Rules for Single Males

[danc694u]

We checked over the rules for single guys. And, didn't see this one. It applies across the board though...single or married.

Introduce yourself to our faces, rather than attempting to introduce yourself to our crotch first!

Grrrr This is a common problem at some clubs, it seems.

[JustAskJulie]

I would think it would introduce yourself to our faces, not our tits!

[Flori_DAMAN]

After reviewing the posts in this topic I will venture to start a set of guidelines that will hopefully be means of helping both the single male and the couple seeking the single male for threeways.
It seems to be a bit odd that while the single male is befuddled and says there is way too much competition in the lifestyle you have the couples on the other side of the couch wondering why they cannot find a decent single male.
Many single males as well as couples eventually just quit looking.

Here are some suggestions for single males. Suggestions for couples will follow.

1: Don't bullshit. If you are married then just say so. You may be in for a destruction of your marriage as well as an unpleasant experience or two when you are caught, which you probably will be.

2: Don't bullshit. Practically every guy that has had more than a few casual sex encounters is convinced that he is the all-time lovemaking Don Juan on the continent. Be aware that the hubby of the fine lady you hope to connect with thinks he's pretty good too. Do you think you will get far with him by implying that you are better than him at having sex? Couples do not want single males for a sex guru. They are not attempting to have their first orgasm. They are simply using a single male as an added pleasure for fantasy fullfillment.

3: Don't bullshit. If you have told so many lies to hook a couple that you are now afraid to meet them then you may have pushed the envelope. Many single males are famous for getting right up to the point of meeting then copping out. (This holds true for some couples also as we all know.). If you want to have sex with a couple commit yourself to following up on meeting them casually first usually so they can judge your looks, personality, etc. to see if the famous "chemistry" is there.

4: Be yourself. Don't bullshit. I see a lot of adds that tell the whole story. Many guys are under the impression that they need to impress the daylights out of a couple to get them. They look at the overwhelming number of adds placed by single guys and think their chances are nill to none and just quit there. Believe it or not, if you are a decent clean, honestly single male you are a sought after item. I have been on both sides of this fence. My wife and I have occasionally searched for a single male although currently are not. I was astounded by the simplicity of weeding out the bad apples. You can be certain that your prospective couples will not even answer 99% of the adds they see and will not respond positively to 90% of the people that respond to their adds. Using simple math you have great odds of hooking up with a couple if you are who you say you are and place a good add.
Thats all for now for the sake of brevity. Please add to this list and think of suggetions for couples too, if the urge hits ya. John

[Julie and Randie]

So John, is what you are saying...don't bullshit?? I have a few suggestions to add..

Treat the couples with respect...especially the women! Remember that YOU are the outsider! Perhaps the husband fantasizes about his wife with another man..but she is still his wife! Also, do not EVER even hint that you want to meet her alone. We find this kind of behavior quite an insult.

Single males are quite frankly a dime a dozen...so you need to find something that will make you stand out. A sense of humor, honesty, and sensitivity will get you everywhere.

I highly recommend having, for lack of a better word, references. If you have met a few couples, and it has gone well, ask them if they might give you a "recommendation" to others...

[ 06-25-2002, 03:47 PM: Message edited by: Julie and Randie ]

[JustAskJulie]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Julie and Randie:
[QB]

I highly recommend having, for lack of a better word, references. If you have met a few couples, and it has gone well, ask them if they might give you a "recommendation" to others...

[QB]

---

One thing to ad to this one. Make sure it's the couple you were with giving the references not you just dropping names. I have seen this one too many times. "Well I've been with xyz and abc and they had a great time". I'd much rather hear that from the couple themselves. It seems like many guys get the idea that if they've been with one couple that they can tell the world and everyone will want them now because someone gave them a chance.

[blue_eyez]

You may be saying the same thing, but let me be explicit about it...

Don't share the names of your reference without their permission. The couple you were with likely asked for discretion, which means you should get their approval first. You need to respect their confidentiality first and foremost, or can be most assured they won't be a reference for long!

