'll usually finish the night up with some late night snacks, which relieves the awkwardness of the exit. Also, if there has been too much drinking, we'll make sure they feel comfortable staying in the spare bedroom, so we can all get some rest and privacy. We've only been over to one single M's place, and he'd been at our house prior, so there was no pressure, we just all stayed up all night, grabbed a nap, and all went to breakfast.

Since we don't jump into those situations without at least getting to know the person, we're pretty good about weeding out what we don't want.

[xxoticangel]

In the begining we refered to singel men as "dildo with a pulse". Not the most flattering thought I know. Even though a couple of single men were friends of mine when it came to bedroom activites they were toys to be used then put back on the shelf. Since then we have matured in our thinking and are currently looking for one or two single men for a "steady" relationship. Someone we can be friends with outside the bedroom but still get dirty with later (or first).
Recently we received a response to our ad that asked "What kind of man lets other guys fuck his wife?" While he was rude and immediately blocked I started to wonder how many single guys think like this.

[Denver2some]

Mrs D2S here ...

We've had some great experiences with single men, so we are predisposed to think favorably of them as a group. Although we've heard the stories about the many jerks out there (and gotten emails from a few) ... we have adopted an "innocent until proven guilty" approach.

But there are some sub-groups for us:
1) Single men who have lifestyle experience. The guys like this we've met were each introduced to the lifestyle in a former relationship or marriage, and are now just enjoying themselves while they are in-between relationships. These guys are worth their weight in gold. They have completely respected our relationship, and we are so happy to meet them. Because they are our friends, I do worry sometimes for them, because it can be very hard to meet someone who is interested in swinging. I worry that they might not be able to be satisfied, if they meet a woman who has no interest in the lifestyle. I hope that won't be the case.
2) Single men who are young and curious, with no lifestyle experience. The ones who have done their research and understand an MFM isn't to take Mr D2S' place or do something he "can't" (as if!) ... we think "Good for them, being so open-minded at a young age!" But I guess I also worry they will get into the lifestyle so much that they won't even be happy with vanilla girls. The ones who haven't done their research and have no clue ... we feel sorry for these, because they aren't going to get any action!
3) Married men who are pretending to be single. They aren't single, so really have no place in this list. We wish they would give up, because they just waste our time when we are trying to meet actual single men.

The single guys we meet who are nice, respectful and fun ... we would never think "Poor guy, he can't get a date." We know our friends have lots of dates. I do occasionally think about the girls they meet in their vanilla dating life: I expect the girls are very impressed with their skills in bed!

[curiousagain]

Originally Posted by xxoticangel

In the begining we refered to singel men as "dildo with a pulse". Not the most flattering thought I know. Even though a couple of single men were friends of mine when it came to bedroom activites they were toys to be used then put back on the shelf. Since then we have matured in our thinking and are currently looking for one or two single men for a "steady" relationship. Someone we can be friends with outside the bedroom but still get dirty with later (or first).
Recently we received a response to our ad that asked "What kind of man lets other guys fuck his wife?" While he was rude and immediately blocked I started to wonder how many single guys think like this.

The ones that are from the island of misfit toys.

[curiousagain]

Originally Posted by hotsummers

Just because they are not hitched to someone does not mean they could not be if they wanted to. It might mean that they are just holding out for Mrs. Right, not Mrs. right now.

EXACTLY