[ 06-25-2002, 08:32 PM: Message edited by: blue_eyez ]

[JustAskJulie]

A long time ago in a thread far far away (that I can't find or I woulda just bumped it up), the male and female halves of couples shared their "rules for single men". Those rules were transfered onto our Advice for Single Males page in the Info and Advice section.

I'd like to know if anyone has anything they would like to add to it.

Remember she has a mind as well as a body. Yes physical attraction is important, but just as important, she has to be interested in you as a person.

The husband is just as important in the decision as his wife. If you pretend he is not there while getting to know one another chances are you won't get far.

If you get a phone number do not make all your calls when you KNOW the husband won't be there.

Don't become a stalker, even unintentionaly. She is not looking for a boyfriend.

We are not trying to make you "Jump through hoops" or "Pass some kind of test". It's really quite simple:
1- She has to be attracted to you.
2- We have to feel comfortable with you.
3- Treat her like you would treat a good friend.
4- When she/we are ready she will make the first move.

[jcbicouple]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

Remember she has a mind as well as a body. Yes physical attraction is important, but just as important, she has to be interested in you as a person.

The husband is just as important in the decision as his wife. If you pretend he is not there while getting to know one another chances are you won't get far.

If you get a phone number do not make all your calls when you KNOW the husband won't be there.

Don't become a stalker, even unintentionaly. She is not looking for a boyfriend.

We are not trying to make you "Jump through hoops" or "Pass some kind of test". It's really quite simple:
1- She has to be attracted to you.
2- We have to feel comfortable with you.
3- Treat her like you would treat a good friend.
4- When she/we are ready she will make the first move.

Just a note: This applies just as much to single females.

[Tellya Later]

And that should honestly end the thread jcbicouple. If a single guy approaches a couple the same way he a single woman....he'll be hard pressed NOT to succeed...unless its just not meant to be. And if that is the case everyone involved is adults should be mature enough to make their disinterest known civilaly(sp).

[jcbicouple]

Very good point, Tellya Later! and hopefully all the singles will pay attention to that great advice.
However, What we actually meant was that the single women need to read those "rules" too. They apply to them, just as much as they apply to the single males.

[gsu22]

I know the first thing I try to be is personable/nice because I think comfort is KEY. Granted, when you first see a person the attraction factor is either there or not. But if you're kinda "iffy" as to rather or not you want to pursue something with this person, I think with comfort can come more attraction. Soon you might be thinking, wow I'm more attracted to this person now that I'm more comfortable with them.

Also, another thing I've made sure I don't do is become obsessed or stalker like b/c I know if the tables were turned, I'd feel weirded out by some obsessed woman following my every move or calling at odd times asking for things. Like the earlier response said, the ladies aren't looking for boyfriends....

And I agree with the statement,- "single women should follow the same rules".

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

I noticed that the rules indicated that the single should not just sit at the bar all night and then expect to play but rather he should move around the club and introduce himself to a couple, complimenting the wife.

Here's my point, nothing gets a guy a quicker turn down than one who instead of approaching us as a couple waits till Mr Spoo goes to get an other drink or something and they approach me alone. head bang
Now they can approach Mr Spoo alone all they want to get acquainted and meet me when I walk back but don't try to weasel in with me when he isn't around. Remember we're in this together and if you ignore him then the answer is NO when it comes to anything further.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[good times]

That is so true Mrs. Spoomomkey, Their is a guy at the club we go to that comes often, is well dressed and according to Mrs. GT is very attractive, and since I've got to know him he seems like a pretty nice guy. But he will never be invited to play with Mrs. GT because the first two times (and in fact every time since but the decision was made after the first two times) he approached her to let her know his interest in her was when I was temporarily absent (getting drinks, or bathroom break). And even though we have talked on numerous occasions he has never brought up the fact that he wants to have sex with my wife even though he has asked her straight out on several occasions when I wasn't within earshot. That's a party foul in my book.

Posted by good times;

...And even though we have talked on numerous occasions he has never brought up the fact that he wants to have sex with my wife even though he has asked her straight out on several occasions when I wasn't within earshot. That's a party foul in my book.

Why do you still talk to him at all?

Sounds like an untrustworthy fellow to me.